# There's an ant in my keyboard. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 8, 2006, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593 "2006-07-08T03:31:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/1 "2006-07-08T03:31:29Z")
There’s a bunch of small black ants living in my back yard. Apparently, some of them have recently moved into my apartment. I don’t mind them, actually I like them. It’s kind of nice having some company in here. Now and then, one or two of them crawl across my desk. They usually seem pretty good at staying out of trouble. However, one of the little guys just crawled into my keyboard, between the “i” and “o” keys. Actually, it’s been a while now, and I haven’t seen the poor fella get back out. Surely, it must be a pretty hostile environment in there. Do I have to unscrew the whole keyboard to save him? To be honest, I’m not sure if I can be arsed. What’s the risk of me killing him by typing? How long can he sustain himself on the bread crumbs and coffee that I’ve been dropping in there? What do you think I should do? I’m starting to get a bit worried about this… ---
**Author:** ![Spongemom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Spongemom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spongemom)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/2 "2006-07-08T03:59:19Z")
Compressed air. It’ll be the ride of his life. ---
**Author:** ![CoBa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@CoBa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoBa)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/3 "2006-07-08T04:43:27Z")
There is a pretty low chance of killing him while typing. Most keys don’t touch the bottom of the keyboard when you type. It is also possible that the lil’ fella crawled out while you were not looking. ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/4 "2006-07-08T19:32:16Z")
> [@Captain Battery Acid](#): > > There is a pretty low chance of killing him while typing. Most keys don’t touch the bottom of the keyboard when you type. It is also possible that the lil’ fella crawled out while you were not looking. Nitpick: Li’l lady. ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/5 "2006-07-08T21:33:31Z")
Do you have a saxophone? Hit the keyboard with it as you play the theme from The Pink Panther. OK, there’s an old joke something along the lines of this: What did the Pink Panther say after he sprayed an anthill with Raid? Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant, deeeaaaad aaant! Actually, I like ants too and won’t normally hurt 'em. ---
**Author:** ![mrald](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mrald](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrald)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/6 "2006-07-08T21:34:48Z")
Have you ever noticed that ants smell funny? ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/7 "2006-07-08T22:57:30Z")
Why do I have this feeling the next post from **Peak Banana** ’s name will be something along the lines of “give us sugar pleese more sugar send lots of suger we requir sugar leive the sugar dish uncoverred when you go tobed”? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/8 "2006-07-08T23:27:09Z")
> [@gabriela](#): > > Nitpick: Li’l lady. I thought they’d be workers, aka drones. I’ve been on the wrong side of ignorance fighting lately. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/9 "2006-07-08T23:45:24Z")
You must hire Ninjas. Nobody else will be willing to go in after him. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/10 "2006-07-09T00:19:08Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I thought they’d be workers, aka drones. > I’ve been on the wrong side of ignorance fighting lately. 🙂 IIRC, in most ant species the **workers** are sterile females, and the **drones** are males and do no work. Drones typically only emerge in the early spring for a brief mating flight with the queens (fertile females), then die off rapidly, leading to a few days each spring when everything seems to be crawling with crippled winged ants. However, I don’t study insects and there’s a lot of variety in ant species, so check out info on your own local ants. mischievous ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/11 "2006-07-09T01:48:36Z")
> [@mischievous](#): > > Drones typically only emerge in the early spring for a brief mating flight with the queens (fertile females), then die off rapidly, So they hang around drinking beer, get laid and die. Hmph. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/12 "2006-07-09T01:53:58Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > So they hang around drinking beer, get laid and die. > Hmph. I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. \. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/13 "2006-07-09T01:55:57Z")
You could train an [echidna](http://www.ryanphotographic.com/images/JPEGS/Echidna%20copy.jpg) to extract the ant with it’s tongue. Just make sure it has eaten **lots** of ants beforehand. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/14 "2006-07-09T02:30:45Z")
You could always send a spider in after it. But then you’d need a bird to catch the spider… and a cat to get the bird… Just get a new keyboard. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/15 "2006-07-09T02:50:00Z")
> [@mrald](#): > > Have you ever noticed that ants smell funny? You would, too, if you were full of formic acid. ---
**Author:** ![audiobottle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@audiobottle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audiobottle)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/16 "2006-07-09T03:02:30Z")
Ant’s are pretty impressive. There was (is?) one in my coworker’s monitor. We verified that it was behind the glass, but we couldn’t figure out how it got there. It was one of the teeny tiny ones. I kept expecting it to be hidding behind the windows and stuff. ---
**Author:** ![audiobottle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@audiobottle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audiobottle)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/17 "2006-07-09T03:32:11Z")
> [@audiobottle](#): > > Ant’s are pretty impressive. Let’s just pretend that ’ in the middle of ants is an ant as well. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/18 "2006-07-09T03:48:55Z")
Stay with me here: Ant in the keyboard. Ant in the machine. Aunt in the machine. My aunt died, so my dead aunt is in the machine. I have a ghost in the machine. I like the Police. Where’s my copy of _Synchonicity_? Tripler That is all. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-an-ant-in-my-keyboard/363593/19 "2006-07-09T13:23:08Z")
> [@don't ask](#): > > You could train an [echidna](http://www.ryanphotographic.com/images/JPEGS/Echidna%20copy.jpg) to extract the ant with it’s tongue. Just make sure it has eaten **lots** of ants beforehand. A **Ninja** Echidna!