# Things about humans that would surprise aliens **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 18, 2004, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-humans-that-would-surprise-aliens/250954 "2004-06-18T00:41:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-humans-that-would-surprise-aliens/250954/21 "2004-06-19T01:16:41Z")
Our system of values. - So, let’s go over this again. You have some young people who work long hours in what you call a ‘hospital’, where they must do a lot of difficult and demanding work, and they tend to members of your species who are sick, injured or at risk of dying? - Yes - And they are given hardly any of what you call ‘money’, and have low social status? - Er, yes - And you have some other young people who can make sounds with their voices that some other people find pleasant? And that’s all they do? - Correct - But they are given lots and lots of this ‘money’, and enjoy high social status, power, prestige and privilege? - Yes - We don’t understand - Well, it’s to do with market forces and the mass market… but you’re right, it’s hard to understand - Let’s try another example from what we have gleaned of your world. You have some young people who fight for their country in what you call an ‘army’, and they may even be required to lay down their lives to protect their people and their values? - Yes, we call them soldiers. - And you have other young people whose job is to pretend to be someone they are not, and to read out lines written by someone else? - Yes, we call them actors. - And remind me which of these two groups are paid millions of units of your ‘money’ and may achieve the highest possible social status and power? - Mm, it’s the actors. The pretend-to-be-someone people. - Not the soldiers? - Never the soldiers. - We do not understand this either. - Well, it’s complicated… And so on. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-humans-that-would-surprise-aliens/250954/22 "2004-06-19T02:52:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Most of them don’t enjoy anal probes? Some of them are enjoying the anal probes? ---
**Author:** ![Roadwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@Roadwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadwalker)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-humans-that-would-surprise-aliens/250954/23 "2004-06-19T04:40:37Z")
pornography perhaps? [regarding waste ellimination](http://www.teemings.com/issue11/formal.html) ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-humans-that-would-surprise-aliens/250954/24 "2004-06-19T05:56:13Z")
## “What, you _don’t_ cannibalize the bodies of your dead family members? Then how in the _world_ are you expecting their souls to be reincarnated back into your bloodline, then?” ## “You…_secrete saline_ from your _skin_ to lower your body temperature? _Gagging in disgust_” ## “You can live up to a _hundred_ years? And _you’re_ 42 yourself? That’s…that’s incredible! You were alive when my great-great-great-grandmother was born!” ## “You _only_ live a _hundred_ years? Xeez…I have leftovers in my pantry older than that!” “You have small tentacles inside your mouths? _more gagging_” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-humans-that-would-surprise-aliens/250954.md?page=1)