# They're going to cut off my nuts. What should I do? What's gonna happen? (Vasectomy) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 7, 2017, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723 "2017-09-07T12:42:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/21 "2017-09-08T17:42:16Z")
> [@Cyros](#): > > Did a quick survey of my friends during a night of drinking. Three of the 4 of us had to go back a second time. I highly recommend giving the sample! wow. If I were having sex with anyone who could get pregnant, I definitely would. When you say “go back a second time,” do you mean more surgery, or give a second sample (which turned out okay)? ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/22 "2017-09-08T18:49:55Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Did he do the one about how “there is a _vas deferens_ between having kids and not having them”? > > Also: [obligatory Family Guy clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-zfW9rzOOg). Yep! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/23 "2017-09-08T19:14:08Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > The worst part was getting into a joke exchange with my doc during the procedure. > > He stopped after the first one and said that if I wanted to end the procedure there, we could but I would go through life being half-vassed. The pun war and sorry jokes then started, to the point where his nurse was laughing so hard that she was crying and the doc had to stop a couple of times because either he or I was laughing too hard. > > Trust a urologist to have a ready supply of dick jokes. Was he a large, beefy man? Then he would be a meaty urologist. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/24 "2017-09-08T19:33:31Z")
One important thing to remember is to throw out the bag of frozen peas after you’ve recovered. Because no one wants to eat your nutsack peas. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/25 "2017-09-08T20:41:18Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > … your nutsack peas. Band name. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/26 "2017-09-08T20:55:15Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > One important thing to remember is to throw out the bag of frozen peas after you’ve recovered. Because no one wants to eat your nutsack peas. (Woman here) At least they’re cheap. DEFINITELY do the follow-up sperm sample, and use some form of birth control until you’re given the all-clear. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/27 "2017-09-08T21:32:53Z")
I had mine done on Halloween. The doctor wore vampire fangs - that was a bit disturbing. The worst thing I recall was the shaving part. Recovery was no problem. I think they told me to stay home three days which I gladly did. And not having to worry about birth control ever again improved our sex life, in case you were worried about that. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/28 "2017-09-08T22:27:32Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > When you say “go back a second time,” do you mean more surgery, or give a second sample (which turned out okay)? We all had to go back for a second surgery. All different doctors and different parts of the country. It ready sucked because I found the 2nd time much more painful during the procedure. After it was done there was about the same amount of discomfort (not much). ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/29 "2017-09-09T08:53:53Z")
Sex is better when your partner knows you cannot impregnate her. A lot better, ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/30 "2017-09-09T11:31:09Z")
Hopefully it will not be like my friend’s experience. While recovering the next day, his wife returned from a Dr appointment with the news that she was pregnant. Their timing was a little off. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/31 "2017-09-09T12:45:05Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Also: [obligatory Family Guy clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-zfW9rzOOg). [Rick and Morty’s thought on the matter.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piRIIvCjuKs) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/32 "2017-09-09T21:25:41Z")
I survived. [http://middleagedjoker.com/vasectomy-the-aftermath/](http://middleagedjoker.com/vasectomy-the-aftermath/) ---
**Author:** ![FinsToTheLeft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finstotheleft/32/2930_2.png) [@FinsToTheLeft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinsToTheLeft)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/33 "2017-09-09T22:02:28Z")
Valium? Seriously? I didn’t even get an EMLA patch. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/34 "2017-09-09T22:48:57Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Was he a large, beefy man? Then he would be a meaty urologist. Or could have been one of those rookie neurologists. ---
**Author:** ![pythonzzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@pythonzzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pythonzzz)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2017, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/35 "2017-09-10T00:39:36Z")
Rhett and Link get a vasectomy together: [We Got Vasectomies Together - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8f_aHL1ALI) Their doctor… Dr Hyman ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2017, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/36 "2017-09-10T01:46:36Z")
> [@Eddie The Horrible](#): > > Or could have been one of those rookie neurologists. Unless if you’re having law enforcement issues, then a copthamologist can be helpful, or, get shown the way by a pathologist, and if it’s up a mountain, maybe a climatologist. And this is coming from one slut-mongering horologist, who occasionally gets easily grossed out by things and has to go see an ichthyologist. ok I’m good now - got that all out of the system. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2017, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/37 "2017-09-10T01:50:16Z")
Always check to make sure your doctor has steady hands. But seriously though, whatever you do, don’t finance the procedure, because if you miss a payment, they’ll come knock up your wife. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2017, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/38 "2017-09-10T15:24:55Z")
A friend had a vasectomy and quite soon afterwards he lifted and brought into the house a Christmas tree with the ball of earth still tied up at the bottom, so they could plant it after Christmas. His scrotum swelled up so big he wound up looking kind of like the tree. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2017, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/39 "2017-09-10T17:30:56Z")
> [@Napier](#): > > A friend had a vasectomy and quite soon afterwards he lifted and brought into the house a Christmas tree with the ball of earth still tied up at the bottom, so they could plant it after Christmas. His scrotum swelled up so big he wound up looking kind of like the tree. Fitting, because his balls were only ornamental at that point. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2017, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723/40 "2017-09-11T04:46:49Z")
> [@Caffeine.addict](#): > > snip > I checked the pipes to make sure they still worked on Saturday. The blood in the ejaculated was disconcerting but I had been warned it was possible so I didn’t panic. Wish the doc had warned me about that when I had mine done. Startled the hell out of me, I [del]screamed[/del] yelled, scared the hell out of my wife, she just about took the door hinges off coming into the bathroom thinking I had slipped and fallen in the shower. Its funny now, nearly 30 years later, but back then, not so much. To the OP, dude, this is one of the few very truly legitmate reasons you will ever have to spend the weekend lazing on the couch eating potato chips and drinking all weekend, don’t waste it at a casino that you can go to anytime. Unless you like pain and suffering of the worst sort for a male that is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-going-to-cut-off-my-nuts-what-should-i-do-whats-gonna-happen-vasectomy/795723.md?page=3)