# They're just snowboards, chill the fuck out already! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 28, 2008, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968 "2008-10-28T17:51:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/1 "2008-10-28T17:51:22Z")
Being in Vermont, I have the “luxury” of getting bombarded constantly with news stories, op-ed pieces, and so forth about the current [Burton “controversy.”](http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/article/20081028/NEWS02/81027040&referrer=FRONTPAGECAROUSEL) Long story short: Burton made two new snowbard lines, called “Love” and “Primo.” Love has pictures of vintage Playboty models on them (the most you can see is part of an ass,) and “Primo” has cartoonish self-mutilation. You can see them in a gallery in the news article. Well, because of these boards, every whining little candy-ass cunt-douche is coming out of the woodwork to protest, complain, and otherwise be a God-damn fuck-nugget. “Won’t someone think of the children” is the exact rallying cry used by these morons. Now, several ski mountains have banned their employees from using the boards while on duty, which is about as much as they can do. Because, God forbid some child saw part of a woman’s ass…:rolleyes: And then there’s this: > [@](#): > > The Love and Primo boards, part of Burton’s Coalition line, are sold only in “core” retailers and are a limited edition. Only 1,000 Love boards and fewer than 1,000 Primo boards were produced for the 2009 line. In a statement from the company earlier in the month, Burton expects the boards to become collector’s items and the likelihood of seeing one on the slopes is slim. So less than 2000 of these…spread over the whole country. By the way these idiots were going on you’d think that Burton was forcing every snow boarder to buy one and shove it in their face. I do applaud Burton, though, for not backing down and standing firm. > [@](#): > > The Burton Playboy limited edition snowboards were created at the request of two of Burton’s professional snowboarders Mikkel Bang and Keegan Valaika. Both Burton and Playboy were founded on principles of individual freedom, and the collaboration has resulted in boards that reflect this attitude. The imagery on the boards is tastefully done, and we believe that they will be collector’s items. The 1000 snowboards will be fully wrapped with an 18+ age disclaimer to purchase. > > Burton has a long history of working with artists on snowboard graphics. When collaborating with an artist, Burton does not restrict the artist’s freedom of expression. The Primo graphic was created by world-renowned skate artist Todd Bratrud, who has worked on projects for such companies as Vans, Volcom and Flip Skateboards. Burton is proud to collaborate with artists like Todd. The only downside is that a couple charities that Burton helped with have decided to stop working with Burton. They charities did find other sponsors, though, so it’s not like they stopped entirely. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/2 "2008-10-28T17:53:27Z")
And they said Puritanism would never catch on. ---
**Author:** ![Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/13edae/32.png) [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interconnected_Series_of_Tubes)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/3 "2008-10-28T17:55:04Z")
Oh no! **ASSES!** D: ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/4 "2008-10-28T17:57:11Z")
You’re whining because an employer is telling its employees what is tasteful equipment to be used on its premises? Shit that’s horrible. Next thing you know some employers will be forcing their own guidelines about the types of clothing they expect their employees to wear while working!!! ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/5 "2008-10-28T18:13:24Z")
Heh heh. “Chill out”. Cause they’re snowboards, and snow is cold. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/6 "2008-10-28T18:16:23Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > You’re whining because an employer is telling its employees what is tasteful equipment to be used on its premises? Yeah, that’s the sum total of the OP’s complaint. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/7 "2008-10-28T18:21:27Z")
I think the resorts are being entirely reasonable in banning the boards for their employees. It’s like having a calendar of those playboy models in the customer waiting room. As a female boarder I wouldn’t much like taking snowboard lessons from a guy with a giant naked woman on his board. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/8 "2008-10-28T18:21:52Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > You’re whining because an employer is telling its employees what is tasteful equipment to be used on its premises? > > Shit that’s horrible. Next thing you know some employers will be forcing their own guidelines about the types of clothing they expect their employees to wear while working!!! Ignoring the fact that that’s hardly the OP’s only gripe, that’s analogous to a tattoo parlor requiring its employees to have only “tasteful” body art. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/9 "2008-10-28T18:26:21Z")
Well, I suppose it’s a damn good thing that snowboards, skateboards, and skis have no history whatsoever with displaying risque, weird, and countercultural art. No history at all. Seriously. WTF? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/10 "2008-10-28T18:36:20Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Ignoring the fact that that’s hardly the OP’s only gripe Clue me in here – what other gripes did he make? I must be missing something. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/11 "2008-10-28T18:39:58Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I must be missing something. You are. > [@](#): > > The only downside is that a couple charities that Burton helped with have decided to stop working with Burton. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/12 "2008-10-28T18:45:34Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > You are. OK, I guess there’s that. The thing is, people can be really funny about nudity. Whether or not we personally find it offensive, there will always be those that do. If a charity can lose credibility over something like that, then it hurts those who receive that charity. They can stick to their guns about the right to publicly display pootytang, but at what cost? It looks like they made a decision in the best interest of their charges. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/13 "2008-10-28T18:47:34Z")
> [@Gaudere](#): > > I think the resorts are being entirely reasonable in banning the boards for their employees. It’s like having a calendar of those playboy models in the customer waiting room. As a female boarder I wouldn’t much like taking snowboard lessons from a guy with a giant naked woman on his board. None of these boards have “giant naked women” on them. Per the OP, at worst you might catch a glimpse of half a buttcheek. Anyway, the bottom of a snowboard is generally, you know, on some snow, and half the top is covered by boots and straps. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/14 "2008-10-28T18:48:53Z")
> [@Gaudere](#): > > I think the resorts are being entirely reasonable in banning the boards for their employees. It’s like having a calendar of those playboy models in the customer waiting room. As a female boarder I wouldn’t much like taking snowboard lessons from a guy with a giant naked woman on his board. Except that the boards don’t feature any actual nudity, that’s an extremely good point. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/15 "2008-10-28T18:49:05Z")
> [@Gaudere](#): > > As a female boarder I wouldn’t much like taking snowboard lessons from a guy with a giant naked woman on his board. Well, to be fair, that’s because you’re uptight, not because you’re female. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/16 "2008-10-28T18:54:11Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Except that the boards don’t feature any actual nudity, that’s an extremely good point. Private company chooses not to let employees display pin ups. Can’t see the outrage here. If it were my company, I probably wouldn’t draw the line where they have chosen to draw it, though if it was costing me significant business, I might. But they have made the business decision, which is their call to make. ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/17 "2008-10-28T19:01:59Z")
Oh stuff it. Strapping a plank on your feet doesn’t mean you can toss basic courtesy out the window. Look at these pics and tell me they’d be appropriate in a customer waiting room: [http://www.zimbio.com/Burton+Snowboards/articles/2/Burton+Uses+Playboy+Models+Sell+Snowboards](http://www.zimbio.com/Burton+Snowboards/articles/2/Burton+Uses+Playboy+Models+Sell+Snowboards) There’s 5 million snowboarders out there, you’re–WE’RE–not “counter culture”. And you can ride your stupid naked women boards if you want, but if your employer can dictate that you wear a certain type of jacket they can darn well tell you not to have a naked woman on your board. Geez, what a bunch of whiners that some EMPLOYEES can’t ride a certain limited-edition board that anyone with sense would know isn’t appropriate at work. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/18 "2008-10-28T19:06:48Z")
I’m seeing a lot more than “part of an ass” in the picture on the far right. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/19 "2008-10-28T19:08:11Z")
> [@Gaudere](#): > > [Zimbio - Entertainment News, Celebrity News, Celebrity Photos & Videos](http://www.zimbio.com/Burton+Snowboards/articles/2/Burton+Uses+Playboy+Models+Sell+Snowboards) Wait… '80s playmates are now “vintage”? Man, I’m old. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968/20 "2008-10-28T19:09:19Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > I’m seeing a lot more than “part of an ass” in the picture on the far right. You are? Where? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-just-snowboards-chill-the-fuck-out-already/469968.md?page=2)