# Things about Men I learned too late **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 13, 1999, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018 "1999-08-13T03:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Poto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ab992/32.png) [@Poto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poto)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 1999, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/41 "1999-08-21T11:57:00Z")
Aside from the benefits of men mentioned above, can you list the required duties assigned to men: -take out the garbage -mow -take care of car repairs -shop for new cars, then buy a compromise model neither one of you really likes -general handyman (I mean in relation to the house) Were you surprised how short the list really is in your case? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 1999, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/42 "1999-08-21T12:15:00Z")
> [@](#): > > And in the car they still listen to Jethro Tull Do NOT be dissin’ Ian. :::[grumble](http://fathom.org/opalcat/jethrotull.html)::: I am sooooo glad that my hubby is not a “regular guy”…whew!!! He hates sports (yay!!), he’s very in touch with his emotions, he loves kids and he’s a great daddy, he isn’t obsessed with cars or other dumb things… On the other hand I do have to block him from leaving the house now and then and make him change clothes (no, sweetie, you CAN’T wear the long-sleeved, shiny blue acrylic shirt with your swim trunks, high black socks, and high tops out to Nicky’s school.) He is getting better about colors, though! * * * **\>^,^\<** “Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…” OpalCat’s site: [http://fathom.org/opalcat](http://fathom.org/opalcat) The Teeming Millions Homepage: [fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions) ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 1999, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/43 "1999-08-21T13:15:00Z")
Drain Bead informed us: _And the 'Skins are a bit more on the maroon side._ And as 647 noted, according to the Redskins, their team colors are Burgandy and Gold. So it’s not maroon. It’s burgandy. Because they say it is. We don’t care what the actual _hue_ is, the team guide says it’s burgandy–that’s enough. (Maybe “Redskin Burgandy”, just happens to be the same shade as maroon.) Like any self-respecting team would intentionally choose maroon–I can see it now, the “maroon morons”. Please, these are the mighty 'Skins we’re talking about. We’re not going to let mere facts get in the way… ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 1999, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/44 "1999-08-21T14:04:00Z")
Only a man would have called that burgandy. It’s maroon. Maroon has a more brownish base, while burgandy is somewhat more purple. To be honest, I always thought that maroon was a more manly shade of red, anyway. I wouldn’t look twice at a man wearing maroon, but a man wearing burgandy just looks weird. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 1999, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/45 "1999-08-21T14:09:00Z")
By the way, you have a pretty loose definition of _mighty_, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 1999, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/46 "1999-08-21T20:20:00Z")
Old joke – ## Did you hear about the ship full of red paint that ran into the ship full of purple paint? They were marooned. “non sunt multiplicanda entia praeter necessitatem” ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 1999, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/47 "1999-08-21T21:57:00Z")
> [@](#): > > We only use 1 and 3 5% of the time the other 95% of the time we really don’t give a shit. Examples of this include, but are not limited to wallpaper type, paint colors choice, landscaping, flowers, types of foodstuffs, your blue shoes vs. your dark blue shoes, brown lipstick vs. red lipstick, the sundress vs. the blouse and the sweater, the color of the new bedspread you’re going to buy… Unless you went to art school. Mr. Rilch did, and he’s verrrrrry particular about everything we buy and display, even if it’s strictly a functional item. * * * Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together. —Red Green ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 1999, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/48 "1999-08-22T03:22:00Z")
No apology needed Dr. J – I spit water all over my screen when I read it! LOL! I didn’t even think of it that way… ---
**Author:** ![Ezekiel25\_17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@Ezekiel25\_17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ezekiel25_17)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/49 "2004-10-06T18:17:21Z")
Having been a man all my life, I find I can’t really tell you anything about us. That’s what I would consider a fundamental difference between the sexes, men aren’t as self aware, and are less likely to try to understand themselves. We (by which I suppose I really mean I) focus on understanding women. Everything else is taken on faith and instinct. If you play around with a car or a computer long enough you’ll inevitably learn how it works, why it breaks and how to fix it. The same doesn’t hold true for women. I have “Tinkered” with some women for extended periods of time without gaining any real insight into their innner workings. Maybe thats my fault (it most likely is) but I like to think that it’s by design. If we truely understood each other on a basic and fundamental level, there would be no chemistry. The exsistence of the unknown, or even the mere possiblity of unknowns is part of what makes life, and love worth going through. I could never truely love someone who couldn’t suprise me. But enough maudlin rehashing of my emotional DMZ, there are other matters at hand. I am late, pretty much as a rule of thumb, but so are most of the women I know. I occasionally enjoy re-arranging or repainting a room, and while I don’t always know the name for a color, I do have an opinion on it, which I galdly voice. I have been known to fashion a window treatment from time to time. I can count on one hand the number of sporting events I’ve watched, and generally the only reason I go or tune in is for the people I’m with. I want children, and not in the someday sense, in the right now, (if I were in a stable long term realtionship, preferably marriage) sense. I may not know what I’m feeling at any given moment, but I’ll gladly express any emotions I can explain, and listen to hers if she wants to express them. While I have no particular affection for Tull or the Stones, I do listen to them on occasion. If I know a song, I know the lyrics and I sing along (not exactly one of my more redeeming qualities). As a slight side note in that vein, I love chickflicks from Moulin Rouge to Breakfast at Tifany’s. While I love children, I’ll admit to being absolutely horrible about names, to the point where I might not even rememeber a friend’s wife’s name, let alone the new baby’s. I know realize that I have moved from traits of men to my own traits to sounding vaguely like a video dating add. That being said, I think I’ll wrap this ramble up. “Men want to be a woman’s first love, Women like to be a man’s last romance.” -Oscar Wilde ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/50 "2004-10-06T18:45:48Z")
> [@Ezekiel25:17](#): > > I am late, pretty much as a rule of thumb, but so are most of the women I know. For example, you’re five years late to this thread… 😛 (While we’re here, what’s with the invisible poster? Was it someone whose identity the mods erased in a fit of pique? A ghost? Deja vu?) ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/51 "2004-10-06T19:30:17Z")
> [@jayron 32](#): > > * * * > > Jason R Remy > > “One pill makes you taller, and one pill makes you small, but the ones that mother gives you don’t do anything at all” > – Jefferson Airplane \* White Rabbit \* (Slick, G. 1966) You might want to check the lyrics to White Rabbit.I believe it’s,“One pill makes you LARGER,and one pill makes you small…” Or you could go ask Alice,when she’s ten feet tall. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/52 "2004-10-06T19:41:04Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Brown striped underwear is a man thing. Is is one stripe, and exactly where is it? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/53 "2004-10-06T19:56:23Z")
> [@5-4-Fighting](#): > > Is is one stripe, and exactly where is it? Is _ **it** _ one stripe, and exactly where is it? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/54 "2004-10-06T20:11:56Z")
-If we don’t call, it’s probably because we don’t like you all that much. -We are more likely to list “being eaten by a bear” way before “ending up alone” as one of our greatest fears in life. -Men generally do not call other men unless they have some particular reason. For example, I do not expect my friends in other states to call me to shoot the shit. I’ll wait the six months until you are in town and then we’ll hang out. -We generally own one pair of shoes per function (unless we are Usher). IE one pair black shoes, one pair sneakers, one pair dress shoes, etc. -We do not like shopping for anything other than electronics, cars or hardware. -We realize that stuff in the movies we like doesn’t make any sense when you think about it (like why would there be no information about Sean Connery in The Rock other than next of kin or why would the LAPD in Bad Boys maintain that ridiculous chirade once Tea Leone met the real Mike Lowrey?) . You aren’t supposed to think about it. > [@Ezekiel25:17](#): > > Having been a man all my life, I find I can’t really tell you anything about us. That’s what I would consider a fundamental difference between the sexes, men aren’t as self aware, and are less likely to try to understand themselves. We (by which I suppose I really mean I) focus on understanding women. Everything else is taken on faith and instinct. If you play around with a car or a computer long enough you’ll inevitably learn how it works, why it breaks and how to fix it. The same doesn’t hold true for women. I have “Tinkered” with some women for extended periods of time without gaining any real insight into their innner workings. Maybe thats my fault (it most likely is) but I like to think that it’s by design. If we truely understood each other on a basic and fundamental level, there would be no chemistry. The exsistence of the unknown, or even the mere possiblity of unknowns is part of what makes life, and love worth going through. I could never truely love someone who couldn’t suprise me… Dude…that’s a pretty long post for a man. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/55 "2004-10-06T23:29:03Z")
Woah, this thread is gonna be so closed, it’s not even funny. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018/56 "2004-10-07T07:14:35Z")
> [@interface2x](#): > > Woah, this thread is gonna be so closed, it’s not even funny. In that case, I better get in on it… I got **Spoz** in on [the piss funny magic mushroom thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=38764) before it was closed, after all. 😃 😉 (Note to mods: I don’t make a habit of bumping old threads / rejoicing in it, as this one was bumped already, and I didn’t know **Spoz** was going to post in the other one…) > [@msmith537](#): > > -If we don’t call, it’s probably because we don’t like you all that much… Thanks, dude… you now have me wondering about a certain person who hasn’t called me when he said he would, both last night and tonight. Doesn’t help that I can’t sleep, either… 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-about-men-i-learned-too-late/7018.md?page=2)