Not to worry, she’ll lay the eggs and go away. In 2-3 months cute little babies will pop out and wander off. They won’t live in your crawl space or eat your pets. Mom will not be back to see them.
…but what is she standing on?
There’s no doubt from the shots it’s a Common Snapping Turtle.
Don’t try to touch her and you’ll be fine. She will soon enough disappear.
Interesting that the photo in the Wiki article is from Ottawa. It also says:
Somehow I did not know this. I doubt I’ll be getting as close to them again (with the dog) as I previously was.
I’ve hand-carried an injured wild snapper (which had been struck a glancing blow by a car) into the office of our exotic vet. How did I do so?
VERY carefully.
Hey, it could have been worse :).
Or MUCH worse :p.
I see what you did there. Bravo!
I saw the movie that second link is from, at a Godzilla and Friends Film festival. It was actually a pretty good movie, some humor and a couple of really touching scenes.
Then he should be duly named Tony the Turtle.
That mother is very old too, going by the size. You can measure the shell and judge the age with a formula I don’t remember.
I move turtles from the park road here usually in June when they lay eggs. I pick them up by the side of the shell and hold they with the tail pointing down and slightly away. Otherwise, they will pee all over you.
According to a children’s reptile book I read to my son, you can count the rings on the edge of the shell to estimate the age.
So go rub her chin a little to calm her down, and then count her rings and report back. 
Please o please kill it before it lays pigeon eggs.
Oh, she’s an old one! I believe when they get up in age, the carapace gets quite smooth. I think they are laying late this year in some areas because of the long wet spring (here in the midwest, at least.)
I had a big snapper in my front yard a couple of weeks ago. I coaxed her onto a piece of carpet, then dragged her down and across the road to a field, her magic carpet ride. I would have let her be, except I have three cats that were extremely interested in her and I didn’t want any of them to get bitten.
I’ve picked snapping turtles off the road by the shell before, but those rear claws look like they can do some damage; not to mention the beaky mouth. If you get one riled up enough, you can get them to latch onto a stick and drag them out of harm’s way.
They like to lay thier eggs in sandy soil at an elevation that will not be submerged in the event of high water. They also go wandering when they find themselves in a body of water that is drying up.
Just the thing for keeping those pesky neighborhood kids out of your yard. I get a lot of turtles too but they’re the common box turtles. Those kind don’t keep kids out of your yard, they attract them.
runs off to find mean old snapping turtle
We found one in our yard recently, here’s the link.
Yes, that is my spouse doing what is NOT recommended, picking it up, but he’s worked a pet store and rehabbed wild animals so let’s just say he’s a little more knowledgeable than the average redneck when it comes to handling wild animals. A local herpetologist estimated ours was 35-40 years old (and a girl).
Yep, they’re wandering around and breeding late. Don’t provoke 'em and you’ll be alright. Mama turtle will move on after laying her eggs. If it’s a papa then it will just follow the mamas back to the pond.
I think I found a turtle nest in the back yard but I’m not sure. I’m just not disturbing that bit, and if baby snappers pop out in a couple months I’ll relocate them to a more hospitable area. Assuming the local predators don’t get to them first.
I had to go searching, but, from 2003, Master Wang-Ka’s most eloquent discourse on the nature of snapping turtles.
That’s a nice cooter ya got there.
Great, I’m heading up to Marquette for Tour da UP soon – by that time it might be where I’m bicycling.
I’ll keep an eye out.
Brian
p.s. Can anyone ID this turtle?
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150209371154536&set=a.10150209369154536.326739.785504535&type=1&theater