# There's a new Jack Chick tract, and boy is it a doozy! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 5, 2001, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495 "2001-11-05T00:23:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/61 "2001-11-05T21:48:55Z")
I maintain, based on Fenris unbelievable knowledge of all-things-comic-book, that he is the result of a secret lab experiment. Tissue samples from Stan Lee, Jack Kirby and others were mixed with crushed Philosopher’s Stone, glowing ooze from a cracked meteorite and printer’s ink. The mixture was then exposed to cosmic rays and the light from an oval TV showing Superman episodes. I, and I mean this as a sincere gesture of respect, bow to your wisdom. I thought I knew about comics but, to quote one of my favorite series “If you drew me 2 inches tall, you’d need a page the size of Canada to show {Fenris}” Like many Chick readers, I want a free copy of every tract. The fact that Chick writes these as a serious attempt to convert people is the funniest and most unbelievable thing of all. There are many fine parody sites on the web. Due to threats of legal action, these now use original artwork rather than original Chick drawings. Somewhere on the web also is a hilarious site in which Dark Dungeons is given the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment. Best line 'This can’t be an RPG group! Where are all the cases of Mountain Dew?" ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/62 "2001-11-05T22:46:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\* > > 1. Rabbi Waxman was changed at some point. There was a panel where Rabbi Waxman was in Hell. I can’t document this, but I distinctly remember being shocked and amused by it.\*\* I remember that too…G-d said the magic words He says in every Jack Chick panel, “Depart from me into everlasting fire.”, and then Rabbi Waxman is being poked by pitchforks. I think it loses something this way. Before, you had to love the contrast…Rabbi Waxman in hell, while meanwhile, little Nathan was in heaven. The old way also answers the question in the title of the tract, “Where’s Rabbi Waxman?” ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/63 "2001-11-05T22:46:20Z")
I liked the line: > [@](#): > > Glorious Egypt was on God’s schedule for total devastation. **God’s to do List** 1. Create the world 2. Plant dinosaur bones to test faith of followers and see who gets My little joke 3. Have Noah build ark 4. Flood the Earth 5. 10:15am appointment - chat with Moses 6. Totally devastate Egypt 7. Son wants in the family business - find _something_ for him to do ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/64 "2001-11-05T22:46:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\*Erm…amused because Chick’s idea of Hell involved being poked by cute l’il devils with tiny pitchforks. \*\* Saying “HAW! HAW! HAW!”, no doubt. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/65 "2001-11-05T23:12:11Z")
> [@](#): > > _ **The Egyptians were terrified!** _ …And America has just declared war on terrorism. Watch out, **Jack Chick’s God** , our boy Shrub is coming for you. ---
**Author:** ![\_Uigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/e9a140/32.png) [@\_Uigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Uigi)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/66 "2001-11-05T23:22:55Z")
Mr. Jack T. Chick just needs to get this translated into… (what’s the language… Urdu?) the language of the Taliban and then drop plane loads of this stuff all across Afghastan. They’ll know they’re dealing with truly sincere religio-paths. ---
**Author:** ![\_Uigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/e9a140/32.png) [@\_Uigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Uigi)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/67 "2001-11-05T23:30:08Z")
Afghanistan… There. ---
**Author:** ![verti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c68b51/32.png) [@verti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verti)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/68 "2001-11-06T00:52:49Z")
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! HEEHEEHEE! _snarf_ Thank you, Dopers, for introducing me to the phenomenon that is CHICK-SHTICK! 🙂 _snicker_ ~verti _goes back into lurk-mode_ ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/69 "2001-11-06T00:54:55Z")
First off, I am not a “fundie,” although I too accept the Bible as the inspired Word of God (and in law libraries you’ll find it so defined in the dictionary-encyclopedia _Words and Phrases.) 🙂_ But the hellfire preaching of Jack Chick and his ilk repels me. I saw something similar one year when, with a friend, I attended a play at the Hope Chapel in Hermosa (the only time I’ve been there), which was fire-and-brimstone at its very worst. Interestingly, some commentators noticed that, once the Egyptian hieroglyphics were deciphered, there was no mention of the Israelites’ exodus from Egypt. Small wonder; the Egyptian chronicles were written and maintained by the Pharaohs and the priestly scribes. But a severe setback for Israel was certainly commemorated–the defeat by Pharaoh Shishak, or Sheshonk. This is mentioned in the Bible and was recorded by Shishak on the wall of his temple at Karnak. I find it as hard to accept the bellowing of preachers such as Jack Chick as those preachers might find it to accept the Biblical aside that Jesus himself was in “hell.” (Psalm 16:10; Acts 2:28-31) I got my first example of the hellfire concept, of all places, in John Steinbeck’s novel _Grapes of Wrath,_ when the Joads, in the California migrant-worker shanty town, encountered the “Jesus-lovers” (a blind woman said, “I can see you a-burinin.’ I can see the child in that gir’ls belly [Rose of Sharon, who later had a miscarriage] a-burnin’”). ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/70 "2001-11-06T01:07:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DocCathode \* > \*\*I maintain, based on Fenris unbelievable knowledge of all-things-comic-book, that he is the result of a secret lab experiment. Tissue samples from Stan Lee, Jack Kirby and others were mixed with crushed Philosopher’s Stone, glowing ooze from a cracked meteorite and printer’s ink. The mixture was then exposed to cosmic rays and the light from an oval TV showing Superman episodes. I, and I mean this as a sincere gesture of respect, bow to your wisdom. > \*\* **::Blushes::** Thanks! I checked, btw (There’s an interesting reference book called The World of Chick which discusses every known Chick comment and varients. Weirdly the author doesn’t mention the missing panel. And the author’s a kook (he believes in astrology (“Chick must be a jerk because he’s \ sign”) while mocking Chick. That said, though it’s the best reference work on Jack Chick out there. And it comes with 5 free Chick tracts, including one in Swahili!) Anyway from The World of Chick, “Where’s Rabbi Waxman” is even more disgusting than I’d rememembered > [@](#): > > Henry A. Waxman is a popular Democratic Congressman who is anti-smoking, pro-enviroment, anti-Whitewater, and Jewish. Waxaman has served 12 terms (1976-1997) as a U.S. Representative from California, representing Congressional District #29 (West Hollywood, Santa Monica), located within 50 miles from Chick Publications I suspect that the fact that Rep. Waxman is a liberal ljust puts more salt in Chick’s wounds. And on behalf of Republicans everywhere, let me say “Jack Chick does NOT speak for me.” The pamphlet is just disgusting. You’ve gotta wonder how Representative Waxman feels about it. If it were me, I might laugh at first, but after a while the accumulated hate would start to get creepy… Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/71 "2001-11-06T01:13:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\*And on behalf of Republicans everywhere, let me say “Jack Chick does NOT speak for me.” \*\* Same for many Christians as well. The next time I hear someone bitch about Christians having a bad reputation, I’ll start explaining the cause by pointing them in Jack Chick’s direction. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/72 "2001-11-06T01:27:55Z")
The problem is, you can also point to Phelps, Buchanan, Falwell… We’ve got _way_ too many loose canon rolling about the decks of the Good Ship Christianity these days. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/73 "2001-11-06T02:55:29Z")
I truly believe that there are more good Christians than bad. It’s just that you always remember the assholes. Same with customers. It’s the bad experiences that stick out. ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/74 "2001-11-06T04:06:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*Same for many Christians as well. The next time I hear someone bitch about Christians having a bad reputation, I’ll start explaining the cause by pointing them in Jack Chick’s direction. \*\* Indeed. But the vast majority of Christians I know would be appalled by his ideas. Like **Guin** said, you always remember the assholes. (Of course, the vast majority of Christians I know are also Catholic, and by Chick’s reckoning therefore not Christian at all. :rolleyes: ) (BTW, I think it’s creepy enough to have your surname appear in a Chick track when Jack doesn’t know you exist. I have the same name as the evil GM in “Dark Dungeons,” a fact which is both unsettling and amusing. :p) ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/75 "2001-11-06T04:16:40Z")
I should’ve known all along! Chick’s true goal is not to gain converts, but to discredit Christianity. I have no evidence whatsoever, but Occam is behind me on this one. Exactly what brand of Christianity does Jack endorse? I know he has ‘revealed’ as Satanists-Catholics, Jesuits, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Mormons. Is there a tract I missed entitled “Southern Baptists-The True Christians”? I find it useful to always carry a Chick tract. Whenever any fundie insists that I take their crap, I insist that they take mine. ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/76 "2001-11-06T04:20:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DocCathode \* > \*\*Exactly what brand of Christianity does Jack endorse? I know he has ‘revealed’ as Satanists-Catholics, Jesuits, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Mormons. \*\* Just FTR, the Jesuits are a Catholic order – in the Chickiverse, the ones running the Great Vatican Conspiracy. ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/77 "2001-11-06T04:39:19Z")
I think that [this](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0009/0009_01.asp) is definitely one of my favorites. The devil is… get ready… Colonel Sanders! Didn’t see that one coming, did you? Haw Haw Haw!! Actually I always suspected Colonel Sanders was the devil. [stuart mackenzie] I hated the colonel, with his wee, beady eyes! He puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave for it nightly. And that smug look on his face! “Oh, you’re gonna buy my chicken, oh yeah, ohhh” [/sm] LC ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/78 "2001-11-06T04:39:51Z")
Brief hijack for a return to the subject originally raised. I personally found this new work to be surprisingly lacking in lurid detail, with few of the mesmerisingly bad drawings of evil that are so prized by regular chick-lovers. Also the central bad character lacked the hideous demonic friends that I usually enjoy. However I was impressed that scenes from the Cecil B. De Mille version of “The Ten Commandments” were used as the basis for drawings so frequently. This of course adds to the realism of the tract, since we have so often seen the orginal scenes IN REAL LIFE!! Also highly prized were the teachers comments “Oh brother, how did I get into this?” and “What has this got to do with the ten commandments”, both of which were \*\*entirely accurate \*\* expressions of the thoughts of the reader. Well done, Jack! On the other hand, I admit to being shocked that a regular member of these boards seems to believe that the Harry Potter books are part of a witchcraft conspiracy. What nonsense, **vanilla**. Or to put it more elegantly, Oh brother, how did I get into this? Redboss ---
**Author:** ![MattTheCroc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/439d5e/32.png) [@MattTheCroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MattTheCroc)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/79 "2001-11-06T04:43:49Z")
For those interested, the “Dark Dungeons” MST3K thing can be found here: [http://www.fecundity.com/darkdung/setup.html](http://www.fecundity.com/darkdung/setup.html) Its setup is a tad weird though… I have to use the mouse wheel to see a whole page at the top. ---
**Author:** ![MattTheCroc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/439d5e/32.png) [@MattTheCroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MattTheCroc)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495/80 "2001-11-06T04:45:36Z")
For those interested, the “Dark Dungeons” MST3K thing can be found here: [http://www.fecundity.com/darkdung/setup.html](http://www.fecundity.com/darkdung/setup.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract-and-boy-is-it-a-doozy/91495.md?page=5)