# There's no belittling going on here. **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [March 31, 2020, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722 "2020-03-31T06:42:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/1 "2020-03-31T06:42:18Z")
“It’s an off-topic post, not a threadshit. […] There’s no belittling going on here.” [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=892876](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=892876) And I don’t mean to belittle [Engineer Comp Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php) when I write that that was just wrong. And that when you are moderating, it is seldom a good idea to explain your motivation. Explaining moderation, in somebody else’s thread, makes you look like you need approval, exposes the weaknesses of your reasoning, and invites disagreement like this. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/2 "2020-03-31T06:58:56Z")
No. You’re wrong and ECG was bang on. I don’t see what your complaint even is. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/3 "2020-03-31T07:37:43Z")
Granted, **jtur88** was rather tangential there, but not entirely off-the-wall. At least his post was on the subject of divorce, or lack thereof. Tangentially off-topic posts are common around here, and are most often simply ignored – neither modded nor responded to by subsequent posters. Why should this have been different? I don’t exactly understand the flurry of snarky responses to this post. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/4 "2020-03-31T09:00:12Z")
Did I miss something? ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/5 "2020-03-31T09:28:48Z")
Oh, I see. The OP’s question was “Did that happen with any of you?”, and I said “No”, 22 minutes after someone else said essentially the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/6 "2020-03-31T12:49:21Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Oh, I see. > > The OP’s question was “Did that happen with any of you?”, and I said “No”, 22 minutes after someone else said essentially the same thing. The “that” was changing your mind about who was the bad guy in a divorce, not divorce itself. The poster who commented before you was commenting about being wrong about who they thought the villain was in a divorce, in a similar position to the OP. Not like your post at all. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/7 "2020-03-31T12:55:52Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Oh, I see. > > The OP’s question was “Did that happen with any of you?”, and I said “No”, 22 minutes after someone else said essentially the same thing. Nah the OP was about people’s thoughts on their parents divorces and yours was a completely irrelevant point about your married parents. Basically your post came off as “nanny nanny boo boo, my parents are still married!” ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/8 "2020-03-31T13:39:57Z")
Q: Does anyone here have any experience with young children learning to use prosthetic limbs? I have a friend whose 5-year-old daughter recently had both legs amputated. It’s obviously very stressful for them and I’m looking for any insights and advice that I can offer. A: I just had a pedicure. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/9 "2020-03-31T15:24:56Z")
For me it’s like a thread asking people what their favorite flavor of ice cream is, and you post to say you don’t like ice cream. If you don’t want to/can’t participate in the thread, then don’t. On the other hand it’s not thread shitting. A thread shit post would have attacked the OP for criticizing the husband of the friend and going off on how women are always viewed too sympathetically when marriages end. Something that was likely to derail the thread. The post from **jtur88** was easily ignored and probably would have been if it weren’t for the junior modding. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/10 "2020-03-31T15:32:25Z")
FTR, I absolutely read jtur’s post as being smug about his parents’ marriage in a thread for adult children of divorce and meets my bar for threadshitting. But riding hajario’s ass about ‘junior modding’ :rolleyes: is just some penny ante bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/11 "2020-03-31T16:03:52Z")
I actually have no idea what the actual complaint here is, or how the moderation was “just wrong.” > [@Melbourne](#): > > And that when you are moderating, it is seldom a good idea to explain your motivation. Explaining moderation, in somebody else’s thread, makes you look like you need approval, exposes the weaknesses of your reasoning, and invites disagreement like this. This is absurd. **engineer\_comp\_geek** explained why the posts he referenced deserved moderation. He said nothing about his “motivation.” It’s always a good idea to explain why you are moderating a post. Not doing so invites ATMB threads asking why a post was moderated. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/12 "2020-03-31T16:25:25Z")
I’m not a mod, and my opinion is probably irrelevant since two mods have answered, but I don’t think it was a threadshit, just a clueless post by someone who didn’t read the OP. I also thought **eng\_comp\_geek’s** moderation was spot on and I appreciate moderators explaining the reasoning for their decisions. I don’t think **Melbourne** has a complaint here. ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/13 "2020-03-31T17:21:46Z")
> [@pool](#): > > Nah the OP was about people’s thoughts on their parents divorces and yours was a completely irrelevant point about your married parents. Basically your post came off as “nanny nanny boo boo, my parents are still married!” FWIW, that’s the way it came across to me, also. A smug threadshit. ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2020, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/14 "2020-04-01T01:08:50Z")
> [@Melbourne](#): > > And that when you are moderating, it is seldom a good idea to explain your motivation. Explaining moderation, in somebody else’s thread, makes you look like you need approval, exposes the weaknesses of your reasoning, and invites disagreement like this. That’s a strong assertion. I happen to believe the exact opposite. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2020, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/15 "2020-04-01T05:35:06Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Q: Does anyone here have any experience with young children learning to use prosthetic limbs? I have a friend whose 5-year-old daughter recently had both legs amputated. It’s obviously very stressful for them and I’m looking for any insights and advice that I can offer. > > A: I just had a pedicure. More like: Q: Does anyone here have any experience with young children learning to use prosthetic limbs? A: I never had to go though this. My son almost lost his leg in an accident. It was touch and go for a while, but they were able to save it. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2020, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/16 "2020-04-01T08:40:21Z")
Count me as another person who saw it as smug and a threadshit. > [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > More like: > > Q: Does anyone here have any experience with young children learning to use prosthetic limbs? > > A: I never had to go though this. My son almost lost his leg in an accident. It was touch and go for a while, but they were able to save it. No, it would be more like just replying “My son still has both his legs after 30 years”. \*\*jtur \*\*didn’t provide any more information like “My parents were always bickering but…” or “My dad moved out once but…” . He in no way related his parents’ marriage length to divorce other than by omission, unlike your version of the analogy. ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2020, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/17 "2020-04-01T11:21:37Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > More like: > > Q: Does anyone here have any experience with young children learning to use prosthetic limbs? > > A: I never had to go though this. My son almost lost his leg in an accident. It was touch and go for a while, but they were able to save it. This very well could be the worst analogy in the history of the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2020, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/18 "2020-04-01T12:42:39Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > More like: > > Q: Does anyone here have any experience with young children learning to use prosthetic limbs? > > A: I never had to go though this. My son almost lost his leg in an accident. It was touch and go for a while, but they were able to save it. First, even if that were an analogous response, it’s still as useless a post as the one being discussed here, since it didn’t answer the question in the hypothetical OP. The actual OP was asking about if anyone ever changed their mind about who was the villain in a divorce, and the post in question provided zero connection to that question. Second, this is not even an analogous post since the one being discussed provided no context, explanation, or why it was relevant to the OP. At least your example tried to connect it to the topic of your hypothetical OP. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2020, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-belittling-going-on-here/850722/19 "2020-04-01T19:38:51Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > First, even if that were an analogous response, it’s still as useless a post as the one being discussed here, since it didn’t answer the question in the hypothetical OP. The actual OP was asking about if anyone ever changed their mind about who was the villain in a divorce, and the post in question provided zero connection to that question. First-and-a-half: the poster in question has previously flat-out stated that his raison d’être is to be contrarian.