# There's a new person in your life: would you rather kiss or be kissed? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 28, 2010, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641 "2010-04-28T16:51:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/21 "2010-04-28T22:08:24Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > I’d rather be kissed, because I’m apparently a dumb ass girl. If you’re attracted to a guy and you let him slip through your fingers just because he won’t initiate the first kiss, then yes, I agree. Very dumb ass girl. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/22 "2010-04-28T23:04:49Z")
I’m apparently the only straight woman who likes to initiate! I like feeling in control of how far the physical bits will go, while if the fellow initiates too quickly, I will always have a little (sometimes very little, but still present) voice wondering how far he’ll try to push things and when I’m going to have to tell him no. Also I genuinely enjoy being the one to start things off – if I’m excited and into him, I want to let him know right then! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/23 "2010-04-29T02:38:35Z")
I’d much rather be kissed, but I’ll initiate if I have to. Although most of the time it’s a pretty mutual thing, IME. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/24 "2010-04-29T02:58:30Z")
Straight male. I’d rather she initiate it, though mostly because that would be a nice change of pace. So many women, it seems, feel like it’s kinda sorta the guy’s job, and since they’re Third Wave feminists, you know, they’re _allowed_ to wait for the guy to do it and there’s nothing wrong with being the type who’d rather the other person initiate it, buddy, and _how dare you_ suggest that… bleh. I’ll initiate it myself if that’s what needs to happen, especially since I tend to date shy girls, but I do like the feeling of having a girl make that move. Makes you feel wanted, you know? It’s flattering. EDIT: And I note that in every category of sexuality, people prefer the other person to make that first move. Apparently, most people like to not have to take that plunge. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/25 "2010-04-29T03:05:26Z")
I’d rather make the first kiss. I also generally make the first move in most respects (asking out, moving past kissing to sexual, etc.) Why? Because I’m impatient, and I don’t want to just moon about “does he want to or doesn’t he???”. Screw that, I’m gonna find out. Also, as long as I’m initiating things, I can control exactly what I’m ready for and what I’m not. I hate being pressured. ETA: Straight female ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/26 "2010-04-29T03:21:02Z")
I kind of like it when it’s a mutual go-for-it-at-the-same-time thing, but it really doesn’t matter. I don’t even remember which of us initiated my last first kiss, but it was a darn good one. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Not\_a\_Platypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@Not\_a\_Platypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_a_Platypus)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/27 "2010-04-29T04:05:13Z")
Bi Female, no real preference. I’ve been the kisser and the kissee and both are nice. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/28 "2010-04-29T05:15:52Z")
Kisses on the cheek, I like girls to initiate. Just don’t expect it to mean anything if I reciprocate. With on-lips kissing: I can’t forget my first attempt where I totally botched it, and the girl didn’t even seem to notice I was trying until much later. It was a welcome relief when one girl just flat out asked me to kiss her. But I’ve never experienced a girl who just kissed me. My guess is it would depend on whether I like her or not. If I like her, it’d probably be nice surprise, but, if I don’t… Oh, and no slobber like my fist kiss. I had to get a towel. Way to ruin a moment. ---
**Author:** ![palacheck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e57/32.png) [@palacheck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palacheck)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/29 "2010-04-29T05:21:20Z")
> [@SecondJudith](#): > > I’m apparently the only straight woman who likes to initiate! I like feeling in control of how far the physical bits will go, while if the fellow initiates too quickly, I will always have a little (sometimes very little, but still present) voice wondering how far he’ll try to push things and when I’m going to have to tell him no. Also I genuinely enjoy being the one to start things off – if I’m excited and into him, I want to let him know right then! So if I initiate the kiss too soon I might be a rapist? If you don’t have all the control it’s no fun? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/30 "2010-04-29T05:28:04Z")
Straight male. Let’s just be friends, k? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/31 "2010-04-29T11:48:50Z")
> [@palacheck](#): > > So if I initiate the kiss too soon I might be a rapist? If you don’t have all the control it’s no fun? That is nowhere near what she said, so tone down the hostility a notch or three, o.k.? ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/32 "2010-04-29T13:11:21Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > If you’re attracted to a guy and you let him slip through your fingers just because he won’t initiate the first kiss, then yes, I agree. Very dumb ass girl. But if he doesn’t initiate because he’s not into me, then how is that “letting him slip through my fingers?” Just because I’m attracted to someone doesn’t mean he’s attracted to me. Throwing yourself at someone who doesn’t like you in that way is a surefire way to kill the friendship. ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/33 "2010-04-29T13:46:10Z")
I’ll never initiate the first kiss again. I never ever want to hear someone I’m dating say, “She put a lip lock on me on the second date”… Guys love to brag. “She hit on me”, etc. Never again. ---
**Author:** ![Coil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Coil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coil)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/34 "2010-04-30T08:47:47Z")
Of the last 4 first kisses I think I initiated 3 of them. I voted that it doesn’t matter. As long as it happens I don’t care who started it. 🙂 (straight male) ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/35 "2010-04-30T12:36:20Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > If you’re attracted to a guy and you let him slip through your fingers just because he won’t initiate the first kiss, then yes, I agree. Very dumb ass girl. But what if you’re a dumb ass girl who can’t actually tell when the guy’s attracted to you? I mean, seriously? Cause that’s me. The boy had been dropping hints for about a month and a bit that he was attracted to me and I was totally oblivious. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641/36 "2010-04-30T13:19:13Z")
To me, it wouldn’t matter. In a perfect world, and with the right person, I’d put the Ipod in the speaker docking station & kiss her until the batteries run out. I know, I know, docking stations charge batteries. Ssssshhh! Hopefully she won’t figure that out for at Least an hour. _wink_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-new-person-in-your-life-would-you-rather-kiss-or-be-kissed/537641.md?page=1)