# They ain't making Jesus freaks like they used to **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 16, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105 "2013-03-16T18:17:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/21 "2013-03-17T06:01:34Z")
Haha, great stories. I have always had the fantasy that if a couple of Jehova’s Witnesses or Mormons showed up at my door I’d immediately call my boyfriend over (if I had one at the time) and put my arm around him and introduce him to them as my boyfriend and then see if they had anything more to say to me. I promise I would be perfectly polite and decent but I’d just love to see the looks on their faces. “Hey Baby! Come here. There are some lovely people here who want to talk to us.” ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/22 "2013-03-17T06:06:51Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > To me there’s a difference between Jesus freaks (high on the Lord!) and Bible-thumpers. Jesus freaks are mellow. Bible-thumpers are just mean. They may know the Word but they don’t understand the meaning. One word: JOSH. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/23 "2013-03-17T06:34:38Z")
> [@Beelzebubba](#): > > For example- Leviticus is commonly used to ‘prove’ that homosexuality is a sin. It only mentions men laying with men, so one would infer that lesbianism is not a sin, correct? > > What about a gay man who has chosen to be celibate for a number of years? He doesn’t “lie” with another man as with a woman, so where’s the sin? > > Levitical Law also prohibits eating pork and shellfish. Since no sin is greater than any other sin (“sin is sin”), the Sunday Church Crowd at Red Lobster are no better than a homo hooking up for a gang bang with a dozen other sodomites! > > What about when your wife has her monthly visitor (aka- OTR, Aunt Flo visiting)? She is unclean for seven days, not to be touched! You might enjoy [this classic take on it](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eD52OlkKfNs) from _The West Wing_. > [@](#): > > As for the “You’re going to burn in Hell!” comment, I always respond with a clever quote from Buffy (the Vampire Slayer)- “Save me a good seat!” or Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson (The Closer)- “You first!” Cult movie director John Waters signs autographs with a cheery _See you in Hell!_ ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/24 "2013-03-17T06:40:17Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > To me there’s a difference between Jesus freaks (high on the Lord!) and Bible-thumpers. Jesus freaks are mellow. Bible-thumpers are just mean. They may know the Word but they don’t understand the meaning. Thing is, most of those people really don’t know “the Word.” As to one of my own many stories, a woman related to my husband that the reason a mutual acquaintance had cancer and was going to die was because she wasn’t a real Christian, IE: Catholic. Uh huh, you psycho hosebeast. And I see **Ambi** and nod my head in complete agreement. No need to actually _live_ your life honorably, just spout platitudes to qualify for heaven. \< rolls eyes \> No, save that aisle seat near the handle of the basket instead, is what my agnostic self says. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Beelzebubba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Beelzebubba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beelzebubba)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/25 "2013-03-17T10:00:14Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > You might enjoy [this classic take on it](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eD52OlkKfNs) from _The West Wing_. I LOVE IT! Go Martin Sheen!!! He OWNED that tightass Ann Coulter/Dr. Laura wannabe! Enjoy this clip from Designing Women on the topic- [**LINK**](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNeh3FeU9-M) And on the subject of burning in Hell, I plan to be cremated when I die. If anyone talks about gays going to Hell, I just say “Oh good, I guess I’ll burn twice!” =) ---
**Author:** ![Beelzebubba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Beelzebubba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beelzebubba)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/26 "2013-03-17T10:22:06Z")
Being serious for a brief moment… The OP’s experience was a classic example of “Jesus, Save me from your followers!” Self-righteous, judgemental hypocrites who claim they’re ‘true’ Christians couldn’t be further from the mark! The goal of any Christian (or those who follow the teachings of Jesus but don’t identify as Christian) is to emulate Christ! To be Christ-like! Jesus embraced those that society rejected. I’m just quoting from memory, but “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” rings a bell…and I think it was printed in RED in my Bible (yes, I have quite a few of them)! I worked as a Manager then District Manager for Zondervan Family Bookstores for five years back in the mid-90s. More queens work for that company than Macys, Nordstrom, Saks and Hair Cuttery combined! :dubious: I quit when I decided to leave ‘The Church’. I was also married to my high school sweetheart and asking her for a divorce was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. ☹ But I am very proud to say that I never cheated on her with a man or woman! I have a real problem with married men who think that adultery should be excused because I’m not sleeping with other women, just acting on my true nature. Bullshit! Cheating is cheating, gay or straight! If you’re married and realize (or finally accept) that you’re gay, you come out to wife and separate from her BEFORE you start having sex with other men!!! It’s really that simple! I was 22 and had never been with a man when I came out to my wife and filed for divorce. She and I are very close friends and I’m still tight with my former in-laws, too. That’s the way a decent man handles it! ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/27 "2013-03-17T15:15:48Z")
It seems to be human nature to slice&dice things (such as the Bible and the US Constitution) that are too big to assimilate in one swell foop, then pick out what seems most relevant. For many Christians, especially of the fundamentalist persuasion, the focus is on the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18): “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Unfortunately, some of these people have a translation that reads along the lines of: “You are commanded to get in peoples’ faces, harass, harangue, and beat them mightily over the head with the One True Word. And if they persist in their rejection of the One True Word, remind them at every opportunity (and with much rejoicing) of the torments of Hell that await them. Amen and halleluiah.” Fortunately they tend to be easy to spot since they have all the subtlety of a thrown Molotov cocktail. But occasionally one slips under the radar, and in such cases the only succor is to be reminded suddenly of the need to close an arms deal in Tanzania or pick up a load of copra in Guam. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/28 "2013-03-18T13:53:37Z")
I absolutely love that song, and I love talking with religious nutjobs cause I know more about the Bible than they do. It’s my basic philosophy–NEVER argue one side of an issue until you know the other side. Otherwise, you end up looking like an idiot. My favorite thing to do is introduce myself during the coversation and hold out my hand. When the person shakes it I say “How do you know I’m not on my period? Now you’re unclean!” ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/29 "2013-03-18T17:34:04Z")
This reminds me of a bit comedian Amy Schumer does. Paraphrasing from memory (and no doubt butchering it) I was on the bus and an older woman asked me “Have I heard the Good News”? I said no, and she said the good news was that Jesus Christ died for my sins! I told her I was Jewish, and she said, “Oh your people simply haven’t met Jesus yet!” I said, “Well, actually… have you heard the Bad News?” ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/30 "2013-03-18T20:39:29Z")
> [@F.U.Shakespeare](#): > > I thought of a whole bunch of replies, but finally settled on, “Well, thank you for that, friend - very Christian of you!” > > \ > > when I was a kid, guys smoking and drinking before noon were the _targets_ of assholes with sermons, not the sources. This would have been a good one, too 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c2a13f/32.png) [@The\_Man\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_Who)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/31 "2013-03-19T03:13:06Z")
> [@Frumpy\_Jones](#): > > This, I’m sorry, CANNOT go unchecked. What quote from the bible did you incorrectly attribute to JLL? :dubious: “His daughters married their cousins on their father’s side.” Numbers 36:11 ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/32 "2013-03-19T03:56:19Z")
> [@Beelzebubba](#): > > …I know their Bible better than most of them do! > … > > I love to back them into a corner then use their own ‘beliefs’ and ‘scripture’ against them…. > > … > > Levitical Law also prohibits eating pork and shellfish. Since no sin is greater than any other sin (“sin is sin”), the Sunday Church Crowd at Red Lobster are no better than a homo hooking up for a gang bang with a dozen other sodomites! > > What about when your wife has her monthly visitor (aka- OTR, Aunt Flo visiting)? She is unclean for seven days, not to be touched! You know, before you start bragging about how much you know about the Bible and using these examples, you might want to read about [Peter’s Vision](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter's_vision_of_a_sheet_with_animals) in Acts 10 and 11. Since the early days of the Church, this Vision has been interpreted as saying that the Mosaic purity laws do not apply to Christians. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/33 "2013-03-19T10:48:02Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > You know, before you start bragging about how much you know about the Bible and using these examples, you might want to read about [Peter’s Vision](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter's_vision_of_a_sheet_with_animals) in Acts 10 and 11. Since the early days of the Church, this Vision has been interpreted as saying that the Mosaic purity laws do not apply to Christians. Since **Beelzebubba** said he does that to those who cite Leviticus in condemning gay people, I think it’s perfectly appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/34 "2013-03-19T13:47:25Z")
I have taken out the full lyrics in the OP. Please know that it’s against the rules to post full lyrics that have copyright laws. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/35 "2013-03-19T23:01:18Z")
Lyrics in the OP? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/36 "2013-03-20T02:00:29Z")
My wife once said to a JW: “You people have been trying to convert us for 2000 years and still haven’t”. She got an apparently sincere apology. So I guess they really are trying to convert only Christians. There are people who preach the “Absolute inerrancy of the Bible”. I still don’t understand how they blow off the kashruth. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/37 "2013-03-20T14:11:42Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > “Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire!”? And brimstone. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/38 "2013-03-20T14:30:23Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > “Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire!”? > [@tdn](#): > > And brimstone. Perfect! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/39 "2013-03-20T14:58:46Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > This reminds me of a bit comedian Amy Schumer does. Paraphrasing from memory (and no doubt butchering it) > > I was on the bus and an older woman asked me “Have I heard the Good News”? I said no, and she said the good news was that Jesus Christ died for my sins! I told her I was Jewish, and she said, “Oh your people simply haven’t met Jesus yet!” I said, “Well, actually… have you heard the Bad News?” What I don’t understand… well what I don’t understand is the attraction of religion full stop, but the specific bit I don’t understand about this bit: Christians have a downer on Jews because Jesus was killed by Jews, right? But if Jesus hadn’t been killed (sorry, “died for our sins”) then he’d just be some dude who mooched about Judaea with a dozen other dudes doing magic tricks, and forgotten about by the year 800 ([AUC](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ab_urbe_condita), _nimirum_). So what gives? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105/40 "2013-03-20T15:29:39Z")
I thought it was more than that… how _dare_ anyone not believe he is the messiah? But your point is still a good one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-aint-making-jesus-freaks-like-they-used-to/653105.md?page=3)