# They're called 'f\*ck me' shoes for a reason! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 27, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463 "2009-07-27T18:54:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/101 "2009-07-28T13:44:19Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > I can vouch that nothing kills performance like the command “do it right now, buster”. I suspect it may be a case of performance anxiety on his part. Also, have you asked him what he would like you to wear? Sometimes what women think are our turn-ons are anything but. Just came in to say that this works both ways. To the OP, I’m sorry your evening didn’t work out. I’ve been there (and gotten mighty tired of doing all the heavy lifting). IME, there isn’t much to be done. If you’re still able to get toe curling sex with him upon occasion, that’s not a bad thing. I am no fan of either party being expected to perform “on demand”. I have no advice to give, just some sympathy and a question: is this enough for you? Only you can answer that. I wish you well, no matter your decision. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/102 "2009-07-28T13:57:17Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Where did I err? The cutting wit, the oozing sarcasm, or not being old? Depending on how you define old, it’s all wrong. > [@ivn1188](#): > > The OP actually made me laugh. I have little sympathy, for several reasons: > > First, three inch heels are by no means “fuck me” pumps. I’ve seen sunday school teachers and grandmas in three inch heels. > > Secondly, you’re probably fat and the internet has lots of tits for free. > > Thirdly, and most importantly, it is sweet sweet revenge for the amount of time, effort, and money young men have to spend in order to sample the sweet treasures of womanhood unless said young man is either willing to settle for a hambeast, butterface, or attention whore, or unless the young man is improbably good looking and/or wealthy. (Ask yourself how often you wonder if a guy puts out on the first date; the only proper answer is “Mu!”) > > Also, get divorced and don’t have any more kids. Your weaksauce rant/sympathy ploy endumbens us all. I’ve decided I’m not going to feel bad about laughing at ivn’s posts anymore. Sure, he’s kind of an ass, but the man is hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/103 "2009-07-28T13:59:27Z")
> [@SSG\_Schwartz](#): > > WNow I see people advising a woman in a committed relationship, who has promised her partner that she would divorce him before she would ever cheat on him, to go fuck someone to improve her relationship. So if she follows this advise, in addition to feeling rejected by her husband she would also have to feel the guilt of being unfaithful to him. Not for the sex act, that could probably be forgiven ( I don’t know, I am not the OP) but for the deception of having the affair that she promised she would never have again. First off, I wasn’t in that Pit thread. I certainly don’t speak for the entire Dope. Second, I said to keep it under wraps so no one ever finds out. How’s the kid going to be less forgiving if he never knows? And third, if she’s going to feel guilty about it, well then that just defeats the purpose. I mentioned it’s not for everyone and if she feels bad afterward, then she’s obviously one of those people. Bottom line, **MoA** , if you want to go have an affair, there is at least one person here (me) that’s not going to criticize you for it. I don’t buy into the whole “affairs are always wrong” idea. In my opinion, you’re justified here. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/104 "2009-07-28T14:14:06Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > The OP actually made me laugh. I have little sympathy, for several reasons: > > First, three inch heels are by no means “fuck me” pumps. I’ve seen sunday school teachers and grandmas in three inch heels. > > Secondly, you’re probably fat and the internet has lots of tits for free. > > Thirdly, and most importantly, it is sweet sweet revenge for the amount of time, effort, and money young men have to spend in order to sample the sweet treasures of womanhood unless said young man is either willing to settle for a hambeast, butterface, or attention whore, or unless the young man is improbably good looking and/or wealthy. (Ask yourself how often you wonder if a guy puts out on the first date; the only proper answer is “Mu!”) > > Also, get divorced and don’t have any more kids. Your weaksauce rant/sympathy ploy endumbens us all. What a mean, petty thing to say. Why bother? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/105 "2009-07-28T14:26:11Z")
Best first OP evah! Welcome to the Dope, **M-o-A**. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/106 "2009-07-28T14:33:36Z")
> [@Mom-of-Andrew](#): > > _And really, saying you’d like sex later is not a turn on?_ Hell yes it is! As far as I’m concerned Mrs BD can say that all she wants. If she wants to whisper it in my ear before breakfast, schedule it weeks in advance, send it to my blackberry, pencil it in on the calender, have her service call mine, petition congress for a declaration of a national sex holiday, or resurrect Rodney Dangerfield to proclaim," Hey everybody! We’re all gonna get laid!" - I’m sporting a mini chubby right up to the grand moment itself. What the fuck is wrong with you people? It’s SEX for Og’s sake! Do you understand? When she schedules it that means you’re going to get laid! What kind of a prissy, momma’s boy says,“ooooooh that’s too coarse for my dainty ears. I’m turned off”? Shame on you! Turn in your wieners at the desk please! ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/107 "2009-07-28T14:37:47Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Hell yes it is! As far as I’m concerned Mrs BD can say that all she wants. If she wants to whisper it in my ear before breakfast, schedule it weeks in advance, send it to my blackberry, pencil it in on the calender, have her service call mine, petition congress for a declaration of a national sex holiday, or resurrect Rodney Dangerfield to proclaim," Hey everybody! We’re all gonna get laid!" - I’m sporting a mini chubby right up to the grand moment itself. > > What the fuck is wrong with you people? It’s SEX for Og’s sake! Do you understand? When she schedules it that means you’re going to get laid! > > What kind of a prissy, momma’s boy says,“ooooooh that’s too coarse for my dainty ears. I’m turned off”? > > Shame on you! Turn in your wieners at the desk please! LOL, how true, although there is something to be said for spontaneity. But, at the end of the day, being a man, I’ll take it when I can get it for it’s never enough. My wife’s attitude if I try to get frisky and she’s not interested is like “What, you just had some last week, that should hold you over for awhile!”. Umm…no. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/108 "2009-07-28T14:45:37Z")
> [@SSG\_Schwartz](#): > > We touch and cuddle and slap and tease, but we have come to learn to live with our differences. Then you’re getting a hell of a lot more than it sounds like the OP is. If you had to _ask_ for something as simple as her sitting on the couch with you while you both watch tv, internet porn and whatever action you can get from her probably wouldn’t look like such a great deal and you wouldn’t be so grateful to have her. The OP isn’t starved for sex, she’s starved for attention and basic physical contact. > [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](#): > > For me, sex isn’t a road map - It doesn’t start at one point and end at another. If we aren’t pinching butts at the moment than discussing sex with my partner isn’t _sexy_. Being asked if I want to have sex later in the day by a person brushing their teeth in a damp towel isn’t an invitation, it is a board meeting. I think maybe we’re talking past each other on this subject. Women are talking about pinching butts/licking necks/squeezing crotches at a time when having sex isn’t feasible for whatever reason, and offering some action when it is feasible. Guys seem to be talking about someone just turning to you in the middle of a conversation about replacing the water heater and saying, “Hey, you wanna do it after dinner? I got a free half hour.” I’d agree the latter is a definite turn-off. But the former? Really? And guys say women make no damn sense. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/109 "2009-07-28T14:50:00Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > If my wife wanted it from me she gets it. She hardly ever wants it, of course, unless she’s had a few drinks, but… > > Yeah. Boggles my mind, how these women all ended up with guys that aren’t doing their thing, and I have (TWICE) gotten married to someone with MUCH less libido than I. IME, women _think_ they’re hornier than they actually are- ie., they remember 15 times in the last month when they wanted to get nailed and didn’t, but actually there were only three. Either that, or they’re just not very good at communcating when they’ve got the horn. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/110 "2009-07-28T14:59:35Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > My wife’s attitude if I try to get frisky and she’s not interested is like “What, you just had some last week, that should hold you over for awhile!”. > > Umm…no. Every time I hear either sex complaining about sex frequency, I flash back to all those Ann Landers columns over the years. How many times was somebody bitching about he/she is bugging me for sex EVERY day (or I want it every day and I aint gettin it). Or the opposite, I cant get sex/dont wanna have sex more than a few times a year. Be glad you (the nearly everybody you) arent in either of those extremes. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/111 "2009-07-28T15:12:29Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Every time I hear either sex complaining about sex frequency, I flash back to all those Ann Landers columns over the years. > > How many times was somebody bitching about he/she is bugging me for sex EVERY day (or I want it every day and I aint gettin it). Or the opposite, I cant get sex/dont wanna have sex more than a few times a year. > > Be glad you (the nearly everybody you) arent in either of those extremes. My attitude on the matter is that as we age, the opportunity and or the ability to continue to have sex becomes eroded eventually into nothing. So, while we’re able, we should do it as often as we can (hey, we’re married, honey, right?). I’ve got a finite supply of boners and each one not used draws me closer to eternal flaccidity. Edit: and I likely won’t be able to afford a Corvette in my mid-50’s to compensate, either. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/112 "2009-07-28T15:52:48Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > My attitude on the matter is that as we age, the opportunity and or the ability to continue to have sex becomes eroded eventually into nothing. So, while we’re able, we should do it as often as we can (hey, we’re married, honey, right?). > > I’ve got a finite supply of boners and each one not used draws me closer to eternal flaccidity. > > Edit: and I likely won’t be able to afford a Corvette in my mid-50’s to compensate, either. [Instant boner](http://www.cars.com/go/search/detail.jsp;?tracktype=usedcc&searchType=22&pageNumber=0&numResultsPerPage=50&largeNumResultsPerPage=0&sortorder=ascending&sortfield=PRICE+ascending%2cPRICE+descending&certifiedOnly=false&criteria=K-%7cE-ALL%7cM-_29_%7cH-%7cN-N%7cR-10000%7cI-1%2c7%7cP-PRICE+ascending%2cPRICE+descending%7cQ-ascending%7cX-popular%7cZ-80130&aff=national&paId=316469384&recnum=18&leadExists=true). On _really_ tough days you can use the engine. Corvette = Midlife crisis. Elise = Midlife crisis? So? You getting in or what? ---
**Author:** ![Mom-of-Andrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/113 "2009-07-28T16:23:37Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > The OP actually made me laugh. I have little sympathy, for several reasons: > > First, three inch heels are by no means “fuck me” pumps. I’ve seen sunday school teachers and grandmas in three inch heels. > > Secondly, you’re probably fat and the internet has lots of tits for free. > > Thirdly, and most importantly, it is sweet sweet revenge for the amount of time, effort, and money young men have to spend in order to sample the sweet treasures of womanhood unless said young man is either willing to settle for a hambeast, butterface, or attention whore, or unless the young man is improbably good looking and/or wealthy. (Ask yourself how often you wonder if a guy puts out on the first date; the only proper answer is “Mu!”) > > Also, get divorced and don’t have any more kids. Your weaksauce rant/sympathy ploy endumbens us all. Finally, a flame worthy of the Pit! I’ve been waiting… But to answer your points: First, remember the whole dizzy thing? Five inch heels aren’t possible right now (and I only own one pair anyway). Even with the three inch heels, I had to hang all over hubby’s arm to walk straight. (Gotta admit, that was also part of the plan at the time…) Second: 5’ 6", 136lbs. Down from 150 in January. Not perfect, but still inside the insurance company charts. About the tits, I wear a DD cup. And I had on a push-up bra. (for the record, hubby is 6’ 3" and 195lbs. And runs regularly. _Much_ better shape than I am) Third: I’m here, so I guess that qualifies as attention whore. You got me there. and finally: Yep, should have gone to MPSIMS. I knew it. I like you ivn. You’re funny. ---
**Author:** ![Mom-of-Andrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/114 "2009-07-28T16:26:09Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I’ve decided I’m not going to feel bad about laughing at ivn’s posts anymore. Sure, he’s kind of an ass, but the man is hilarious. Me too! ---
**Author:** ![Mom-of-Andrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/115 "2009-07-28T16:29:10Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Best first OP evah! > > Welcome to the Dope, **M-o-A**. Thanks. I’m feeling the love. And the support. Like Marquis de la Grange said, “When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.” I’d hold the flashlight while you picked the lock any day… ---
**Author:** ![Mom-of-Andrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/116 "2009-07-28T16:31:02Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > What the fuck is wrong with you people? It’s SEX for Og’s sake! Do you understand? When she schedules it that means you’re going to get laid! Yes! This is exactly how I felt at the time. It’s about getting laid! ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/117 "2009-07-28T16:47:44Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Hell yes it is! As far as I’m concerned Mrs BD can say that all she wants. If she wants to whisper it in my ear before breakfast, schedule it weeks in advance, send it to my blackberry, pencil it in on the calender, have her service call mine, petition congress for a declaration of a national sex holiday, or resurrect Rodney Dangerfield to proclaim," Hey everybody! We’re all gonna get laid!" - I’m sporting a mini chubby right up to the grand moment itself. > > What the fuck is wrong with you people? It’s SEX for Og’s sake! Do you understand? When she schedules it that means you’re going to get laid! > > What kind of a prissy, momma’s boy says,“ooooooh that’s too coarse for my dainty ears. I’m turned off”? > > Shame on you! Turn in your wieners at the desk please! No only yes, but hell yes to this. **M-O-A** If only my wife would do some of the things you have done. [sigh] I would love to have a partner that did some or all of things you have done. ---
**Author:** ![Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hero_From_Sector_7G)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/118 "2009-07-28T16:53:37Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Don’t listen to them - this is not your fault. Your husband isn’t interested in sex - he’s the aberrant one. Yeah, don’t listen to the people offering advice how to change the situation. Blame you husband, sit back, and watch everything get better magically. When my car won’t start I don’t yell at the alternator for being a stupid worthless part. Yeah, it isn’t my fault it broke, but something has to be done none-the-less. It sucks I have to fix it, but 99% of the rest of the time the alternator does a hell of a lot more work than I do charging that battery. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/119 "2009-07-28T17:03:12Z")
Woman signalling she wants some: sema-whore. ---
**Author:** ![Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hero_From_Sector_7G)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/120 "2009-07-28T17:07:52Z")
> [@Mom-of-Andrew](#): > > Yes! This is exactly how I felt at the time. It’s about getting laid! Men in long term relationships are more complicated than a 16 year old boy at a party. Don’t treat us like horny boys - that is insulting. In all, I’m fascinated by this thread. People in relationships have different libido levels. This case just happens to be reversed from the norm. Would a woman go from cold to fuck beast just because her husband put on nice clothes, slapped her laptop lid shut, and said “IT IS FUCK TIME!!!” Of course not. Men and women aren’t all that different from each other in terms of what gets them aroused, if you believe otherwise stop reading Cosmo and grow up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463.md?page=7)