# There've been no squcky autopsy threads lately **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2006, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298 "2006-05-26T10:22:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/141 "2006-05-26T22:58:52Z")
> [@gabriela](#): > > That’s the vagina. Look, there’s some white opaque fluid in it. Wonder what that could be. Ooh! Ooh! I know! Sayyyyy, where’d **Hal** sneak off to - and was anybody else with him in here while we were on break? ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/142 "2006-05-26T23:01:05Z")
> [@YaWanna](#): > > I just started cutting the first slice when **WhyNot** elbowed me. Yeah, that’s it. **WhyNot** and **Draelin** are dangerous. I better finish this autopsy before somebody gets HURT. Let’s ignore the rest of the findings below the diaphragm. Check out these lungs. Now these are perfect lungs. Almost no anthracotic staining; couldn’t have been a smoker, must just have done a little city living. Very slightly hyperinflated - did you have a touch of asthma in childhood, **indecisive1**? Not that you know of? Ah well, I could tell you know, but you’re dead. But wait. What’s this? Why is the pericardial sac so dark and blue? Is it full of… blood??? ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/143 "2006-05-26T23:03:23Z")
It is! It is full of blood! Somebody get a measuring cup – No, not that one, that’s for egg salad - The big one, the metal one with the numbers marked on the inside. Wow. 400 cc. Cardiac tamponade. No wonder the blood was easy to draw. (From the right subclavian, picunurse.) How did this happen? **indecisive1** was way too young to have a myocardial infarct. How did the blood get out of the heart?? ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/144 "2006-05-26T23:03:47Z")
Ooh, let’s see! I bet you’re right! ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/145 "2006-05-26T23:05:11Z")
My God. This heart is shredded. It’s in pieces. Two pieces. I’ve never seen a heart lacerated in half like this. (Well, I have, but it usually involved ballistic projectiles.) This is a heart without external signs of injury. Yet here it is hanging in two. There’s only one thing I can say about this which would explain her cause of death. Her heart was torn. Well, she was the **indecisive1** … ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/146 "2006-05-26T23:06:07Z")
**YaWanna** , It’s up to you, if you want to play the odds. (odds are \*\* indecisive1\*\*isn’t positive for either) I think I have a bandaid in my backpack. **gabriela** , I asked before, did you canulate the left or right subclavian? ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/147 "2006-05-26T23:06:09Z")
:smack: ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/148 "2006-05-26T23:07:35Z")
> [@gabriela](#): > > Her heart was torn. > > Well, she was the **indecisive1** … BOO! HISSSSS! My god, you’re a fantastic Doper, **gabriela**. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/149 "2006-05-26T23:07:56Z")
You mean, she died from a _broken heart?_ ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/150 "2006-05-26T23:08:22Z")
Man, we wuz all set up! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/151 "2006-05-26T23:09:09Z")
Best. Shaggy Dog Thread. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/152 "2006-05-26T23:10:41Z")
I declare this autopsy over!! Anybody still here in five posts will be required to help CLEAN UP. WhyNot, since you’re the mom, would you take all the sliced up organs in the kick bucket and throw’em back into indecisive1’s body. She has some sort of meeting to make on Monday. We’ll do this again sometime to a new victi- to another volunteer when y’all have healed. I mean from the pun. ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/153 "2006-05-26T23:10:58Z")
That was fun. Let’s all go for beers now - I’ll buy the first round. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/154 "2006-05-26T23:13:13Z")
I think **Mr. Bus Guy** is in the bathroom being sick. You told him to suck the egg salad off the brain. He didn’t use the yankauer suction handle. :rolleyes: He didn’t use the wall suction… at all… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/155 "2006-05-26T23:14:01Z")
Okay, I’m laughing. Now, let’s hear that **indecisive1** was actually a sock puppet, and let **gabriela** go out on a high point- because I’m reasonably certain that nothing she can ever do will rival this! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/156 "2006-05-26T23:14:08Z")
> [@YaWanna](#): > > Sayyyyy, where’d **Hal** sneak off to - and was anybody else with him in here while we were on break? Hey, I’m right here, juggling away! (check post 118) _:slip:_ Oh dear…tourniquet, someone? Please? ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/157 "2006-05-26T23:17:26Z")
**Hal Briston** , the hose is over there, you can meet us at the pub when you’re done. Here’s my last band aid…stop whining, I can barely see the cut!. ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/158 "2006-05-26T23:32:50Z")
All right, y’all. Clean up. It’s only blood and guts. I absolve Hal of suspicion in the source of the white opaque stuff. He was juggling work and scalpels the entire time. No way he could have multitasked beyond that. Happy Clam (takes a bow), you’re too kind… but you don’t know me yet. I need a beer! Last to clean up turn out the lights and meet us at the bar!!! Yay!!! Let’s go hoist one to the true goddess of the party: **indecisive1**. In memoriam. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/159 "2006-05-27T00:03:06Z")
**gabriela** , May I e-mail you with a question? ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298/160 "2006-05-27T00:04:41Z")
Or could you e-mail me? (I see your address isn’t public) I have an autopsy question that I’d rather not ask publicly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thereve-been-no-squcky-autopsy-threads-lately/358298.md?page=9)