# They're called 'f\*ck me' shoes for a reason! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 27, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463 "2009-07-27T18:54:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/221 "2009-07-30T03:56:53Z")
No way, man, I was at my sexiest in my ballet flats. Why did they have to go and fall apart?! ---
**Author:** ![Quint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/76d3ee/32.png) [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/222 "2009-07-30T04:02:18Z")
Maybe your fella said all you would get was a quicky because, not getting any frequently, he suspected that proccedings might reach their climax in an unexpectedly hasty manner? I know this sometimes happens to a freind of mine, tho never of course to me. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/223 "2009-07-30T04:07:00Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > What counts is that if your prospective partner is within your weight / size limits would you rather have a plain girl who really got with the program, or a super model that acted bored and got pissed at you if you took over 3 minutes? No problem. I’ll be asleep in 2. ---
**Author:** ![Mom-of-Andrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/224 "2009-07-30T04:11:08Z")
> [@Quint](#): > > Maybe your fella said all you would get was a quicky because, not getting any frequently, he suspected that proccedings might reach their climax in an unexpectedly hasty manner? I know this sometimes happens to a freind of mine, tho never of course to me. Yeah, that also happens sometimes. But, sadly, a quickie also means limited foreplay. But thanks for putting him in a good light. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/225 "2009-07-30T07:52:33Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Women can (and do) exude lust in plain, white, waist-high cotton undies, complete with East German swimmer bra. Keep telling yourself that. Meanwhile most everyone else will keep fantasizing about actual hot people while they fuck whatever hoagly troll (with attitude) they’ve settled for because they can’t nail lingerie models. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/226 "2009-07-30T16:05:00Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > Keep telling yourself that. Meanwhile most everyone else will keep fantasizing about actual hot people while they fuck whatever hoagly troll (with attitude) they’ve settled for because they can’t nail lingerie models. But they won’t be fucking you, my friend, no matter how “hoagly” or trollish or what their attitude… ---
**Author:** ![yoyodyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a9a28c/32.png) [@yoyodyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyodyne)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/227 "2009-07-30T17:00:32Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > What counts is that if your prospective partner is within your weight / size limits would you rather have a plain girl who really got with the program, or a super model that acted bored and got pissed at you if you took over 3 minutes? Fallacy of the Excluded Middle. I’ll take both. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/228 "2009-07-30T17:39:49Z")
Come on, now, people. In the interest of keeping the communication clear, let’s remember that “fuck me shoes” (or “fuck me pumps”) is not simply a term for shoes that make you feel/look sexy (to whomever). They are heels. Not just heels, but heels high enough to give a woman a bit of strut and wiggle, possibly even high enough to make walking difficult, which doesn’t matter, because said woman does not intend to be standing around in them for long. Basically, fuck me shoes are heels sexy enough that both parties enjoy them actually being left on during sex, giving the whole affair a naughty, illicit, frenzied tone. This is not to be confused with fuck \*you \*shoes. It’s great to learn, 'cause knowledge is power! ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/229 "2009-07-30T17:48:37Z")
> [@filling\_pages](#): > > Come on, now, people. In the interest of keeping the communication clear, let’s remember that “fuck me shoes” (or “fuck me pumps”) is not simply a term for shoes that make you feel/look sexy (to whomever). They are heels. Not just heels, but heels high enough to give a woman a bit of strut and wiggle, possibly even high enough to make walking difficult, which doesn’t matter, because said woman does not intend to be standing around in them for long. > > Basically, fuck me shoes are heels sexy enough that both parties enjoy them actually being left on during sex, giving the whole affair a naughty, illicit, frenzied tone. > > This is not to be confused with fuck \*you \*shoes. > > It’s great to learn, 'cause knowledge is power! Who did you think didn’t know this? ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/230 "2009-07-30T17:57:32Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > No way, man, I was at my sexiest in my ballet flats. Why did they have to go and fall apart?! Here you go, reasonable prices and fast service: [http://www.discountdance.com/frame\_set.php3?mf=/dancewear/shoes/page1](http://www.discountdance.com/frame_set.php3?mf=/dancewear/shoes/page1) ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/231 "2009-07-30T17:58:25Z")
Now I’m growing increasingly paranoid over “After Me Lucky Charms.” ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/232 "2009-07-30T18:11:04Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Round these part, should a man jump his _wife_ while she’s asleep, there’s plenty that’s willing to call it rape. I mean, I’m not throwing any stones or anything, I’m just saying… :dubious: Some years ago a discussion on this matter took place in the Savage Love sex advice column. Savage’s position (and I’m inclined to agree with this) was that being married (or at least in a sexual relationship) implies _some_ measure of preexisting consent to certain liberties on the part of a partner- consent that does _not_ preexist between total strangers. Example: walk up behind your wife while she’s doing laundry, reach around and put your hands on her breasts? No problem. do the same to a strange woman at the laundromat? Expect a sexual assault charge, possibly a (justifiable) knee to the groin. Likewise, it doesn’t make sense to regard it as rape when someone attempts to ravish their long-term sexual partner’s body while they’re asleep; it only becomes rape/assault if the sexual machinations continue after the sleeper awakens and protests. ---
**Author:** ![Mom-of-Andrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/233 "2009-07-30T18:25:03Z")
> [@Joe Frickin Friday](#): > > …being married (or at least in a sexual relationship) implies _some_ measure of preexisting consent to certain liberties on the part of a partner- consent… > > \ > > Likewise, it doesn’t make sense to regard it as rape when someone attempts to ravish their long-term sexual partner’s body while they’re asleep; it only becomes rape/assault if the sexual machinations continue after the sleeper awakens and protests. That was kind of my working theory way back then, thogh I hadn’t worked it out in so many words. I’d add the caveat that if the partner said some variation on “No” earlier in the evening then the implied consent is revoked for that night. I respected that part of the theory as well. I’ll also add that this method of arousal is quickly abandoned if the partner wakes up and always refuses to participate. The ego overrides the libido pretty soon when you are faced with physical evidence that your SO _could,_ and still chooses not to. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/234 "2009-07-30T18:32:06Z")
> [@Joe Frickin Friday](#): > > Likewise, it doesn’t make sense to regard it as rape when someone attempts to ravish their long-term sexual partner’s body while they’re asleep; it only becomes rape/assault if the sexual machinations continue after the sleeper awakens and protests. Agreed. And can we quit the juvenile arguments and insults over what turns us on? What people _should_ find sexy is… whatever the fuck turns them on. Fat people, skinny people, smart people, mean people, looks, attitude, whatever. These dumb-ass discussions are always obnoxious. **ivn1188** , we are _not_ all bound by your definition of “hot.” I don’t want to bang the goddamned lingerie model; she’s too skinny. I don’t give a flying fuck if you’re not attracted to me because I’m fat, but you don’t have to be insulting about it. I found myself a boyfriend who likes fat girls. We go to the strip clubs together, look for the curviest girl there and buy a few dances off her. **eleanorigby** , physical looks do play a big part in sexual attraction, and I don’t think it’s _all_ about attitude, although it certainly plays a major part. (More for some than others, clearly.) ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/235 "2009-07-30T18:33:32Z")
> [@Joe Frickin Friday](#): > > Some years ago a discussion on this matter took place in the Savage Love sex advice column. Savage’s position (and I’m inclined to agree with this) was that being married (or at least in a sexual relationship) implies _some_ measure of preexisting consent to certain liberties on the part of a partner- consent that does _not_ preexist between total strangers. I thought of that column too, and now I’ve gone and [looked it up](http://www.citypages.com/2005-01-19/columns/savage-love/). > [@Dan Savage](#): > > When it comes to long-term sex partners–particularly live-ins, husbands, and wives–a certain implied consent can be taken for granted after a while, and you wouldn’t be the first married guy who initiated sex with his sleeping wife. Penetrating someone who’s asleep does push the envelope, I’ll admit, but so long as you talk this out with the wife in advance, and obtain her consent to either initiate oral sex sometime when she’s asleep or when she’s pretending to be asleep…well, I’m not going to make you any promises. It might go well, or you might get spooked. But it would be a shame if the trauma you suffered eight years ago deprived you and your wife the pleasure of exploring your sexual fantasies now. And in a later column: > [@Dan Savage](#): > > To clarify, when I wrote about “implied consent” this is what I was picturing: As much as I might like to, I would never approach a strange man, however attractive he might be, and shove my dick into the crack of his ass without first getting his explicit verbal consent. That would be sexual assault, and it would be wrong. But I do that sort of thing to my boyfriend, gosh, all the time. For the most part, my boyfriend welcomes my sexual advances, doll that he is, and on those occasions when he says no, I slink back to my side of the bed and read the National Review. Did I sexually assault him? No, I have his implied consent to initiate sex whenever I care to, just as he has my implied consent to do the same, and we both reserve the right to say no when we’re not in the mood. > > And it’s that kind of consent–the consent to initiate, even if initiation takes a form that would be regarded as sexual assault if it were attempted on anyone else–that is frequently taken for granted in stable, long-term relationships like mine and TBW’s. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/236 "2009-07-30T18:43:03Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Who did you think didn’t know this? Anyone who thinks flats count as fuck me shoes. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/237 "2009-07-30T18:53:34Z")
> [@filling\_pages](#): > > They are heels. Which baffles me, because I find heels to be the least sexy footwear of all time. (I include moccasins, steel-toed boots, bare feet, and Ronald McDonald’s shoes in that assessment. Likewise, wtf is up with bright red lipstick being considered attractive? It’s repulsive.) Of course, this is my opinion and I do not suggest it is or should be universal. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/238 "2009-07-30T18:57:03Z")
> [@filling\_pages](#): > > Anyone who thinks flats count as fuck me shoes. Ballet slippers might not be fuck me shoes to wear to the club, but an ex-girlfriend dancer would put hers on, then do these amazingly limber motions that were a clear statement of invitation. Fuck me shoes, clothes, etc. are in the eye of the beholder. Lingerie is a grand blunt weapon. My tattered bathrobe, however, when worn by my wife is just as powerful if she so desires. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/239 "2009-07-30T19:15:08Z")
> [@BlackKnight](#): > > Of course, this is my opinion and I do not suggest it is or should be universal. That’s a beautiful sentence. Some people should have it tattooed to the inside of their eyelids. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/240 "2009-07-30T19:16:10Z")
> [@BlackKnight](#): > > Which baffles me, because I find heels to be the least sexy footwear of all time. I’m not hot on heels, either, but “fuck-me shoes,” as that phrase is used colloquially, are high heels. I’m all down with the “sexy is what you make it” idea, but the phrase has a common meaning, and ballet shoes it ain’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463.md?page=13)