# They are at it again! (Long, ridiculous) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 12, 2011, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710 "2011-05-12T21:56:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/1 "2011-05-12T21:56:36Z")
Those damn liberal pussies over at the [National Academy of Sciences](http://www.nas.edu/) are at it again trying to prime the money pump :mad:. If you haven’t seen, they just released a report on “[America’s Climate Choices](http://americasclimatechoices.org/ACC_Final_Report_Brief04.pdf)” wherein they repeat all of Algores standard lines about the earth heating up (yeah right; it fucking snowed here this morning :rolleyes:) and spreading fear about some evil carbon dioxide being released by Americans and Oil Companies. It’s all bullshit, and I am tired of the so-called scientists pretending that this is even a problem just so they can get some grant money. It just distracts from the important stuff like the fact [half our congress is populated by traitors](http://minnesotaindependent.com/13637/new-mccarthyism-bachmann-calls-for-investigation-of-anti-american-congress-members) that are trying to turn America into [socialist kleptocracy](http://blog.heritage.org/2011/02/08/even-politifact-admits-president-obama-raised-taxes/). Any moron should be able to grasp the following facts: [ul] [li]Even if the Earth is heating right now, it’s [a natural cycle](http://site.ninerubies.com/img/FourSeasons.jpg) and those people just seem to stupid to under stand it… Just last year it was much warming that it was today. :rolleyes:[/li][li]Even if the Earth is heating right now, we should take into consideration that humans are a tropical species. We [do better when it’s warmer](http://images.travelpod.com/tw_slides/ta00/c90/876/13-change-your-latitude--maui.jpg) so I don’t understand why these “experts” predict negative outomes. :smack:[/li][li]The idea that we can predict temperatures with an accuracy of 1 or even 5 degrees in the next 20, 50, or even a 100 years is fucking ridiculous. Hell, last time I checked they can’t predict temperatures accurately 10 days in advance (the weatherman totally miscalled todays whether 3 days ago). Yet these assholes keep telling us that temperatures are going to rise by 3 degrees in the next 50 years or whatever. Yeah right, 3 degrees plus or minus 20. How the fuck can they even pretend to know that 😕. Morons.[/li][li]Even if we wanted to stop it, there is no way we are going to convince the rest of the world to act. Remember that summit a few years ago, Koto or Toto or whatever, where the Chinese told the rest of the world to screw off that they were going to burn as much oil as they could get there hands on? I for one am not going to let them have it, [we should get to burn our fair share](http://www.theflagshop.co.uk/ekmps/shops/speed/images/usa-truck-flag-576-p.jpg)![/li][li]I just can’t stand it! The vast majority of Carbon Dioxide is released from plants decaying and animals breathing. I read somewhere (I will try to find the website, I think it was my churches’ blog) that 98% of all CO2 comes from these sources. How the hell could we warm the globe with this being the case? Huh? What the hell do they teach at these schools? 😕[/li][li]And all this bullshit about sea levels rising. Morons, I remember learning that the continents float. It’s called [plate technitians](http://www.geography-site.co.uk/pages/physical/earth/images/plates.gif) assholes and you can look it up online. How the hell is a sea level rise going to matter when we will just ride the wave on our continental plate. It’s like they are not even trying![/li][li]Finally, why should we have to give up our lifestyle? Why don’t we get some engineers to put in some of those scrubbers or just equestrian the carbon underground. This will be cheaper and easier than taxing gas and carbon to pay for these stupid grants! Gas is 4 bucks a gallon here; it’s going to cost me over a hundred bucks to get to the lake this summer, never mind what its going cost to ski![/ul][/li]We should do something about this. Maybe we could have a political litmus test at our colleges so that we don’t get this blatent partisan money grabs from scientists. I am sure that if we had some non-ivory tower elite scientists we could get some facts. :rolleyes: I hope you realize that all of this is a parody of the comments you get in news articles every time a report like this comes out. That said, I am sure there are some of you that actually agree with the points above and think I am being serious and astute. You people are mouth-breathing morons! I hope you bought land in Florida! ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/2 "2011-05-12T21:59:51Z")
I think that’s really awesome that you’ve got the answer to “global warming”-- have you thought about publishing your ideas in some sort of scientific journal? ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/3 "2011-05-12T22:16:13Z")
I agree with the OP. Scientists need more smilies in their reports. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/4 "2011-05-12T22:16:44Z")
You bastard. Getting me all in the mood to strangle a kitten, and switching it into a woosh. What a RAEGtease. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/5 "2011-05-12T22:23:20Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I think that’s really awesome that you’ve got the answer to “global warming”-- have you thought about publishing your ideas in some sort of scientific journal? I tried, they wouldn’t let me. It’s a conspiracy. They don’t let honest hard working people express their opinions unless you have a librul card. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/6 "2011-05-12T22:27:41Z")
> [@](#): > > I hope you realize that all of this is a parody of the comments you get in news articles every time a report like this comes out. That said, I am sure there are some of you that actually agree with the points above and think I am being serious and astute. You people are mouth-breathing morons! I hope you bought land in Florida! Oh, thank the gods. I thought my ex-father-in-law had gotten an account on the Dope! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/47e85d/32.png) [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/7 "2011-05-12T22:28:14Z")
Trying it Colbert-style, huh? I approve. ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/8 "2011-05-12T22:29:15Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > You bastard. Getting me all in the mood to strangle a kitten, and switching it into a woosh. What a RAEGtease. Well, the whoosh was obvious, I thought the disclaimer kind of killed the joke, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/9 "2011-05-12T23:35:03Z")
Frankly, I’m just relieved I don’t have to explain the difference between climate and weather. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/10 "2011-05-13T00:16:20Z")
Aww. I was all set to make fun of the “equestrian” line. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/11 "2011-05-13T00:24:08Z")
> [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > Well, the whoosh was obvious, I thought the disclaimer kind of killed the joke, actually. I kind of felt the same way, but then I thought that there was a significant possibility that I would always be known as that whackjob that believes that since we can’t predict the weather a week out, there is no way that we can model climate. After all a large fraction of the populace believes similar things. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/12 "2011-05-13T01:08:40Z")
Poe’s Law in action. ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/13 "2011-05-13T05:08:51Z")
> [@L. G. Butts](#): > > I kind of felt the same way, but then I thought that there was a significant possibility that I would always be known as that whackjob that believes that since we can’t predict the weather a week out, there is no way that we can model climate. After all a large fraction of the populace believes similar things. There’s nothing funnier than arguing with maddened posters who are actually on your side of things, but take you for one of “the other side”. It’s kinda refreshing too. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/14 "2011-05-13T05:20:05Z")
Al Gore is a dick. Before him, there was no global warming. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/15 "2011-05-13T05:48:49Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Al Gore is a dick. Before him, there was no global warming. It must be Poe’s law, but just in case: no, it was not invented by Al Gore, Try Eisenhower. 🙂 > **[greenman3610](https://www.youtube.com/user/greenman3610#p/u/23/sdALFnlwV_o)** > > Knocking down the nonsense of Climate denial. I like Ike. And Dr. Gilbert Plass ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/16 "2011-05-13T06:13:00Z")
> [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > It’s kinda refreshing too. Mmmm. Nothing refreshes like Joka Trolla. ---
**Author:** ![Cort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/77aa72/32.png) [@Cort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cort)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/17 "2011-05-13T06:31:04Z")
Wow, that’s actually a really nicely written OP. Good job. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/18 "2011-05-13T06:56:31Z")
> [@L. G. Butts](#): > > Why don’t we get some engineers to put in some of those scrubbers or just equestrian the carbon underground. While you meant this jokingly, frankly, we (humanity) aren’t going to be able to cut CO2 output for at least a century. Engineering giant air scrapers would, likely, be our only path towards reducing atmospheric CO2 if we actually wanted to focus on effective means rather than ones which allow us to pat ourselves on the back for being Green. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/19 "2011-05-13T13:17:26Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > It must be Poe’s law, but just in case: no, it was not invented by Al Gore, Try Eisenhower. 🙂 Fuck that guy - Al Gore invented global warming because no one believed his bullshit about the internet, and now all of our damn ice is melting. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710/20 "2011-05-13T13:24:27Z")
There is a 100% chance of weather today, with occasional patches of fog on the internet. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-are-at-it-again-long-ridiculous/581710.md?page=2)