# There's no fucking Vegemite. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 8, 2008, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975 "2008-10-08T11:51:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/41 "2008-10-08T21:18:03Z")
It is legal in Australia to fuck vegemite? That explains its nasty taste. ---
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/42 "2008-10-08T21:43:55Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > It is legal in Australia to fuck vegemite? Only if you spread it on a sheep first. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/43 "2008-10-08T21:47:24Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I have never had Vegemite. > > The only time I ever found it in a mainstream grocery store here in Canada, it was filed with the _cleaning supplies_, apparently because no-one knew what it was. I know about it mostly from the SDMB. > > Am I missing anything? You should consider yourself lucky. Vegemite is the most vile and horrible concoction of ā€œfoodā€ that has ever been created. ---
**Author:** ![Electrical\_Storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac8455/32.png) [@Electrical\_Storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electrical_Storm)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/44 "2008-10-08T22:11:04Z")
Never had any one of them. But youā€™ve inspired me (vegemite fucking and nailing jello to a tree notwithstandingā€¦) to give it a shot. Which should I try first and what should I expect? I donā€™t eat a lot of salt or sugar to begin with. I lost about thirty or so pounds over the last few months and though I watch what I eat pretty carefully, Iā€™m up for trying new things in moderation. Iā€™ll post my - er - experiences when Iā€™ve tried them. If I decide to fuck the vegemite youā€™ll thank me to leave those details out, Iā€™m sure. šŸ˜ƒ Which one should I try first? Any brand I should look for? Thereā€™s a few places around here (I live in a large metro area) Iā€™m certain I could get at least a couple of these. ::readies to go to the store:: ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/45 "2008-10-08T22:14:05Z")
> [@bathsheba](#): > > This is why you canā€™t get a woman. Such are the magical powers of substances of Mite? I might just have to try this stuff that I hear tastes like a combination of roadkill and shoe polish. ---
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/46 "2008-10-08T22:14:55Z")
> [@Electrical\_Storm](#): > > Which should I try first and what should I expect? 1. Marmite. 2. An explosion of taste so powerful that it will knock your socks off, and possibly down the street. Just remember to spread it extremely thinly, and I really canā€™t stress that enough, _extremely_ thinly, on hot buttered toast. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/47 "2008-10-08T22:30:52Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Looking for a late-night snack, I bunged a couple of bits of bread in the toasterā€¦got the butter out for the initial spread, and then found thereā€™s NO FUCKING VEGEMITE to appease my salty need! > > I tell you whatā€¦thereā€™s nothing more apt to send me into a morose depression than not finding a jar of vegemite on the shelf! > fuck First Global Warming then the world economic crisis,flooding in Bangla Desh and now this,the last and worst of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I never thought when I was a nipper that one day I would grow up to see literaly hell on Earth. May god help us all. ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/48 "2008-10-08T22:34:46Z")
> [@Szlater](#): > > 1. Marmite. > > 2. An explosion of taste so powerful that it will knock your socks off, and possibly down the street. > > Just remember to spread it extremely thinly, and I really canā€™t stress that enough, _extremely_ thinly, on hot buttered toast. Take those socks, put them back on and wear them for 4 days in your old tennis shoes. Then remove shoes wrap the socks in dirty underwear and go for a walk along a recently paved street making sure to traipse through some dog urine. Then soak those socks in stale beer and wring them out into a cat litter box. Take the resulting mixture and spread on toast. That is what to expect from vegemite. Iā€™ve never tried Marmite so I canā€™t comment as far as that goes. ---
**Author:** ![Electrical\_Storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac8455/32.png) [@Electrical\_Storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electrical_Storm)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/49 "2008-10-08T22:40:46Z")
> [@Szlater](#): > > 1. Marmite. > > 2. An explosion of taste so powerful that it will knock your socks off, and possibly down the street. > > Just remember to spread it extremely thinly, and I really canā€™t stress that enough, _extremely_ thinly, on hot buttered toast. Thanks, **Szlater**! Marmite, got it. Iā€™ll pick some up and give it a try. Iā€™ll post about it after I retrieve my socks from the neighborā€™s roof and come stumbling back up the street. šŸ˜ƒ On the rare occasion I do eat butter, I use the fake margarine low-cal, no-fat stuff. Will that make a difference or does it need to be real butter? I have a feeling I should be nervous about eating this stuff. I donā€™t know whatā€™s in it. Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Here goes! ---
**Author:** ![DellieM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@DellieM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DellieM)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/50 "2008-10-08T22:50:36Z")
Love it. Raised on it! Eat it straight from the jar. With a teaspoon! And have discovered that a good heaped teaspoon after a heavy night on the juice will lessen any horrible hangover (something to do with the vitamin B I suppose). Itā€™s awesome and delicious and gives the eater of it super powers. Or the next day as you reach for the panadol, have yourself two thick slices of toast liberally spread with it, washed down with black tea. Hmmmmmmm. Vegemite ā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/51 "2008-10-08T22:54:07Z")
> [@Electrical\_Storm](#): > > On the rare occasion I do eat butter, I use the fake margarine low-cal, no-fat stuff. Will that make a difference or does it need to be real butter? Using margarine will downgrade the taste explosion somewhat. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/52 "2008-10-08T23:02:18Z")
When I was first on The Internet, some American friends had never tasted vegemite. So, being very kind, I sent them some. One deliberately dropped it so she wouldnā€™t have to eat it. Another kept it so long. It did go off. Yet another used to put it on her kids tongues if they swore. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2008, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/53 "2008-10-09T00:25:02Z")
> [@Rack-a-Bones](#): > > You should consider yourself lucky. Vegemite is the most vile and horrible concoction of ā€œfoodā€ that has ever been created. Sir, I think you just declared war. ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2008, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/54 "2008-10-09T00:46:30Z")
> [@UnwrittenNocturne](#): > > Sir, I think you just declared war. OK. To be fair it has been years and years since I tried it. Dellie says it will cure hangovers, so solely in the noble pursuit of Education I will get drunk and have some vegemite tonight. (hey, that rhymes!) Hypothesis: This will not end well. Results to be published tomorrow. ETA: Actually, to do this right Iā€™ll need a control. So Iā€™ll have to get drunk w/o vegemite first, record how I feel, then do another study with vegemite and note the differences. Maybe I should wait for Friday as I picture this having a negative impact on my productivity at work. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2008, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/55 "2008-10-09T01:31:41Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Looking for a late-night snack, I bunged a couple of bits of bread in the toasterā€¦got the butter out for the initial spread, and then found thereā€™s NO FUCKING VEGEMITE to appease my salty need! > > I tell you whatā€¦thereā€™s nothing more apt to send me into a morose depression than not finding a jar of vegemite on the shelf! > fuck You can have all the jars in my house, they smell nasty and taste worse. Course, my husband would notice. Ugh. Then Iā€™d have to buy more. Nevermind, Iā€™ll continue nose-holding during breakfast. šŸ˜ƒ Cheers, G ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2008, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/56 "2008-10-09T02:37:50Z")
> [@Szlater](#): > > Using margarine will downgrade the taste explosion somewhat. Hmm. I do have real butter. However, Marmite on a cracker under a piece of cheddar cheese was delicious. ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2008, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/57 "2008-10-09T02:57:25Z")
Use real butter. Margarine is not fit for human consumption. Ever since I arrived in the US Iā€™ve been mystified by the lack of adding butter to bread here ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2008, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/58 "2008-10-09T03:12:52Z")
I had the pleasure of living next door to a New Zealand couple for a couple of years back in the 1980s. They were very nice folks and we got along great, partied together and all that. They like Olivia Newton-John a little much for my taste, though. They introduced me to vegamite at a New Yearā€™s party one night. They said it was Australian for peanut butter. Nuh uh! I couldnā€™t drink enough Fosterā€™s to wash the taste outtaā€™ my mouth! You people are daft, I tell you, daft! ---
**Author:** ![Cider\_Depot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Cider\_Depot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cider_Depot)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2008, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/59 "2008-10-09T03:32:49Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > It is legal in Australia to fuck vegemite? There is an Australian euphemism about _drilling for vegemite_, but I donā€™t think it refers to the same thing šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2008, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975/60 "2008-10-09T03:56:18Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > We have noted that you have no vegemite in your pantry. Please turn in your Australian citizenship card and move on to some other place that will accept ā€˜your kindā€™ of people. We donā€™t have any either. On purpose. You canā€™t have my citizenship, and you will get some into my pantry over my cold dead body. Suck it. > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > True. And thereā€™s no nailing Jell-O to a tree either. Well, yanno, this isnā€™t true. Our very own \*\*Mangetout \*\*has [proved otherwise](http://www.atomicshrimp.com/st/content/nailing_jelly_to_a_tree) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-no-fucking-vegemite/466975.md?page=4)