# There's a Spider in my Bathroom. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 3, 2000, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268 "2000-06-03T05:42:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/41 "2000-06-09T01:34:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast, > Which thou wilt propagate, to have it prest > With more of thine: this love that thou hast shown > Doth add more grief to too much of mine own. > Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs; > Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers’ eyes; > Being vex’d a sea nourish’d with lovers’ tears: > What is it else? a madness most discreet, > A choking gall and a preserving sweet. ::sniff, sniff:: I have an announcement. Pierre is dead. I found him, nestled snuggly in his web, between the toilet brush holder and water shut off valve, with no breath of life in his cold breast. He looked so peaceful lying there, as if in wait for a passing ant to munch on. But no, his life has expired its term in this world. Memorial services will be postponed until I return home with psycat near the end of next week. Try not to be sad. Pierre had a caring, loving home, if only for a short while and he never missed an opportunity to feast on the abundant ant supply. I think he was happy here, while it lasted. We will miss you, Pierre. Au Revoir! ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/42 "2000-06-09T02:09:33Z")
I’m sorry to hear it ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/43 "2000-06-09T02:53:01Z")
::shakes head slowly in amazement:: Never did I anticipate this situation… Demo, deep sympathies on the death of your pet (shudder) spider. You must feel his loss deeply, every time you use the john. Just knowing that a fanged, venomous arachnid no longer lurks inches from your bare and otherwise occupied bottom must fill you with…well, grief, I guess. Bang the toilet brush slowly. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/44 "2000-06-09T03:27:45Z")
Did anyone else think of the song “There’s a Monster in My Pants” when they first read this thread title? It has that B52s guy singing…“There’s a monster in my pants, and it does a little dance; when it starts to move about, all the women start to shout…'Monster AH! Monster Aaaaooooh!” Anyhoo…spiders are awesome. The don’t bother me one bit; in fact I think they’re rather cute. I’m also very fond of snakes. 🙂 Ants, however, are the spawn of Satan, and cockroaches are his little crap bricks. Death to them ALL! Death death death! ---
**Author:** ![Gatsby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df705f/32.png) [@Gatsby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatsby)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/45 "2000-06-09T09:40:38Z")
My sincere sympathies, -Gatsby ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/46 "2000-06-09T09:51:26Z")
Fair winds and following seas, friend Pierre. We barely knew ye. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/47 "2000-06-09T10:27:06Z")
“and, when he shall die, Take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night And pay no worship to the garish sun.” –Romeo and Juliet, Act 3, scene ii “Adieu, and take thy praise with thee to heaven! Thy ignominy sleep with thee in the grave, But not remember’d in thy epitaph!” –King Henry IV, part 1, Act 5, scene iv “The rest is silence.” –Hamlet, Act 5, scene ii ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/48 "2000-07-23T00:27:44Z")
That was beautiful, DRY. ::sniff:: Well, I finally got around to scanning poor Pierre’s picture. [here](http://www.mindspring.com/~vincegonzales/pierre.jpg) it is. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/49 "2000-07-23T00:32:27Z")
Umm Demo, Here’s my former therapist’s phone number. I urge you to call him immediately! Ya goof! \< giggle \> ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/50 "2000-07-23T00:33:52Z")
Damn, he’s big. I didn’t know spiders were so fuzzy and blue. And such a long white body. ---
**Author:** ![Honkerman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e79b87/32.png) [@Honkerman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honkerman)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/51 "2000-07-26T03:01:59Z")
Has anyone bothered to try to figure out what type of spider Pierre is? What if it’s some sort of harmless spider that doesn’t bite humans? If it’s a daddy long legs, he’s got no problem. He may be one of the most poisonous spiders around, but he can’t bite through human skin. So if Pierre is some sort of spider along those lines, then he deserves to live. You won’t have to think about getting bitten, and he’ll clean up the place for you. Damn, I could use something along those lines, only bigger so it could really clean up my place. ---
**Author:** ![Revedge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecae2f/32.png) [@Revedge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revedge)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/52 "2000-07-26T03:55:57Z")
I can’t believe I followed the link to see a picture of a spider! I hate spiders! However, My sympathies on your great loss of your friend pierre. I hope that he left a legacy (egg sack) for you to enjoy in your sunset years. The pitter patter of many, many, tiny little feet can be a confort. ---
**Author:** ![Revedge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecae2f/32.png) [@Revedge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revedge)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/53 "2000-07-26T03:58:15Z")
make that: “…comfort.” If I could spell, I wouldn’t need a God domn spell checker! ---
**Author:** ![Revedge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecae2f/32.png) [@Revedge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revedge)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/54 "2000-07-26T04:00:12Z")
See! ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/55 "2000-07-26T04:31:39Z")
Why…why…::sniff::… I feel so _honored_! Thanks! I know Pierre is looking down on us from Spider Heaven and smiling (with those blood sucking fangs of his). 😉 BTW, the kids found a new spider in that same bathroom just this morning. Maybe Pierre _was_, indeed, a Pierrette! ---
**Author:** ![DaveoRad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@DaveoRad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaveoRad)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/56 "2000-07-26T04:58:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lux Fiat \* > \*\*Democritus: He sexes spiders. \*\* It’s easier than you might think, at least with tarantulas. My zebra tarantula (“Zimbabwe, the Delightful Tarantula”), like all female tarantulas, had a large abdomen, no palpal bulbs, and no mating hooks on her first legs. In smaller or “true” spiders, I don’t know whether any of this is true, though the male tends to be smaller, and sometimes of a different coloration, than the female. When Zimbabwe died in 1997, I preserved her in alcohol. (That’s rubbing alcohol, so all of you looking for an exotic tequila-worm-like treat will have to look elsewhere.) ---
**Author:** ![taliesin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@taliesin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taliesin)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/57 "2000-07-26T06:50:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Democritus \* > \*\* > > Well, I finally got around to scanning poor Pierre’s picture. [here](http://www.mindspring.com/~vincegonzales/pierre.jpg) it is. \*\* Dood! Woulda mop your floor for crissakes! Yuck! ---
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/58 "2000-07-26T07:25:20Z")
[QUOTE] Dood! Woulda mop your floor for crissakes! Yuck!QUOTE] Taliesin: you obviously dont know Democritus very well ;). I’ve been in that bathroom, and it’s immaculate! BTW: are you the same Taliesin on the conlang list? ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/59 "2000-07-26T16:13:31Z")
Thanks for backing me up there, bro. And yes, Taliesin, I do try to keep an immaculate house but I didn’t want to hurt poor little Pierre there with my caustic cleaning agents. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268/60 "2000-07-26T17:05:46Z")
I, too, am tolerant of spiders. In fact, I like them. My daughter, who tries to be tolerant of me, left me this note one morning: Dear Mom, There are three spiders in the bathroom. Would you please remove two of them? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-a-spider-in-my-bathroom/21268.md?page=4)