# They really called their new medicine "Ass Effects." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 19, 2009, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673 "2009-09-19T01:13:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hentzau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Hentzau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentzau)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/1 "2009-09-19T01:13:55Z")
Honest. It’s even a med for treating something that goes on in your GI tract. Oh, they don’t spell it that way, but the next time you see the TV commercial for AcipHex, listen to the words. I’m not making this up: [http://www.aciphex.com/](http://www.aciphex.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/2 "2009-09-19T02:18:34Z")
I’ve been totally ripping on that every time a commercial comes on. I secretly hope one of their side effects is the dreaded “anal leakage.” ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/3 "2009-09-19T02:47:05Z")
Aciphex has been a godsend for hubby. He used to have a lot of stomach pain, so much so that he cut down on eating and lost a good bit of weight. This stuff works. I read the bottle before I heard it pronounced, so I never think of it as Ass Effects. When someone says the word I think of stomach acid. Aci- phex. ETA: and no, he doesn’t have any leakage. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/4 "2009-09-19T06:32:01Z")
To paraphrase the linked-to page: **ugh…yuck…nasty** ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/5 "2009-09-19T11:52:40Z")
I’m glad you posted this just as I am having a horrendous attack of piles. Piles must be the most painful, disgusting complaint known to mankind. I want to die. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/6 "2009-09-19T12:00:01Z")
I was always tickled by that erectile dysfunction medication commercial: “Can’t get an erection? See Alice!” [Link](http://www.cialis.com) Maybe it’s just me…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hentzau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Hentzau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentzau)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/7 "2009-09-19T15:14:48Z")
I think she’ll know…🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/8 "2009-09-19T15:20:07Z")
> [@legalsnugs](#): > > “Can’t get an erection? See Alice!” Well, as the song said, “One pill makes you larger…” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/9 "2009-09-19T15:29:41Z")
[The Germans have it beat](http://www.afterbuy.de/afterbuy/shop/storefront/start.aspx?seite=/afterbuy/shop/storefront/produkt.aspx%3Fshopid%3D47090%26produktid%3D2765257%26shopid%3D47090). ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/10 "2009-09-19T15:31:55Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Well, as the song said, “One pill makes you larger…” 😛 As a much older song said, you gotta see Alice every night or you won’t see Alice at all. ---
**Author:** ![horsetech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dec6dc/32.png) [@horsetech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horsetech)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/11 "2009-09-20T08:09:05Z")
> [@legalsnugs](#): > > I was always tickled by that erectile dysfunction medication commercial: > > “Can’t get an erection? See Alice!” > > [Link](http://www.cialis.com) > > Maybe it’s just me…😃 I always think of the Eastern bluebird, Latin name _Sialia sialis_. I don’t know what color the pills are, but the phrase that comes to mind is “Blue Pill of Happiness”. BTW, yes, Aciphex is a great drug name. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/12 "2009-09-20T17:33:06Z")
then there are a pair of drugs … cozaar and zocaar … i take one, mrAru takes the other. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/13 "2009-09-21T14:06:14Z")
> [@legalsnugs](#): > > I was always tickled by that erectile dysfunction medication commercial: > > “Can’t get an erection? See Alice!” > > [Link](http://www.cialis.com) > > Maybe it’s just me…😃 I always find the generic name, tadalafil, to be exciting. “Aww, I have droopy dick. Ta-da!” ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/14 "2009-09-21T16:07:47Z")
Do you take it to treat Ass-Burgers syndrome? ---
**Author:** ![Noelq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noelq/32/16438_2.png) [@Noelq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noelq)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/15 "2009-09-21T17:12:36Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Aciphex has been a godsend for hubby. He used to have a lot of stomach pain, so much so that he cut down on eating and lost a good bit of weight. This stuff works. > > I read the bottle before I heard it pronounced, so I never think of it as Ass Effects. When someone says the word I think of stomach acid. Aci- phex. I’ve taken this for YEARS, and its a damn miracle. No more 3 a.m. puking because of reflux. I don’t care if they called it Pitchfork-Rape-by-Flying-Monkeys. The stuff works! ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/16 "2009-09-24T03:55:17Z")
Someday, I’m going to go into the pseudopharmaceutical business. When I do I’m going to make a pill for men called Levantra and one for women called Norakatall. I’ll make millions. ---
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/17 "2009-09-24T05:40:27Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > then there are a pair of drugs … cozaar and zocaar … i take one, mrAru takes the other. :rolleyes: [Zocor?](http://www.rxlist.com/zocor-drug.htm) ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/they-really-called-their-new-medicine-ass-effects/510673/18 "2009-09-24T14:32:20Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Someday, I’m going to go into the pseudopharmaceutical business. When I do I’m going to make a pill for men called Levantra and one for women called Norakatall. I’ll make millions. The Levitra people might get a little angry with you 😉