# There's a new Jack Chick tract! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 18, 2001, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract/65778 "2001-05-18T01:29:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract/65778/81 "2001-05-22T21:56:46Z")
> [@](#): > > MeBuckner, > > So how does the Chickster explain away those bad ol’ divvil worshippers using a pentagram drawn on the floor? That’s certainly two-dimensional.! Monty, please, _please_ don’t ask me to try to get into Jack Chick’s head, m’kay? I mean, that would be like something out of an H.P. Lovecraft story–even if I could succeed in such a thing, I would doubtless go mad on the spot, and spend the rest of my life confined in a mental institution, raving about how the Vatican is really in thrall to the Elder Gods from beyond the stars. I just report the facts here–I don’t pretend to have any explanations. \*The horror… The horror…\* ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract/65778/82 "2001-05-22T22:31:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sassy \* > \*\* > I swear he’s worse that Chick, and he’s planning to run for President! See his campaign platform and be **very afraid**! \*\* But he’s a sixteen year old airhead. Did you look at his site?? He wants to run for President in 2020 because that’s when he’ll be eligible (35 years old). He was born in 1985, which makes him only 16. Besides, I found this on his website (on his FAQ page) which cracked me up! > [@](#): > > FAQ 10: Do you have a girlfriend? > > No but unlike the HELLBOUND homosexuals I have a good reason for that as I am waiting for the wife whom Jesus has promised to me in a dream. Amen. Her name is Alicia [last name deleted by Zev] and she currently resides in Empire Wisconsin and works in a fast-food restaurant so if anyone who is reading this lives in Empire Wisconsin please find Alicia for me as I do not have a car and her phone number is apparently unlisted. Amen. Give her my e-mail address [deleted by Zev]. Amen. Apparently, when “Jesus” promised Alicia to him, he forgot to pass along her phone number! D’oh! Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract/65778/83 "2001-05-22T23:44:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zev\_steinhardt \* > Apparently, when “Jesus” promised Alicia to him, he forgot to pass along her phone number! D’oh! > \*\* This kid’s a slacker, because if he had any sort of righteous ambition, he could surely find her number using the Bible Code. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract/65778/84 "2001-05-23T00:02:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > \*\* > Jack Chick is the Ron Popeil of fundamentalism. \*\* This is a wonderful line. After a year on the SDMB, more reading than posting, I have finally found a line I would like to use as a signature. May I please have your permission, oh slayer of Jack Chick tracts? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract/65778/85 "2001-05-23T21:29:39Z")
Zev said: [quote] But he’s a sixteen year old airhead. Did you look at his site?? He wants to run for President in 2020 because that’s when he’ll be eligible (35 years old). He was born in 1985, which makes him only 16. [quote] But what the Amen kid says is: > [@](#): > > I will still be few months shy of my 35th birthday on election day 2016 but my staff and i have concluded this will be an uphill battle and we can probably use the extra four years anyway. Amen. So, if he won’t be 35 yet in November 2016, then, according to my figures, he was probably born in about 1982 and is 19. He’s still an air-headed kid, but he’s already legal voting age :eek: (And who is this staff he keeps referring to? Didn’t his parents tell him he’d burn in hell for “consulting” his “staff”?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-jack-chick-tract/65778.md?page=4)