# There's something you need to know. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 2, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540 "2005-03-02T02:48:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/1 "2005-03-02T02:48:11Z")
If I ever die in a highway accident. Don’t erect a roadside cross there, but a big Lucky Horseshoe floral wreath that says, " Good Luck in the Next Place. Shirley Ujest RIP." I thought you all should know. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/2 "2005-03-02T03:01:43Z")
You don’t find [This kind of thing](http://www.photo.net/photodb/photo?photo_id=2047951) to be respectful? What color should the horseshoe be? Should we go with durable plastic wreaths, or a delicate real floral wreath? We need to know these things. Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/3 "2005-03-02T03:05:49Z")
Plastic, most definatley. Sarcasm, like plastic, is eternal. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/4 "2005-03-02T03:07:20Z")
\*Her Last Words Before she crashed into the guard rail were: " I’d like to order an almond boneless chicken…fuck!" \* :::::sniff:::::::: ---
**Author:** ![MrFantsyPants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MrFantsyPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrFantsyPants)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/5 "2005-03-02T03:16:09Z")
[emo]I’ll always my grandfather’s last words: “a truck!”[/emo] For my roadside memorial, I would like a large billboard surrounded by flashing lights, the words “FantsyPants died here in a horrific fiery crash” in large black letters on white, and a multimedia display showing scenes from my life interspersed with naked people frolicking, the capture people’s attention. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/6 "2005-03-02T03:58:58Z")
> [@MrFantsyPants](#): > > [emo]I’ll always my grandfather’s last words: “a truck!”[/emo] > > For my roadside memorial, I would like a large billboard surrounded by flashing lights, the words “FantsyPants died here in a horrific fiery crash” in large black letters on white, and a multimedia display showing scenes from my life interspersed with naked people frolicking, the capture people’s attention. Excellent! I hope I don’t see it for years to come, but I look forward to it! I think I would have 3-D pictures on my Death Marqueen of Handsome Men That Never Called Me: Brad Pitt, Antonio, Jason Statham, Bencio Del Toro, Benjamin Bratt…Yeah, I’m talking to you boys! ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/7 "2005-03-02T04:18:25Z")
They’ll regret they never called when you are dead Shirley…they will say “I always meant to call Shirley, but I always thought I could do it tomorrow.” ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/8 "2005-03-02T04:31:02Z")
If you would like a tiki torch in your display, I can put one up for you. I can also come by every other day or so and add fuel, replace the wick, and light it again. It won’t be an eternal flame like JFK has but it will become known all around as the “Great Intermittent Flame”. ---
**Author:** ![fifty-six](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/9 "2005-03-02T04:34:44Z")
I always wondered why christians where such bad drivers. I never see the star of David on the side of the road or Budda or any other religious symbol. Do members of these religions ever get into fatal accedents? Maby I should consider following one of those religions. What I want on my deathsite if I ever die on the side of the road is a Golden Calf. I think that would say alot about myself. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/10 "2005-03-02T04:51:54Z")
> [@alaska56](#): > > What I want on my deathsite if I ever die on the side of the road is a Golden Calf. > I think that would say alot about myself. Only if the calf said: “Mooooo”. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/11 "2005-03-02T05:03:18Z")
> [@John Carter of Mars](#): > > Only if the calf said: “Mooooo”. It _does_ to mock the inquisitive and slightly bent people who lift the tail to see what’s underneath. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/12 "2005-03-02T05:18:17Z")
I just want my sign to read “Left Turn ahead” heheheh… ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/13 "2005-03-02T10:50:17Z")
Where I used to live, there was a grave stone by the road where someone had died. _Creepy_. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/14 "2005-03-02T11:06:32Z")
> [@alaska56](#): > > I always wondered why christians where such bad drivers. > > I never see the star of David on the side of the road or Budda or any other religious symbol. > > Do members of these religions ever get into fatal accedents? Maybe they _do_, but simply have the style, poise and common decency to refrain from erecting a tatty, trite roadside shrine. ---
**Author:** ![Farmwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8dc957/32.png) [@Farmwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmwoman)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/15 "2005-03-02T11:42:41Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Maybe they _do_, but simply have the style, poise and common decency to refrain from erecting a tatty, trite roadside shrine. No that’s not it. Their signs look like [this](http://www.outdoorsignsamerica.com/?DCMP=KNC-google&att=home) and I see them everywhere. They are usually cleverly disquised to look like ads for titty bars and fix-a-flat joints which explains the confusion. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/16 "2005-03-02T12:01:21Z")
> [@alaska56](#): > > I always wondered why christians where such bad drivers. > > I never see the star of David on the side of the road or Budda or any other religious symbol. > > Do members of these religions ever get into fatal accedents? > Maby I should consider following one of those religions. > > What I want on my deathsite if I ever die on the side of the road is a Golden Calf. > I think that would say alot about myself. These other religions clearly have excellent driving records. I better mention that to AAA. You have brought up a most excellente point, **Alaska56**. Welcome to the boards! ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/17 "2005-03-02T12:03:14Z")
> [@Farmwoman](#): > > No that’s not it. Their signs look like [this](http://www.outdoorsignsamerica.com/?DCMP=KNC-google&att=home) and I see them everywhere. They are usually cleverly disquised to look like ads for titty bars and fix-a-flat joints which explains the confusion. That’s right. Not many people know that. If the sign is blinking, it means that the non-Christian dead driver person was doing something sexual when he or she bought the non-Christian farm. Now that you know that, you will notice that it happens more than you would have thought. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/18 "2005-03-02T12:16:05Z")
I’ll volunteer to be a pallbearer at your funeral. Of course I’ll probably be pretty hammered when I attend. (To help me deal with the emotional trauma). So, if in my drunken stupor, I accidentaly stumble, drop the coffin and your dead carcus comes rolling out for all your friends and family to see; I hope you’ll understand. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/19 "2005-03-02T13:25:25Z")
Good lord I hate those roadside memorials/shrines. I want a scale replica of the Taj Mahal, myself. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540/20 "2005-03-02T13:32:02Z")
Off to the side of a major highway, not too far from my house, there’s an exit towards the Turnpike. In the little crook of the exit, there’s one of those shrines. A few months ago, someone dressed the cross in a _graduation gown and cap_ ( **MsRobin** , maybe you’ve seen this…). Every single time I passed it, I caught it out of the corner of my eye and freaked out because it looked almost life like. Weird, very weird. I wonder how many other drivers it freaked out. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theres-something-you-need-to-know/292540.md?page=2)