# There's something in my chimney! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2006, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319 "2006-07-06T03:55:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/1 "2006-07-06T03:55:58Z")
You know how, when your car makes a funny noise, you just turn the radio up and pray that the car heals itself? There’s something in my chimney. Every now and then I can hear it scritch-scritch-scritching in there. I want to ignore it and hope it heals itself, but I know it won’t. My friend believes it is a bird, and it will fly away on its own. “And if it doesn’t, we can just Febreeze the dead bird smell out!” Argh. Tomorrow I’m going to have to call one of those pest removal places to get it out. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/2 "2006-07-06T04:07:35Z")
I read your post and it makes me wonder if you have ever read the Tell-Tale Heart by Poe\*. I once had a bird in my Chimney. I open the door to the wood stove and a small black bird flew into the house. I believe I screamed like a little girl. I then calmed down and got several doors open and chased the bird out of the house with a broom and a fishing net. I went up on the roof the same day and placed a homemade wire mesh basket over the top of the chimney. Good Luck, Jim {It is kind of sad how many times I have been reduced in my life to screaming like a little girl, you would think at some point I would get over my initial shock reaction} - \*[TRUE! --nervous --very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses --not destroyed --not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily --how calmly I can tell you the whole story.](http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/poe/works/tt_heart.html) \* ---
**Author:** ![kevegan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e68b1a/32.png) [@kevegan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevegan)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/3 "2006-07-06T04:11:38Z")
Did you get all the presents you expected last Christmas? Couldn’t be those are Santa’s Howard-Hughes-like nails you are hearing as he tries to find his way back up the chimney after a six-month binge? Check your liquor cabinet at once! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/4 "2006-07-06T04:14:47Z")
I thought the monkeys were the scritch-scritch-scritching. Start a fire and smoke 'em out. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/5 "2006-07-06T04:27:05Z")
Oh, if only it were Christmas time! Bob Rivers has a great song, sung by someone as if they’re a little kid: “There’s something stuck up in the chimney and I don’t know what it is, but it’s been there all night long…” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/6 "2006-07-06T05:22:18Z")
We had some sort of small bird come down the chimney in the house we used to live in. All the cats screamed like little girls and ran, leaving me to get the poor thing into a box and outside. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/7 "2006-07-06T08:57:55Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > Oh, if only it were Christmas time! Bob Rivers has a great song, sung by someone as if they’re a little kid: “There’s something stuck up in the chimney and I don’t know what it is, but it’s been there all night long…” 😃 I have that CD. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/8 "2006-07-06T09:04:02Z")
Oh good lord. When I was 14, I heard a scritch-scritch-scritching in the linen closet. Long story short, it was a giant locust. And I mean **giant**. Like, roughly the size of an American football. I will never, if I live to be 108, forget the sight of it turning its head and LOOKING AT ME WITH THOSE GIGANTIC FREAKIN EYES. I hope your scritcher is a bird. For your sake, I really hope it’s a bird. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/9 "2006-07-06T11:45:38Z")
Maybe it’s Phoebe Cates’ dad. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/10 "2006-07-06T11:47:39Z")
We have \*scritch-scritch-scritching \* in our walls and ceiling. A lot. I hope it’s mice, but I fear it’s bats. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/11 "2006-07-06T11:49:53Z")
Our cat once went nuts around the chimney because she heard the scratching and couldn’t get at it. She lead us over there and eventually we heard the scratching, too. There was an access door near the base (it’s a furnace chimney, not a fireplace chimney), and I opened it. There was a bird inside that had fallen in, and of course couldn’t fly back out. I grabbed it and took it outside and let it go. The cat looked reproachfully at me with an expression and attitude that clearly saiod "Hey! That was _mine_! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/12 "2006-07-06T12:01:59Z")
Our cat once went nuts around the chimney because she heard the scratching and couldn’t get at it. She lead us over there and eventually we heard the scratching, too. There was an access door near the base (it’s a furnace chimney, not a fireplace chimney), and I opened it. There was a bird inside that had fallen in, and of course couldn’t fly back out. I grabbed it and took it outside and let it go. The cat looked reproachfully at me with an expression and attitude that clearly saiod "Hey! That was _mine_! ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/13 "2006-07-06T13:10:37Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Our cat once went nuts around the chimney because she heard the scratching and couldn’t get at it. She lead us over there and eventually we heard the scratching, too. There was an access door near the base (it’s a furnace chimney, not a fireplace chimney), and I opened it. There was a bird inside that had fallen in, and of course couldn’t fly back out. I grabbed it and took it outside and let it go. > > The cat looked reproachfully at me with an expression and attitude that clearly saiod "Hey! That was _mine_! **CalMeacham** , this happened twice to you? 😃 don’t hurt me! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/14 "2006-07-06T13:26:11Z")
Whoa! Deja vu! (Who are all these guys in datk glasses with earplug phones?) ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/15 "2006-07-06T13:37:28Z")
It happens every once in a while with my chimney, and my cats are also quite interested. Unfortunately my house was built without cleanouts, so I’m never able to check it out. Chimney flues have twists to them that provide overhangs from direct rainfall, and can therefore prevent shelter for critters. I’ve heard of birds, bats and raccoons all taking refuge in chimneys. Try calling a chimney sweep to investigate, and then have him/her install a cap with screening after you’ve cleared out the freeloaders. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/16 "2006-07-06T13:40:06Z")
There’s a bird whose common name is “Chimney Sweep”. I have to get from five to ten of them out of my wood heater every summer. If they come into the wood heater, they are easy to catch and turn loose. If they stay in the chimney, I find them dead and dehydrated at the outside door that’s there to provide access for cleaning. They are small, and I’ve never noticed an odor from the dead ones. ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/17 "2006-07-06T19:41:58Z")
Day 2: Scritch-scritch-scritching is gone. I choose to believe that the critter escaped, because I am an optimist. I also found my Febreeze. 🙂 > [@Plynck](#): > > Try calling a chimney sweep to investigate, and then have him/her install a cap with screening after you’ve cleared out the freeloaders. Funny thing is that the chimney is already capped with a screen. I had it checked not too long ago and it was fine, so I have no idea how the critter got in there. > [@What Exit?](#): > > It is kind of sad how many times I have been reduced in my life to screaming like a little girl, you would think at some point I would get over my initial shock reaction My first reaction is to scream like a little girl. Oftentimes, my second and third reactions also are to scream like a little girl. Do not play Jenga with me, because when the bricks fall down, I will scream like a little girl. ---
**Author:** ![spingears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/18 "2006-07-06T22:14:54Z")
> [@Campion](#): > > You know how, when your car makes a funny noise, you just turn the radio up and pray that the car heals itself? > There’s something in my chimney. Every now and then I can hear it scritch-scritch-scritching in there. I want to ignore it and hope it heals itself, but I know it won’t. My friend believes it is a bird, and it will fly away on its own. “And if it doesn’t, we can just Febreeze the dead bird smell out!” > Argh. Tomorrow I’m going to have to call one of those pest removal places to get it out. It’s summer, there’s no fire in the furnace, and the bats are looking for a cool place to rest. Not to mention the moons and dings. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/19 "2006-07-06T22:20:03Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > Oh, if only it were Christmas time! Bob Rivers has a great song, sung by someone as if they’re a little kid: “There’s something stuck up in the chimney and I don’t know what it is, but it’s been there all night long…” 😃 Classic [url=]Gahan Wilson cartoon: A couple of workers and an old lady in a living room. Center of drawing: An emaciated, bearded corpse in a Santa suit sprawled in the fireplace. Caption: “Well, we found out what’s been blocking your chimney since September, Mrs. Morris.” ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319/20 "2006-07-06T22:21:04Z")
:smack: “. . . since **December**. . .” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-in-my-chimney/363319.md?page=2)