# "They're...mating..." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 20, 2009, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299 "2009-11-20T16:45:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/21 "2009-11-21T01:42:57Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > One day they were at a farm when she saw a horse with an erection and asked her mommy what it was. Mommy said, “It’s the horse’s penis, honey”. The daughter ran to her daddy and said, “DADDY DADDY That horse has a penis JUST LIKE YOURS!!!” > > 😃 Impressive. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/22 "2009-11-21T02:01:17Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > I don’t need nightmares about being gang raped by ducks!! Truer words were never written. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/23 "2009-11-21T02:10:24Z")
Obligatory photos of pigeon sex on our balcony [here](http://pidgees.multiply.com/photos/album/1#photo=29) and [here](http://pidgees.multiply.com/photos/album/1#photo=30). ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/24 "2009-11-21T02:13:42Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Impressive. 😉 Like the Arabian horse? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/25 "2009-11-21T02:17:42Z")
I’ve seen all manner of animals, including aardvarks, mating in zoos, but best of all I like going to the nature center because I learn all kinds of nature stuff that those TV nature specials don’t show. I’ll never forget the time I saw a male mallard rape another male mallard. There were a lot of old ladies at the nature center that day and they turned to stare at a cute little ground squirrel while the mallard rape was taking place. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/26 "2009-11-21T08:04:21Z")
Chicken sex is pretty awful to watch. The rooster does a little dance, brushing his wing on the ground to woo the hen. When she doesn’t run away he BITES the back of her neck and rapes away like crazy. The poor hen squawks and flails about flapping her wings like crazy. Sometimes they don’t even bother with the dance and go straight to bite/rape. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/27 "2009-11-21T08:30:26Z")
> [@Mindfield](#): > > They … _[moan](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eMevDIpZrA)_. > > [sub]I feel dirty now.[/sub] I…think I hate you. I’m going to hear that noise in my sleep tonight. But I couldn’t look away! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/28 "2009-11-21T10:32:46Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > We saw two turtles goin’ at it at the National Aquarium in Baltimore. A little girl, about 3-4, pointed and said: “Massage! Massage!” The dad was like, “Heh - yeah, “massage.”” while I just about died laughing. Our hotel in Arles, France: Breakfast was served on a beautiful, tranquil patio which contained a lovely fountain . . . with turtles fucking their brains out while we ate. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/29 "2009-11-21T10:53:53Z")
The novel _A Man In Full_ by Tom Wolfe has a four-page-long, _extremely_ explicit sex scene, between two horses. The chapter is called “The Breeding Barn” and it’s basically a first-hand account, in unbelievably graphic detail, of a champion racing stallion inseminating a mare at the farm of a rich man. A brilliant piece of writing, and Wolfe treats the subject with a genuine respect and awe at the ways of nature and the powerful instincts of animals, though not without a little humor here and there. Just one of the many great parts of that novel. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/30 "2009-11-21T15:38:53Z")
> [@Mindfield](#): > > They … moan. > > [sub]I feel dirty now.[/sub] My jaw hurts from how far it fell. Towards the end I half-expected the damn thing to say “Oh, _Alvin_…” ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/31 "2009-11-21T18:15:24Z")
His _face_! Oh, god, that was not the noise I expected from that turtle. A grunting, maybe. But not that. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/32 "2009-11-21T18:24:54Z")
> [@KarlGrenze](#): > > > [@ivylass](#): > > > > Impressive. 😉 > > Like the Arabian horse? 🙂 No, Impressive was a Quarter Horse. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/33 "2009-11-21T19:06:13Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > His _face_! Oh, god, that was not the noise I expected from that turtle. A grunting, maybe. But not that. It was actually kind of interesting, seeing his vocal cords at work back there. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/34 "2009-11-21T20:22:17Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > Worse- now it’s offering to find “PEOPLE MATING WITH ANIMALS”. :eek: Rule 34, kid. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vifslan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f4b2a3/32.png) [@vifslan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vifslan)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/35 "2009-11-21T21:48:19Z")
I came across a couple of courting hedgehogs one late spring evening, does that count? ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/36 "2009-11-21T23:02:27Z")
I watched a LOT of Discovery channel at an impressionable age, went meant that I had witnessed numerous sex acts performed by diverse species and had “the birds and the bees” figured out long before my mother tried to give me The Talk. Perhaps this explains my adult preference for doggy style; it just seems more natural. If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a [Leopard slug.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK-NnQ0qrlw&feature=related) Acrobatic hermaphroditic sex! ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/37 "2009-11-22T00:14:35Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > Chicken sex is pretty awful to watch. The rooster does a little dance, brushing his wing on the ground to woo the hen. When she doesn’t run away he BITES the back of her neck and rapes away like crazy. The poor hen squawks and flails about flapping her wings like crazy. Sometimes they don’t even bother with the dance and go straight to bite/rape. According to Temple Grandin in _Animals In Translation_, the rapist roosters turned up as a side effect of breeding chickens for huge breasts. Er, wait, that sounded wrong. Abundant white meat, let’s put it that way. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/38 "2009-11-22T02:24:06Z")
> [@vifslan](#): > > I came across a couple of courting hedgehogs one late spring evening, does that count? What you do in the privacy of your own home is your business, but I hope you at least gave the poor little hedgehogs a bath before you released them. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/39 "2009-11-22T02:31:52Z")
I give you the mating habits of the Kakapo (the “Owl Parrot”) [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/9T1vfsHYiKY/maxresdefault.jpg "Shagged by a rare parrot | Last Chance To See - BBC") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T1vfsHYiKY) ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299/40 "2009-11-22T02:49:39Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > What you do in the privacy of your own home is your business, but I hope you at least gave the poor little hedgehogs a bath before you released them. [Nanny Ogg] …But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all! [/NO] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/theyre-mating/518299.md?page=3)