# "There's a place in France..." **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 13, 1999, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786 "1999-11-13T21:34:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/1 "1999-11-13T21:34:00Z")
Where did this supposedly Arabic song/melody come from? The words I learned as a kid went something like this: “There’s a place in France Where the women wear no pants. Stepped on banana peeling Flew up and hit the ceiling…” My older brother also came up with: “There’s a place on Mars where the women smoke cigars And the brand they smoke is enough to choke a goat…!” ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/2 "1999-11-13T21:51:00Z")
Dunno, but the version I learned as a kid went like this: There’s a place in France Where the naked ladies dance There’s a hole in the wall Where the men can see it all… ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/3 "1999-11-13T21:55:00Z")
Oh, you mean (attempting to spell the tune): “La-dee-DAH-da-da, La-dee-DAH-dee-Dah-dee-da” I have no idea. But I’d strongly suspect it’s from some old musical or play rather than a real Arabic source. ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/4 "1999-11-13T22:40:00Z")
Scottish actor/comic Billy Connolly told a story about when he was a paratrooper in the British Army on Cyprus. Apparently one of the rites of intoxication was to climb up on a table, drop trousers, clench one end of a long sheet of toilet paper in your butt cheeks, and have someone set fire to the other end. You dance seductively and slow, then all of a sudden frantically and much faster. Meanwhile all your mates gather about and sing that exotic tune; no words, just “lalala, la, la, lalalalalalala”. I don’t know what that all means, but it was so goddamn funny the way he told it I almost pissed myself. Here’s how I learned it: "All the girls-in-France take their clothing off and dance, But the boys don’t care, 'Cause they … " (I forget how that line goes.) ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/5 "1999-11-13T23:02:00Z")
Ooooo, I loved that song as a kid. These are the words that circulated on my playground: There’s a place in France Where the naked ladies dance There’s a hole in the wall Where the men can see it all But the men don’t care 'Cause they eat their underwear. These are the best song lyrics I’ve ever heard! Unfortunetly, I can’t provide any additional info on the tune. * * * Formerly “Melanie the Computer Idiot” ---
**Author:** ![Cactus\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Cactus\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cactus_Rose)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/6 "1999-11-13T23:06:00Z")
Somewhere in the song: And the way they shake It looks just like a snake. * * * - A rose by any other name would still have thorns - ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_Yanega](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5e925/32.png) [@Doug\_Yanega](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_Yanega)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/7 "1999-11-13T23:55:00Z")
Amazing. Everyone seems to have learned a different version. "When the girls in France Do the hula-hula dance well, they way they shake is enough to kill a snake When the snake is dead They put roses in its head When the roses die They put tulips in its eyes Um-diddle-iddle-iddle Um-diddle-eye Um-diddle-iddle-iddle Um-diddle-eye" ---
**Author:** ![NanoByte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@NanoByte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NanoByte)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/8 "1999-11-14T01:29:00Z")
Well, I remember it in the KISS form: Oh, they don’t wear pants In the southern part of France ? ? Ray ---
**Author:** ![Sycorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Sycorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sycorax)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/9 "1999-11-14T01:53:00Z")
All I recall is Oh the girls in France They don’t wear underpants. Hmmm…I get the idea French women are kinda slutty. ---
**Author:** ![Lawrence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Lawrence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lawrence)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/10 "1999-11-14T02:57:00Z")
The one I remember (Connecticut, about 1976) is: There’s a place called Mars Where the ladies smoke cigars Every puff they take Is enough to kill a snake When the snake is dead They put mustard on its head When the mustard cracks They put roaches on its back and so on. There was a lot more but I don’t remember it. Less lascivious than the other versions, to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![NanoByte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@NanoByte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NanoByte)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/11 "1999-11-14T03:39:00Z")
[http://www.thecore.com/~stortz/comedy/cds/drd1.html](http://www.thecore.com/~stortz/comedy/cds/drd1.html) “Dr. Demento Basement Tapes No. 1 \* \* \* 17.They Don’t Wear Pants in the Southern Part of France - John Bartles” See also: [http://www.drdemento.com/](http://www.drdemento.com/) [http://www.awn.com/mag/issue1.9/articles/frierson1.9.html](http://www.awn.com/mag/issue1.9/articles/frierson1.9.html) "Tim Burton’s ‘Vincent’–A Matter of Pastiche by Michael Frierson \* \* \* Scene by Scene The film opens as the camera follows a cat into an empty room where Vincent plays on his recorder a mournful version of “The Hoochie Kootchy Dance”–known to millions of children in its bastardized version by its opening line “Oh they don’t wear pants in the southern part of France.” [http://www.gajoob.com/reviews/b/61.html](http://www.gajoob.com/reviews/b/61.html) “John Bartles _Banal Fixations_” [http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Olympus/4420/706.html](http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Olympus/4420/706.html) "706 - Laserblast \* \* \* HOST SEGMENTS: \* \* \* “There’s a PLACE IN FRANCE…” - From the children’s playground song that begins, “There’s a place in France where the ladies don’t wear pants,” or “…where the naked ladies dance.” Subsequent lines vary depending on where you’re from. You’re welcome to send your versions; we be interested to see them. The music in the film’s score sounds like the first few notes of the “Place in France” melody. * * * I dunno where the tune came from. Is it maybe a gypsy thing? Ray (never even been to St.-Tropez) ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/12 "1999-11-14T03:49:00Z")
Late seventies, pah. Well, back in the nineteen fifties, in Philadelphia, the song went: All the girls in France Do the Hootchi Kootchi dance, They don’t even care If you see their underwear. 'Cause they don’t ever even wear 'em When they’re dancing in the harem . . . (The meter changes in the last too lines, obviously.) It was number one on the first grade boys hit parade. Even then, I did not think it was new. My mother assured me that she remembered a similar song from her youth, some time around the 1920’s. \

Tris\ ---

**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/13 "1999-11-14T04:00:00Z")
Oh, come on! It’s the instrumental introduction to Steve Martin’s “King Tut”. Geez, where you guys born yesterday? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Pixoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Pixoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixoid)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/14 "1999-11-14T04:37:00Z")
We sang this version to hand motions and everything (ah, the fourth grade hand games…). At the end, both people said, “FREEZE!” Whoever moved first lost. We also sang the SaxFace version, but at different times and different schools. I never really connected the two till now… ============ There’s a place on Mars Where the ladies smoke cigars And the men wear bikinis And the women suck zucchinis Every step they take They ki-ill a-a snake When the snake is dead They put mustard on its head When the mustard’s dried They put rubies in its eyes When the rubies break It’s the year of forty-eight. FREEZE! ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/15 "1999-11-14T04:50:00Z")
For versions of this and many other children’s rhymes, try the book _Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts: The Subversive Folklore of Childhood_ by Josepha Sherman and T. K. F. Weisskopf ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/16 "1999-11-14T15:01:00Z")
Here’s a variation I learned as a kid: There’s a place in France Where the alligators dance One didn’t dance So they shot him in the pants The pants that he wore Cost a dollar ninety-four PLUS TAX! ---
**Author:** ![krish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c57346/32.png) [@krish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/krish)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/17 "1999-11-14T15:08:00Z")
This is the version that I learned– There’s a place on Mars Where the ladies smoke cigars. Every step they take Is enough to kill a snake. If the snakes don’t die, Then they poke them in the eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/18 "1999-11-14T15:15:00Z")
My version: There’s a place on Mars where the women smoke cigars. Where the men wear bikinis and the children drink Martinis. ---
**Author:** ![Felinecare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Felinecare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Felinecare)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/19 "1999-11-14T20:04:00Z")
There’s a land called France Where the hula-girls dance And the way they shake It’s enough to kill a snake When the snake is dead They put roaches in his head When the roaches are dead They put diamonds in his EYES. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786/20 "1999-11-14T20:32:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh, come on! It’s the instrumental introduction to Steve Martin’s “King Tut”. Geez, were you guys born yesterday? No, we were singing the “girls wear no pants” lines at least four years before that. Respect your elders, sonny! Even old New York was once New Amsterdam. But we all knew that, right? Ok, never mind. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-place-in-france/4786.md?page=2)