# They Gave Me That Book For A Reason: How did parents/teachers try to shape your character through childhood reading? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** books-writing-myths\ **Created:** [August 17, 2022, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845 "2022-08-17T20:02:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/21 "2022-08-18T15:00:21Z")
When I was about 10 or 11 my parents started leaving out books about “changing bodies,” etc. I thought it weird that they had those books in the first place, but I was curious and looked when no one was around. It was decades later before I realized they left them out for me. (Still, I think The Joy of Sex was for them, not me) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/22 "2022-08-18T15:18:59Z")
My grandma’s house was full of children’s books and reference books. She also took me to the library about once a week and let me check out all the stuff I wanted. I had it made back then! I do recall one time when they bought my brother a toy and I got a book. I cried like an ungrateful little asshole, but it wasn’t because I got a book, it was that it was A Child’s Garden of Bible Verses or some shit. In later years, when I fought against going to church, my grandmother once said, “I should never have let you read all those books about witches when you were little…like The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe!” 😄 But in truth, nobody ever tried to manage what I was reading. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/23 "2022-08-18T15:37:25Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > My teachers seemed to push the standard stuff (Twain, Dreiser, Salinger) along with more tame stuff in grade school, but discouraged anything else. I read voraciously and mostly got into trouble for reading on my own. I remember when learning to read – for real – in the second grade, not the Cat, Hat. Bat, Mat stuff in the first, all of the reader books on shelves in the back of the room. They were kept in the classroom; perhaps there weren’t enough to go around, perhaps they didn’t trust us to take good care of them at home. Anyway there were something like six different levels with five or so books in each level. You were to read a story in the book, take a a comprehension test, then proceed to the next story. Each kid would proceed at their own pace, although the teacher kept us in the same ballpark, tutoring those who were struggling. I ripped through them all well before the end of the first semester, not taking the tests just reading until the rest of the class caught up then rereading and taking the test. After that I’d bring school library books and after taking the tested reading, read those instead during the period. There were a couple girls doing the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/24 "2022-08-18T17:18:37Z")
I mostly picked out my own books; my father wasn’t much of a novel reader as an adult, and my mom reads romance/mystery novels. There were a few old-time novels laying around from my father’s youth though- “Commodore Hornblower” and “The Salem Frigate” by John Jennings. Both were naval historical fiction set in the Age of Sail. “The Salem Frigate” was more specifically set in post-colonial America (1798-1815), and followed the adventures of a ship’s doctor as he was in multiple historical events involving the US Navy including the Barbary Wars and the War of 1812. That started me on the Hornblower novels and the Aubrey/Maturin novels (some decades later), and a general love of adventurous stories. I think that my father liking Star Trek and pretty much any science fiction TV show or movie set me on the path of liking that stuff too, and eventually getting into science fiction novels, even though he himself never actually read them. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/25 "2022-08-18T20:07:47Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > I must have been about 9 years old, and wanted to borrow John Howard Griffin’s _Black Like Me_ (which, for some reason, the elementary school library had). No, said the librarian I tried to check out the Complete Sherlock Holmes when I was 11, and the library assistant thought I was too young for it. Went home and found out that my dad had an old copy so I read that one. And loved it. That same library assistant was working there when I got a parttime job in high school (and continued through college), and she was pretty ditzy when I got to know her. Nice, but a bit squirrely. Maybe it was too complex for _her_. > [@DesertDog](#): > > I remember when learning to read – for real – in the second grade, not the Cat, Hat. Bat, Mat stuff in the first, all of the reader books on shelves in the back of the room. They were kept in the classroom; perhaps there weren’t enough to go around, perhaps they didn’t trust us to take good care of them at home. > > Anyway there were something like six different levels with five or so books in each level. You were to read a story in the book, take a a comprehension test, then proceed to the next story. Each kid would proceed at their own pace, although the teacher kept us in the same ballpark, tutoring those who were struggling. SLA? I think that was the program we had. Color coded for levels. Yeah, I was always waaaay ahead. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/26 "2022-08-18T20:22:53Z")
No idea but they were color-coded so, maybe. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/27 "2022-08-18T20:27:01Z")
Mom was a world traveler and a junior high school librarian. I had the best possible exposure to everything from Day One. Most importantly, she told me what the little “Atom” tag on the spine of a library book meant. Needless to say, I was reading at a high school level very early on. Still got bit by the fact that “well read” does not in any way mean “smart.” To this very day, in fact. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![motu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/motu/32/259_2.png) [@motu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/motu)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/28 "2022-08-18T20:46:39Z")
Mom was a reader, I was a reader. My father passed away when I was eleven. At the time I thought I was getting away with something but mom left a copy of “The Joy of Sex” where I could find it. Answered a lot of questions and then some. Though we did have a very explicit conversation the year or two previous, regarding John Wayne Gacy. I loved going to the library, thrift shops and yard sales. She would check what I was reading but never censored my reading. I remember finding “A History of Torture” in a thrift store in grade school. It sounded so cool. Until I read the Introduction. I had to put the book down, it was very disturbing, I could not read that book. I wonder whatever happened to it. I was extremely embarrassed when she saw me reading one of her “steamy” romance novels. In middle school, I had permission to use any of the classroom library when I was done with my work. I always finished my work quickly and letting me explore the encyclopedias kept me from causing trouble because I was bored. We were “yard saling” in Great Lakes Naval Base and I got a large collection of John Norman’s “Gor” sci-fantasy series. Mom read one and did not say a thing. Luckily, I found his woman hating rather tedious and boring, nothing logical or relatable. The Gor book covers were much better than the prose. In high school, a group of us traded right wing apocalyptic pulp books. I think one series was “The Survivalist”. I was a voracious reader as a kid, fantasy/sci-fi being my preferred genre(s). ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/29 "2022-08-18T20:49:58Z")
I wouldn’t say I received any “indoctrination” through books other than that reading was encouraged. From age 6 or 7 I picked almost all of my own library books, and from that time to the present day, I’ve spent most of my allowance on books (and a little chocolate). ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/30 "2022-08-18T20:56:10Z")
My grandmother was the town librarian in our very small town. My father was a voracious reader, I often suspected that he had read every single book in our town library. As a youngster, ordering books in school I would often have a large pile delivered when the order came in. I have no idea how my parents paid for them, as we were poor-working-class. I guess it was just a priority? Maybe grandma was secretly funding? All that said, I have no recollection of any adult ever steering me as to _what_ to read. Maybe they figured I was doing well enough with reading that I didn’t need help? But, interesting to me, when I got a girlfriend a couple of years younger than me, she related how when she asked her parents about sex, they just handed her the book " Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex: But Were Afraid to Ask". She was probably a freshman at the time, this was back in the early 1970s. They were very conventional small town working class folks, not hippies, so it struck me as a little out there. Maybe they were just super embarrassed to discuss the subject and grabbed the first book they saw? I don’t believe they were trying to shape her with the book, yah? ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/31 "2022-08-18T21:00:41Z")
SRA. > **[SRA Cards: A History of Programmed Instruction and Personalization](http://hackeducation.com/2015/03/19/sra)** > > I still shudder at the thought of having to choose a reading assignment from among the multi-colored tabs in the big box of reading assignments at the back of my elementary school classroom. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/32 "2022-08-18T21:05:32Z")
That’s it! I never shuddered, though. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/33 "2022-08-18T21:06:42Z")
I loved them. I would sneak to the 5th grade room to read theirs. Map Skills was a favorite. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/34 "2022-08-18T21:08:06Z")
My parents gave me almost every Dr Seuss book, and Edward Lear, and other similar materials. I’m pretty sure it had a formative influence on me in terms of a deep-seated love of the absurd. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2022, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/35 "2022-08-18T23:02:21Z")
I think that’s what we used too; the box looks very familiar, but the cards don’t. (This would have been in the late '80s - early '90s.) I remember something about having to fill out a card with the appropriate color pencil, and one classmate getting busted for having filled in more squares than cards she had read. > [@Procrustus](#): > > When I was about 10 or 11 my parents started leaving out books about “changing bodies,” etc. I thought it weird that they had those books in the first place, but I was curious and looked when no one was around. I’m now realizing that a couple of medical reference books suddenly popped up out of nowhere when I was about that age! Of course, I was far more fascinated by the discussion of various diseases and conditions (the illustrations for megacolon were amazing!) than I was about the chapter on puberty. ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2022, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/36 "2022-08-19T00:14:25Z")
We picked up my oldest brother from college, including the box of books and reading material he had accumulated. When he reported to the army he left the box behind. In there was a bunch of Playboy magazines, very interesting to a boy in the sixth- grade, and a copy of EYEWTKASBWATA (did I get that right?) I was even more confused after reading that: “You mean even George Washington took off all his clothes and did _that_?”; I’m not sure why that was my first question. I’m pretty sure my mother knew what was in the box but didn’t mind. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2022, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845/37 "2022-08-19T00:22:13Z")
My mom left out “Ms magazine” and “everything you always wanted to know about sex, but we’re afraid to ask” for me. I know that because she told me, years later. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-gave-me-that-book-for-a-reason-how-did-parents-teachers-try-to-shape-your-character-through-childhood-reading/969845.md?page=1)