# They're called "bl\*w job" boots for a reason! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 28, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600 "2009-07-28T21:35:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/41 "2009-07-29T08:48:45Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > You must be wearing them wrong. I can barely walk around in mine, what with all the women clamoring to suck my penis. I’ve tried carrying a squirt bottle but it doesn’t dissuade them. It’s not the boots, dude. It’s the sesquipedalian prehensile tongue. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/42 "2009-07-29T13:49:56Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > I put on leather combat boots, along with **skintight jeans** and a sombrero, and dragged my butt out of the house to the park. I think I found your problem. I you just go with the boots and sombrero you will have much more luck. Although, in colder weather a poncho is advisable and you can do the Clint Eastwood thing and pull it aside dramatically to reveal yourself of course a good squint will increase your chances as well. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/43 "2009-07-29T13:59:23Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Maybe you should wear a real mexican sombrero. An urban sombrero definitely sends the wrong message. A Mexican sombrero is what you wear if you want to get a dirty sanchez. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/44 "2009-07-29T14:09:47Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > You must be wearing them wrong. I can barely walk around in mine, what with all the women clamoring to suck my penis. I’ve tried carrying a squirt bottle but it doesn’t dissuade them. " You’re clamoring to suck my penis, aren’t you?" should be a t-shirt. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/45 "2009-07-29T15:00:14Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Disgusting, the lot of you. If it’s blowjobs you want, you have to hang out around a school crossing with a **bag of candy in your hands**. Pay no attention to the crossing guard, even when she threatens to call the cops. Damn, can’t you folks get anything right? You put the candy(preferrably suckers) in your PANTS, not your hands. It not like feeding horses :smack: I find 3rd graders to be the right height, but 5th graders are less likey to cry. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/46 "2009-07-29T15:27:18Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Damn, can’t you folks get anything right? You put the candy(preferrably suckers) in your PANTS, not your hands. It not like feeding horses :smack: > > I find 3rd graders to be the right height, but 5th graders are less likey to cry. Why don’t you have a seat over here. ---
**Author:** ![pantheon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6bbea6/32.png) [@pantheon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pantheon)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/47 "2009-07-29T15:36:01Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > I think I found your problem. I you just go with the boots and sombrero you will have much more luck. Although, in colder weather a poncho is advisable and you can do the Clint Eastwood thing and pull it aside dramatically to reveal yourself of course a good squint will increase your chances as well. And when you’re done, you can say “Now spit.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/48 "2009-07-29T16:04:39Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Damn, can’t you folks get anything right? You put the candy(preferrably suckers) in your PANTS, not your hands. It not like feeding horses :smack: Yeah, but I’d still make sure you keep your dick in the flat position. Trust me on this one. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/49 "2009-07-29T16:25:22Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > Why don’t you have a seat over here. thanks this thing is getting crowded.. Is the AC not working? because its getting awfully warm… ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/50 "2009-07-29T16:56:17Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > Why don’t you have a seat over here. Yeah, the first graders can’t quite reach. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/51 "2009-07-29T17:01:31Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > It’s not the boots, dude. It’s the sesquipedalian prehensile tongue. 😛 Nah, its when they take their teeth out first that it gets good. For that you have to have a white daisy in the lapel of your Members Only jacket though. What? ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/52 "2009-07-29T17:05:49Z")
So I tried again, except this time I paired a sweet pair of jorts and a propeller beanie with my boots. I stood in the produce section of the supermarket for a few minutes, but the only thing the ladies did was point and laugh at me, and the produce manager eventually asked me to leave. If I can just hash out the kinks, I’m confident I can get this right. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/53 "2009-07-29T17:09:31Z")
You just don’t see Kiss-Me Keds anymore. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/54 "2009-07-29T17:13:31Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > . I stood in the produce section of the supermarket for a few minutes, but the only thing the ladies did was point and laugh at me, and the produce manager eventually asked me to leave. > > . Move AWAY from the cucumber section. Get next to the baby carrots. Remember, location, location, location! Also try charging them. People don’t want free stuff, but if they think they are getting a bargain, they will throw cash at you. Try 2 for one coupons. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/55 "2009-07-29T17:31:44Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > So I tried again, except this time I paired a sweet pair of jorts and a propeller beanie with my boots. I stood in the produce section of the supermarket for a few minutes, but the only thing the ladies did was point and laugh at me, and the produce manager eventually asked me to leave. > > If I can just hash out the kinks, I’m confident I can get this right. Kinks with hash are requested in frozen foods. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/56 "2009-07-29T19:13:12Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > So I tried again, except this time I paired a sweet pair of jorts and a propeller beanie with my boots. Again, the secret is to go with just the boots and the beanie everything else takes away from the focus. Unless it’s cold then certain things need to be kept warm to avoid underestimating. Now if you move from produce over to the warm food section of your deli that won’t be an issue. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/57 "2009-07-29T19:29:54Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > Unless it’s cold then certain things need to be kept warm to avoid underestimating. That’s kind of the whole point! ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/58 "2009-07-29T19:43:35Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > Again, the secret is to go with just the boots and the beanie everything else takes away from the focus. Maybe, but you should have seen the jorts. They were really sweet. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/59 "2009-07-29T19:47:24Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > Maybe, but you should have seen the jorts. They were really sweet. Of course, all jorts are sweet but they still have to be removed for the blowjob boots to do their work. If there is anything between the girl and the penis the effect is lessened. Next time buy a heat lamp and watch the magic work. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600/60 "2009-07-29T20:40:41Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Damn, can’t you folks get anything right? You put the candy(preferrably suckers) in your PANTS, not your hands. It not like feeding horses Obviously, I’ve been feeding the wrong horses! :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-bl-w-job-boots-for-a-reason/504600.md?page=4)