# There's a new Jack Chick tract, and boy is it a doozy! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 5, 2001, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495 "2001-11-05T00:23:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/41 "2001-11-05T15:41:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*Count me as one of mnay (but no one else on the sdmb) who thinks Harry Potter is intended to teach children witchcraft. And yes, i won’t let my son read it. > \*\* He he, this is funny. Having read all four Harry Potter books, I’m now ready to cast spells and I wasn’t even aware of it. Or maybe I now know all the nuances of the Wiccan religion. Can I claim to be an authority on witchcraft now? Bibbity bobbity boo! Abracadrabra! Alakazam! So, how many Dopers have been turned into frogs? I’m new at this, so I’m not aware of my own strength. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/42 "2001-11-05T15:49:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by throatshot \* > \*\* > So, how many Dopers have been turned into frogs? I’m new at this, so I’m not aware of my own strength. \*\* Ribb-it ---
**Author:** ![Phobos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Phobos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phobos)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/43 "2001-11-05T15:54:09Z")
I’m starting to think that most of the “hits” to Jack’s website are Dopers there for a good laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/44 "2001-11-05T16:01:20Z")
One startling omission from this new Chick Tract is that nowhere in it, at any point, does someone say “HAW! HAW!” How could such a glaring oversight have been allowed to make it into print unnoticed? It’s like a James Bond movie with no visit to Q’s workshop. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/45 "2001-11-05T16:14:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*So, how many Dopers have been turned into frogs? \*\* Nee-deep. Nee-deep. Nee-deep in shit. Oops… Make that “Nee-deep in tracts”. > [@](#): > > Why do we seek out ignorance and bring it to these boards? Know thy enemy… > [@](#): > > Chick is just trying to make a buck off of stupidity, or some insane anti-religious dude trying to discredit Christians. _Agents Provocateur_? It’s possible… I like the crafty huckster idea myself. There’s something… _elegant_… to the idea of a really slick con whereby people (Chick groupies) fleece themselves. It’s like judo: He uses their own stupidity against them. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/46 "2001-11-05T16:49:04Z")
Anyone else notice the Vulcan among the Egyptians laughing at Moses? He even has the raised eyebrow! ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/47 "2001-11-05T17:02:26Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally muttered by Ned Flanders_ > **And Harry Potter and all his wizard friends went straight to hell for practicing witchcraft!** I couldn’t help but think of this while reading this thread. As to the tract, did anyone else notice that in the early panels, when she is still an evil intolerant secularist, that Ms. Crawford looks distinctively oriental? And that as she sees the light she becomes more and more occidental? Ya gotta love Chick, maximum ignorance in minimum space. ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/48 "2001-11-05T17:25:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*Lets just get Jack and Texe Marrs together… > > Count me as one of mnay (but no one else on the sdmb) who thinks Harry Potter is intended to teach children witchcraft. And yes, i won’t let my son read it. > > BTW, did the teacher UNflunk the boy then? \*\* Oh no! She has discovered the secret global conspiracy headed by Queen Rowling to corrupt children with real witchcraft! We need to kill her by running her over with flying broomsticks! Because we all know that children cannot distinguish fantasy from reality! So explain why it is intended to teach witchcraft. By forbidding kids to do something, they will want to do it even more. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/49 "2001-11-05T17:45:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by red\_dragon60 \* > Oh no! She has discovered the secret global conspiracy headed by Queen Rowling to corrupt children with real witchcraft! Y’know I went to ask her about that, and she turned me into a **newt**! [sub]I got better…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![omni-not](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8dc957/32.png) [@omni-not](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/omni-not)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/50 "2001-11-05T18:10:47Z")
I just LOVED it!! I kept reading, waiting for the punch line. It never came. Mid-way through, it occurred to me that this might be ‘serious’. And even at the end (not ever having been on that site), I thought the whole thing might have been a parody, in a series of parodies. I mean, what would you expect from ‘[chick.com](http://chick.com)’?). It’s only when I reached the bottom of the page, with the additional sermonizing, that I realized that this was serious stuff. **Lucki** , you’ve made my day. I’ll be watching for new ‘installments’ with bated breath. ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/51 "2001-11-05T18:32:45Z")
vanilla, have you read the Potter books? Magic in these books consists to pointing a wand and yelling something in garbled Latin, or else mixing fantastic incredients in a pot. It’s not an accurate portrayal of magic as practiced by Wiccans, Satanists (note the difference), Hindu fakirs, Christian miracle-workers, Jewish Kabbalists, or anyone else. Nor is it intended to be. It’s a bloody fantasy. And a darn good one. The only reference to any kind of theology is a vaguely Christian one: Hogwarts celebrates Christmas and Easter. The books can even satisfy sceptics! They take a dim view on fortune-telling and there’s a rational explanation why we don’t see wizards up and down the street. Read 'em yourself, they’re good. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/52 "2001-11-05T18:59:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\* > Count me as one of many (but no one else on the sdmb) who thinks Harry Potter is intended to teach children witchcraft. And yes, i won’t let my son read it. > > \*\* I take it then, that _Jumanji_ isn’t a movie that you and your family will be renting. I met somebody who told me that all the “chants” said in the movie while playing the game are designed to get the attention of Satan. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/53 "2001-11-05T19:38:08Z")
that “witch” in the dark dungeon tract kinda gets me hot! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/54 "2001-11-05T20:06:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > > Count me as one of mnay (but no one else on the sdmb) who thinks Harry Potter is intended to teach children witchcraft. And yes, i won’t let my son read it. :rolleyes: YEp, nothing like fighting ignorance… ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/55 "2001-11-05T20:24:31Z")
All those Shriners in weird hats and tiny cars are, of course, driving in patterns which are ritual invocations of Satan! On a serious note, the thing I find funniest in the Baphomet tract is the assumption that all Masons are Christians. The condo my folks live in is teeming with high level Masons, all of them Jewish. “When you took that oath, you turned your back on Jesus!” “Oy gevault! I turned my back on Jesus! Oh, the unspeakable horror of it all! I must go home and tell my wife! She could use a good laugh like this.” I’d also like to point out the discrepancy between “Love The Jews” and the classic “Where’s Rabbi Waxman”. To wit-Love the Jews. God protects the Jews. But all Jews who die without accepting Jesus go to Hell. ``` Jack's work should carry a warning-Contains bizarre and convoluted logic, attempting to understand this may cause your head to explode ``` ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/56 "2001-11-05T21:09:28Z")
Heh. It would be funny if it weren’t so sad. Anyway, FTR for those interested, to adress a bit of the “history”, the tract says: > [@](#): > > Pharoah _ordered_ them out of Egypt. Over 3 million slave departed. Egypt was _ruined_. From a somewhat less biased source (Encarta Encyclopedia): > [@](#): > > The Exodus is viewed by many historians as the successful effort of the Hebrews in Egyptian bondage to be reunited with other Hebrew tribes with which they retained a sense of kinship. No archaeological records of the Exodus exist, even on Egyptian monuments, probably because the Egyptian Hebrews numbered at most a few thousand and probably less than that. **Their flight evidently caused no great concern in Egypt.** > > In Jewish history, however, the Exodus assumed major proportions. > (Emphasis mine) Yes, I do feel a bit silly pointing out inaccuracies in such an obviously skewed and false piece of propaganda, but the OP _did_ imply he was interested in some actual historical enlightenment regarding the tract. So there. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/57 "2001-11-05T21:26:14Z")
…I was completely expecting Jack Chick to do a tract on why the 9/11 terrorist attacks were the results of Americans banning God from schools and embracing New Age ideals and taking the Lord’s name in vain, so the crazed followers of the false Moon God of Islam could strike our country and break our spirit. Jack’s definitely losing it. As for **Dark Dungeons,** I’m _still_ wondering which AD&D spellbook I need to buy to find the instructions for doing “real magic”. It’d probably help if I wasn’t actually playing **Paranoia** instead. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/58 "2001-11-05T21:31:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DocCathode \* > \*\*I’d also like to point out the discrepancy between “Love The Jews” and the classic “Where’s Rabbi Waxman”. To wit-Love the Jews. God protects the Jews. But all Jews who die without accepting Jesus go to Hell. > \*\* A couple of factoids 1. Rabbi Waxman was changed at some point. There was a panel where Rabbi Waxman was in Hell. I can’t document this, but I distinctly remember being shocked and amused by it. 2. Rabbi Waxman was based on a real person. When I get home, I’ll check my info, but apparently the “inspiration” for Rabbi Waxman was a very liberal, Reform Rabbi out of California who Chick _hated_! Fenris ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/59 "2001-11-05T21:45:07Z")
ohh, boy. i knew i’da done good when i asked for that thar link! hey, when someone does find the D&D spellbook that has real spells in it, i’d love it if they sent me a copy. i would much prefer to blow shit up with Fireball rather than just melt holes in rocks with thermite. not to dis thermite, or anything… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/60 "2001-11-05T21:45:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\*I distinctly remember being shocked and amused by it. > \*\* Erm…amused because Chick’s idea of Hell involved being poked by cute l’il devils with tiny pitchforks. Despite my disgust, it was a bizarre panel. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495.md?page=4)