# They busted the Fat Man **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-busted-the-fat-man/644772 "2012-12-21T19:38:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-busted-the-fat-man/644772/1 "2012-12-21T19:38:07Z")
There were elves lined up on JFK Boulevard waving signs that said “Santa stop ahead!” Sure enough, he did, because there he was, with a bunch of NLR cops at a mobile control van, or whatever it’s called. I’m glad they finally caught the SOB. B&E, accosting kid’s Mommies, Peeping in windows, (He knows if you’ve been sleeping, he knows if you’re awake) and Child Abuse. Incarcerate the Fat Man in Durance Vile! ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-busted-the-fat-man/644772/2 "2012-12-21T19:53:52Z")
Fat bastard never did give me that Aston Martin and I’ve been good for ages. I hope he fries. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-busted-the-fat-man/644772/3 "2012-12-21T20:06:28Z")
Fraud, I forgot fraud! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-busted-the-fat-man/644772/4 "2012-12-21T20:27:38Z")
not to mention breach of contract ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-busted-the-fat-man/644772/5 "2012-12-21T21:15:55Z")
Plus he tracks soot all through the house! Never offered to pay for the carpet cleaning either. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-busted-the-fat-man/644772/6 "2012-12-21T21:23:12Z")
One year he totally fucked up the flue in my chimney. Not even a note. Bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-busted-the-fat-man/644772/7 "2012-12-21T21:31:26Z")
…but then…who has the Falcon? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-busted-the-fat-man/644772/8 "2012-12-21T21:46:48Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > …but then…who has the Falcon? Sam Spade has the copy, but we don’t know when it was substituted. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-busted-the-fat-man/644772/9 "2012-12-21T22:21:15Z")
Did Jake get away clean? StG ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-busted-the-fat-man/644772/10 "2012-12-21T22:36:01Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > Did Jake get away clean? > > StG I dunno. Canino got shot in the tummy five or six times. Bogie doesn’t screw around. ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-busted-the-fat-man/644772/11 "2012-12-22T18:44:25Z")
Drunk bastard owes me a new roof. Have you _seen_ what rendeer hooves and sleigh runners do to composition roof shingles?!? ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-busted-the-fat-man/644772/12 "2012-12-22T20:39:43Z")
Don’t ever prank Santa. A few years ago I found out that reindeer like beans so I left a bunch on my roof. His reindeer ate it all. Gave them bad gas too. If you thought you saw the Northern Lights over the Pacific Northwest a couple years ago, it was reindeer gas vapor. Still have a pile of coal that Santa left me last year.