# They're called 'f\*ck me' shoes for a reason! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 27, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463 "2009-07-27T18:54:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/121 "2009-07-28T17:09:34Z")
_Hambeast and Butterface:_ 70’s cop buddy picture, or Thursday’s menu at Who-ville Elementary? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/122 "2009-07-28T17:09:52Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Woman signalling she wants some: sema-whore. If its on a whole nother level? meta-whore ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/123 "2009-07-28T17:11:32Z")
> [@Mom-of-Andrew](#): > > Second: 5’ 6", 136lbs. Down from 150 in January. Not perfect, but still inside the insurance company charts. About the tits, I wear a DD cup. And I had on a push-up bra. Post pictures please. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/124 "2009-07-28T17:11:45Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > _Hambeast and Butterface:_ 70’s cop buddy picture, or Thursday’s menu at Who-ville Elementary? New hosts of the pre-Oscars red carpet show, actually. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/125 "2009-07-28T17:13:16Z")
I really shouldn’t be giving him any positive feedback, but I am enjoying the irony of a post that castigates someone and then uses the “word” _endumben._ It’s classic. Should I bother pointing out the FMPS are a state of mind? I’ve had some FM ballet flats in my time… ---
**Author:** ![Mom-of-Andrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/126 "2009-07-28T17:24:29Z")
> [@Michael\_Ellis](#): > > Post pictures please. Dream on. Besides, the face ruins the whole effect. And I do still have a jelly belly I’m working on. Not to mention that I’m so pale I make Morticia Adams look tan. At least I have killer legs. (In my own mind. I’m not about to look for independent verification of something so subjective.) ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/127 "2009-07-28T17:27:39Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > I really shouldn’t be giving him any positive feedback, but I am enjoying the irony of a post that castigates someone and then uses the “word” _endumben._ Why? It’s a perfectly promulent word. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/128 "2009-07-28T17:28:18Z")
You’re just out to convince us that your husband is insane, aren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/129 "2009-07-28T17:31:07Z")
> [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](#): > > Yeah, don’t listen to the people offering advice how to change the situation. Blame you husband, sit back, and watch everything get better magically. She has changed things. You really think the problem is that she said, “I want sex tonight?” because that put too much pressure on him? You really think the problem is she wore black lace? The guy hasn’t put out regularly for many years. Which of this wonderful advice about what she’s doing wrong should she try? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/130 "2009-07-28T17:37:59Z")
> [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](#): > > Would a woman go from cold to fuck beast just because her husband put on nice clothes, slapped her laptop lid shut, and said “IT IS FUCK TIME!!!” I’m going to have to think about that. How hot is he? Anyway, it would certainly give me a good laugh. I think most women get to a point, though usually before marriage, where they realize that however much info they get indicating the opposite, the eternally-horny male is pretty much a myth. It’s a bruise to the ego, if only because you’ve been getting the message that men never turn down sex, so you must be _really_ unattractive or unskilled. We’ve also got people telling the OP she was probably too subtle… or not subtle enough. They’re all right – on a personal level. The trouble is that at this point, it would be nice for her to know what her own husband likes (versus internet strangers), and him, her. So even if he doesn’t care for fuck me heels, he knows when she puts them on she’s interested in sex. He probably has his own signals, too. Also, regarding the affair – even if they’ve made amends, I don’t doubt that it’s still present in his mind. If this is the case, however, it means they need help – not just because she’s unsatisfied, but because he sounds terribly unhappy. But above all, he should get a physical. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/131 "2009-07-28T17:55:31Z")
I’m not sure what good a physical would do. It sounds psychological to me. Thinking back over the last six relationships I was in, the sex died in all but one of them, and that one ended after just a couple of months. In two of them it was the women that lost interest. One never really got the point of sex in the first place, and the other got less interested when she realized I wasn’t going to marry her. In the other three, I was horny as hell – just not for the women I was with. I valued them highly, but I stopped seeing them as sex objects. Sad to say, but honest. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/132 "2009-07-28T17:58:34Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > I think most women get to a point, though usually before marriage, where they realize that however much info they get indicating the opposite, the eternally-horny male is pretty much a myth. It’s a bruise to the ego, if only because you’ve been getting the message that men never turn down sex, so you must be _really_ unattractive or unskilled. And to be told (over and over and over again) that men have “needs” (like women don’t) and that daily/hourly/weekly/whatever frequency sex is a must to keep him satisfied just feeds this myth that men are all horn-dogs. The woman is bound to think (especially if porn is involved here) that is not that he doesn’t want sex; he just doesn’t want it with HER. And that may well be true. That doesn’t stop it from hurting. In general, men are shooting themselves in the foot when they say stuff like that (just as a woman would do if she stipulated how often). I get that adult life with kids and jobs etc doesn’t allow for tons of spontaneity, but having sex on a To Do List is a real mood killer. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/133 "2009-07-28T18:42:30Z")
> [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](#): > > Men in long term relationships are more complicated than a 16 year old boy at a party. Don’t treat us like horny boys - that is insulting. No, go ahead. It’s alright really. > [@](#): > > In all, I’m fascinated by this thread. People in relationships have different libido levels. This case just happens to be reversed from the norm. Would a woman go from cold to fuck beast just because her husband put on nice clothes, slapped her laptop lid shut, and said “IT IS FUCK TIME!!!” Of course not. In my perfect world this happens all the time except the clothes requirement. There’s also pie afterwords. > [@](#): > > Men and women aren’t all that different from each other in terms of what gets them aroused, if you believe otherwise stop reading Cosmo and grow up. Is that a fact? I would have thought that men get aroused quite easily from visual clues while women have more of a conceptual approach. Kindof like the Penthouse vs romance novel issue. So if we’re not all that different why is the porn industry targeted heavily towards men? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/134 "2009-07-28T18:47:32Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > …my perfect world this happens all the time except the clothes requirement. There’s also pie afterwords… Admit it, 'fess up. You do it for the pie. ---
**Author:** ![Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hero_From_Sector_7G)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/135 "2009-07-28T18:50:34Z")
> [@bup](#): > > She has changed things. You really think the problem is that she said, “I want sex tonight?” because that put too much pressure on him? You really think the problem is she wore black lace? The guy hasn’t put out regularly for many years. Which of this wonderful advice about what she’s doing wrong should she try? I have no clue what the problem is. I offered my own experience as a reference to why what she was is doing might not be as sexy as she thinks. I am probably wrong regarding her specific case, but at least she has another perspective as to what might be happening. You reinforced the stereotype of the eternally horny male. Well played bro - congratulatory fist bump. ---
**Author:** ![Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hero_From_Sector_7G)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/136 "2009-07-28T19:03:50Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Kind of like the Penthouse vs romance novel issue. Have you _read_ a romance novel? > [@](#): > > So if we’re not all that different why is the porn industry targeted heavily towards men? There are a lot of reasons, none of them due to the libido of either gender. Any man who thinks women, in general, have lower libidos than men is a fool. There are different socialistic pressures on each gender that certainly effect expression of desire, but in the dark both sexes want it just as bad. Fist bump for you too - bro. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/137 "2009-07-28T19:13:17Z")
> [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](#): > > Any man who thinks women, in general, have lower libidos than men is a fool. There are different socialistic pressures on each gender that certainly effect expression of desire, but in the dark both sexes want it just as bad. > > . I agree. Having said that, I certainly think society and women are pushing that concept hard. I think its to keep the “price” artifically high. Free milk and all that… ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/138 "2009-07-28T19:16:32Z")
**Hero** , you clearly don’t have kids. And you might think you’re married, but you’re playing house. My guess is that you’re not married though. You have provided the helpful advice that planning for sex kills it, and that the best sex is when you just start halfway through making dinner because it’s so fukkkin sexay in the kitchen. Also during movies. If **MoA** waited for that, her sex-event frequency would be around zero. > [@](#): > > Any man who thinks women, in general, have lower libidos than men is a fool. Bull shit. You are basing it on your sample of twenty-something women who have never had kids. Did I get close to the mark? I’m not saying that men are horny all the time. I’m saying that if you love your partner, and you’re their only outlet for actual sex, you make the fucking effort sometimes. If you never do, there’s a problem, and it’s not how the person who wants sex is asking for it. **MoA** , when’s the last time your husband initiated sex? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/139 "2009-07-28T19:34:16Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > What the fuck is wrong with you people? It’s SEX for Og’s sake! Do you understand? When she schedules it that means you’re going to get laid! > > What kind of a prissy, momma’s boy says,“ooooooh that’s too coarse for my dainty ears. I’m turned off”? Hell, I appreciate that sort of heads-up. My Mrs. has a weird habit of going into full-on sex-mode at odd times (like immediately after the final bite of a big sloppy meal, or as the credits start to roll on some completely non-sexy movie.) She doesn’t have any interest in foreplay, either - it’s pretty much “Penetrate me now and for the next half-hour.” Then the big sulk, and I’m all “Geez, if we waited until I didn’t feel like I had a ten-gallon aquarium in place of my torso, things might work out a bit better.” “Scheduling” has always been a bit dodgy 'cuz for some reason bedtime is unambiguously sleep-time. I shouldn’t whine though – it’s been much better lately. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463/140 "2009-07-28T19:44:15Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > IME, women _think_ they’re hornier than they actually are- ie., they remember 15 times in the last month when they wanted to get nailed and didn’t, but actually there were only three. (In a split screen) **Alvy Singer’s Therapist:** How often do you sleep together? **Annie Hall’s Therapist:** Do you have sex often? **Alvy Singer:** [lamenting] Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week. **Annie Hall:** [annoyed] Constantly. I’d say three times a week. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-called-f-ck-me-shoes-for-a-reason/504463.md?page=8)