# There's a Spider in my Bathroom. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 3, 2000, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268 "2000-06-03T05:42:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2000, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/21 "2000-06-04T23:28:18Z")
I find that a nice wingtip shoe works well on spiders. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2000, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/22 "2000-06-04T23:52:17Z")
Demo, you are the In Vino Veritas Poster Stud; you are funnier and make more sense when totally _blasted_ than many do stone-cold sober. I salute you for your peaceful coexistence w/ Pierre. But whatever ā€œinvestigatingā€ means, keep in mind that spiders bite, the bites hurt like hell and if Pierre is quivering now, ā€œheā€ wonā€™t like close examination of his private parts. (BTW, the hunching is spider ā€œthreat gestureā€.) A friend in FL had a huge, honking spider that lived in their enclosed porch. Being FL, they were prone to "palmetto bugs (aka roaches) the size of chihauhuas. They kept this godawful huge spider around to eat the bugs. I guess it was a useful symbiotic relationship, but that hulking sucker was _huge_; it could eat a Buick and spit out the bumpers. Okay, enough stallingā€¦I am irrationally terrified of spiders. Yes, I know itā€™s stupid. Iā€™ve gotten to the point that I wonā€™t kill a spider unless itā€™s in the bedroom. And thatā€™s because Iā€™m bite-prone. Honestly, Iā€™ll be a bitten mess when no ones else has a nibble. And even mosquito bites swell up to several inches across. Spider bites swell nearly to the size of ping-pong ball, hurt, burn and last for several weeks. Yes, spiders are infinitely preferable to poison sprays. But they arenā€™t my friends. One gets to slinking around my person, its compound eyes hungrily assessing my bloodstream and the sucker is swiftly stomped into goo. And the nightmarish things are _sneaky_. As Annie Dillard so aptly put it, ā€œBirds gotta fly, fish gotta swim but bugs just keep doing one revolting thing after another.ā€ Veb ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2000, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/23 "2000-06-05T01:03:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Demo, you are the In Vino Veritas Poster Stud; you are funnier and make more sense when totally blasted than many do stone-cold sober. Veb, thatā€™s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. Iā€™m almost ready to go kill Pierre in your honor! Almost. ::sniff sniff:: ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2000, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/24 "2000-06-05T01:07:51Z")
Thanks, and back at ya, Demo. Donā€™t sacrifice Pierre for me. Though he lives in the bathroom, right? Can Pierre _swim?_ Worried for Demoā€™s backside, Veb ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2000, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/25 "2000-06-05T02:40:16Z")
Maybe heā€™s a tub-antula? ---
**Author:** ![Wood\_Thrush](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b38774/32.png) [@Wood\_Thrush](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wood_Thrush)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2000, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/26 "2000-06-05T05:41:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I can count the number of times Iā€™ve been bitten by spiders on one hand. > \*\* On which hand have the spiders bitten you? Is it such a large number that it would impress us that you can count to it? ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2000, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/27 "2000-06-05T07:08:35Z")
> [@](#): > > Okay, enough stallingā€¦I am irrationally terrified of spiders. Yes, I know itā€™s stupid. Iā€™ve gotten to the point that I wonā€™t kill a spider unless itā€™s in the bedroom. And thatā€™s because Iā€™m bite-prone. Honestly, Iā€™ll be a bitten mess when no ones else has a nibble. And even mosquito bites swell up to several inches across. Spider bites swell nearly to the size of ping-pong ball, hurt, burn and last for several weeks. > > Yes, spiders are infinitely preferable to poison sprays. But they arenā€™t my friends. One gets to slinking around my person, its compound eyes hungrily assessing my bloodstream > and the sucker is swiftly stomped into goo. And the nightmarish things are sneaky. Smash that eight-legged bastard into the mush he belongs to be!!! Obviously some of you arenā€™t as prone to being bitten as the rest of us. If thereā€™s a skeeter within a mile, heā€™ll find me, bite me, Iā€™ll swell up, and itch for 3 weeks straight. Same goes for the damned spiders, except those bites are a bit worse as far as swelling and scabbing goes. -Sam ---
**Author:** ![Gatsby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df705f/32.png) [@Gatsby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatsby)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2000, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/28 "2000-06-05T08:57:07Z")
You people just donā€™t understand spidersā€¦ For the record, I remember having spider bites on three occasions. It was four or five bites each time. Iā€™m quite sure they took far less blood than the Red Cross does. And they performed a service for me in return. Cookies and juice donā€™t count. ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2000, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/29 "2000-06-06T17:16:55Z")
Anybody wanna see my brown-recluse-bite scar? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2000, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/30 "2000-06-06T18:31:11Z")
I dunno about the rest of the group, Myron, but I donā€™t want to see anything of yours thatā€™s brown and reclusive. ---
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/31 "2000-06-07T01:54:37Z")
I canā€™t believe you didnā€™t introduce me to Pierre on Saturday night, Dem. Are you ashamed to have him meet your human friends? šŸ™‚ Hah kidding. But I did see a very small spider in that guest bathroom of yoursā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/32 "2000-06-07T01:58:30Z")
HEY **myron** , got a wolf spider bite on my temple. šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/33 "2000-06-07T02:23:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I canā€™t believe you didnā€™t introduce me to Pierre on Saturday night, Dem. Are you ashamed to have him meet your human friends? šŸ™‚ > Hah kidding. But I did see a very small spider in that guest bathroom of yoursā€¦ > \*\* Yep, that was Pierre all right! I hope you were nice to him! šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/34 "2000-06-07T02:28:43Z")
I hope Pierre hangs out high in the bathroom, otherwise Nathan will find him very interesting indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/35 "2000-06-07T02:45:55Z")
Noooooooo! He lives on the floor! If your pet eats my pet, thereā€™s gonna be hell to pay! šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/36 "2000-06-07T03:04:55Z")
Iā€™m concerned at the amount of negativity poor Pierre is being subjected to here. As a result Iā€™m starting a fund to address the issue. Donations to the Appreciate Arachnoids In Demoā€™s Bathroom fund can be forwarded. Upon receipt of your donation you will receive a pamphlet on the application of spiders to both chaos theory and Heisenbergā€™s Principle of Uncertainty. T-Shirts will be available if demand warrants it. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Guapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/82dd89/32.png) [@El\_Guapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Guapo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/37 "2000-06-07T03:44:17Z")
You are only being lulled into pasivity Demo. Heā€™ll get you sooner or later. They are like that, viscious little things that they are. As far as I know, spiders are the only species in which all itā€™s members are poisonous. With a family history like that, it canā€™t be trusted. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/38 "2000-06-07T03:56:44Z")
El Guapo, I donā€™t think so. I can read people (and spiders) pretty well, and Pierre seems _genuinely_ interested in my welfare! Heā€™s killing ants right and left and keeping my toesies safe from ant bites while I, err, well you know. Update: It looks like Pierre is here to stay. He is currently constructing a web between the wall, the water valve to the toilet and the bowl brush holder. I just hope he doesnā€™t use the actual brush as an anchor for his web or else I will have to go buy a new one! ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/39 "2000-06-07T04:22:13Z")
Demo, you are a prince among men, a true humanitarian and a total loon. ::shuddering, remembering assorted webs in outhouses:: Yā€™see, your toes are safe from antsā€“like ants really _want_ themā€“while youā€™re sitting in a peculiarly exposed and vulnerable position, in immediate proximity to a lifeform sporting fangs, venom and a taste for blood. Demoā€¦_After Bite_; it comes in a white tube w/ orange lettering; looks like an oversized pen. Even has a little clip you can attach to your nerd pack or lab coat. It smells ammoniac, and stings at first, but itā€™s the best stuff around to numb the heat and itch of a bite. ::shielding eyes:: Veb ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/40 "2000-06-07T05:35:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Yā€™see, your toes are safe from antsā€“like ants really want themā€“while youā€™re sitting in a peculiarly exposed and vulnerable position, in immediate proximity to a lifeform sporting fangs, venom and a taste for blood. Yeah, but not _human_ blood. Unlessā€¦ Hey Demo, you might want to break out the magnifying glass and check Pierre for an itsy-bitsy cape and widowā€™s peak. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268.md?page=3)