# There's been a murder... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 30, 2012, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130 "2012-01-30T00:43:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/21 "2012-01-30T14:56:59Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Columbo only works because he knows the criminal beforehand. Note that in all episodes, the audience knew the killer first; without that knowledge, it would just look like Colombo was picking on some random person and harassing them. He was superb at tripping up a suspect into revealing himself, but had no track record for finding an unknown subject. I feel like I’m getting whooshed here, but (a) Columbo, not being in the audience, didn’t get to watch the murderer strike; most of his track record involved reconstructing events the rest of us had already seen play out. And despite that, (b) there were a number of episodes where the audience didn’t get to see whodunit, at which point Columbo showed up to ferret out the killer’s identity as usual. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/22 "2012-01-30T15:10:48Z")
Sam Vimes. Yes, even in the modern world. ---
**Author:** ![Hogfather65](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7bcc69/32.png) [@Hogfather65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogfather65)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/23 "2012-01-30T15:26:29Z")
monk or Vimes - either would do it… ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/24 "2012-01-30T15:35:06Z")
Charles Bronson. The mystery might not get solved, but goddammit, shit would get _done._ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/25 "2012-01-30T15:42:39Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Or Jim Rockford to go fishing with, and because he’d know where to get the best tacos for breakfast. And besides, Lance White already brought the crook to justice. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Bredin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@John\_Bredin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Bredin)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/26 "2012-01-30T17:07:50Z")
> [@Civil\_Guy](#): > > …And the OP lets out all of the ones who did their best work when playing off against their sidekicks, and certainly all of the crime-fighting teams. [Snip.] Poirot is mostly disqualified. Sherlock Holmes without Watson? …well, maybe. > > Miss Marple? Any of the current British detectives? Poirot without Cap’t Hastings would probably do a lot better than Holmes without Dr. Watson. There’s plenty of Poirot mysteries without Hastings – he didn’t have Hastings with him on the Orient Express. As to Miss Marple, I think she’d do just fine figuring out who committed the crime but would have a hard time getting the police to believe her and not dismiss her as a nosy old biddy. In the stories, the local police would listen to her because they received a telephone call from Sir Somebody-or-Other, her dear old friend at Scotland Yard. 🙂 Which leads to a question about our scenario: do the police know – and believe --that you’ve brought a fictional detective to life? In other words, do they know this really IS Miss Marple, or do they have to be convinced she isn’t a crazy old lady who’s read too much Christie? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/27 "2012-01-30T17:14:33Z")
Luther. ---
**Author:** ![Meurglys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/258eb7/32.png) [@Meurglys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meurglys)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/28 "2012-01-30T17:22:02Z")
Rebus ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/29 "2012-01-30T18:00:03Z")
Lord Peter Wimsey. Even without Bunter to lay out his trousers and take crime scene photos, Lord Peter will get it done. Without using a mass spectrometer, just a monocle. StG ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/30 "2012-01-30T19:25:56Z")
[Andy Barker](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Barker,_P.I.) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/31 "2012-01-30T23:53:47Z")
> [@John\_Bredin](#): > > Which leads to a question about our scenario: do the police know – and believe --that you’ve brought a fictional detective to life? In other words, do they know this really IS Miss Marple, or do they have to be convinced she isn’t a crazy old lady who’s read too much Christie? 😛 The rozzers will accept any competent help, having no other means of catching the killer. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/32 "2012-01-30T23:59:00Z")
Sipowicz. If you let him use the phonebook. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/33 "2012-01-31T00:04:43Z")
Kay Scarpetta. She’s the only one who can deal directly with the DB. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Cartoonacy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/848f3c/32.png) [@Cartoonacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartoonacy)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/34 "2012-01-31T00:11:02Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > Batman Absolutely. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130/35 "2012-01-31T10:46:25Z")
Brother Cadfael Si [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-been-a-murder/611130.md?page=1)