# Things at the mall that made you laugh this holiday season **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2002, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226 "2002-12-17T02:26:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/1 "2002-12-17T02:26:50Z")
For me,I got the biggest laugh out of snickering and pointing at the half-naked guy standing in his boxers and a santa hat(that was it!)in the Abercrombie&Fitch,right in front of the holiday sign which also featured a halfnaked guy in boxers and a santa hat. I pointed. I snickered. I’m sure the guy saw me, he looked cold and embarrassed to be standing there like that. Once I started giggling, a whole crowd of little kids (8 and under)started giggling too. One of them, being pushed in a stroller by his Asshat Soccer Mom™ asked mom why he was not wearing any clothes. Mom said it was so they could sell more clothes. HA! I think they were just going for some nice holiday family-style soft-core porn.😛 IDBB ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/2 "2002-12-17T05:01:49Z")
So far I have avoided all malls. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/3 "2002-12-17T05:15:58Z")
We heard about their promotion on the radio — my mom actually drug me into the mall to go look. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Flowerchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/858c86/32.png) [@Flowerchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flowerchild)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/4 "2002-12-17T05:37:24Z")
I went into the mall, bought a pretzel, and camped myself outside Abercrombie and Fitch, that greeter was really, really, good looking. I spent like 20 minutes outside that store, supposedly finishing my pretzel…Oh, come on. We all know that I spent those 20 minutes gawking at him. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/5 "2002-12-17T17:04:40Z")
LOL I just felt sorry for the guy…and anybody who worked there because their music is turned up so loud I can hear it in MY store which is down the hall and around the freaking corner from theirs! IDBB ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/6 "2002-12-17T18:53:47Z")
Well, it wasn’t this holiday season, but it’s worth repeating. I saw this in one of the department stores in Ginza, downtown Tokyo, about 1986 or so: I was in there doing some Christmas shopping (Christmas looking, actually; I couldn’t afford anything there). The stores were huge, and packed, and wildly overdecorated, the Japanese having gone absolutely bonkers for Western holidays–I don’t know if that’s still the case, but it was then. My friend and I walked into one of the department stores, and they’d apparently gotten their mythologies a little mixed up, because right there where you first walked in, you were confronted with an enormous reproduction of… _Santa Claus, crucified on the cross!_ :eek: That image is forever burned into my brain. It was HUGE, and I think it was the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve been kicking myself ever since for not getting a picture of it somehow. ---
**Author:** ![iconoplast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3d9bf3/32.png) [@iconoplast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iconoplast)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/7 "2002-12-17T20:17:01Z")
Well, again, not this season, but an amusing anecdote from a few years back. I was in a local mall, just before Christmas, with a good sized group of friends. On the wall, over a boarded storefront, it read, “ **P** r **imp &** S **ho** p at XXXXXXXXXX Mall”. We looked at this, then each other, then realized that the letters peeled off. In no time at all, the offending letters were gone. We didn’t manage a photo though, as mall security then suggested our vacating the premises promptly. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/8 "2002-12-17T20:55:57Z")
Too bad you didn’t get the photo of Santa on the Cross Jackalope… snopes would have to change his Urban Legend classification. [http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/cross.htm](http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/cross.htm) ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/9 "2002-12-18T16:07:27Z")
LOL ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/10 "2002-12-18T18:03:40Z")
I had the intention of stopping at the mall the other day to look for some gifts. The parking lot was PACKED. So I laughed and said “Fuck this!”, and drove home. I think Santa will be bringing this person a gift certificate for a restaurant or Home Depot. ---
**Author:** ![Suspenderzzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Suspenderzzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suspenderzzz)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/11 "2002-12-18T18:16:06Z")
My contribution is entitled: “SOUNDS OF THE SEASON” It wasn’t this year, but last year. As I was walking down the street doing some holiday shopping, suddenly this guy passed me, and just as he was lined up with my ear, let out this tremendous belch. And I mean BELCH. Picture a deep roar coming out of a hollow cave. The earth trembled. You could practically see fish guts and lawn chairs flying out of his mouth. And I got such a giggle fit that I wet my pants. Really and truly. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/12 "2002-12-18T20:36:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spud \* > \*\*Too bad you didn’t get the photo of Santa on the Cross Jackalope… snopes would have to change his Urban Legend classification. > > [http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/cross.htm](http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/cross.htm) \*\* Interesting! I’d never heard mention of it anywhere else. It was definitely there and I definitely saw it, though. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/13 "2002-12-19T01:21:09Z")
It was the PO today. 1. A lady who was waiting in line to mail her package. She was asleep. She would walk a step then sleep again, then walk some more sleep again standing up. 2. A guy who works at the PO. I asked him what time they close. He said they have a sign which he pointed to me. I said, you can’t see it when the door is open, which is 8 to 4:30, because it blocks the sign completely. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/14 "2002-12-19T14:34:40Z")
LOL I do not blame you for skipping the mall. THere were a few days last year when I was up to a half hour late for my shift at my previous job because I had to look for a parking space(I worked at the mall then too).And this was with me arriving at said mall up to an HOUR AND A HALF early just so I could try and find a space. “What the…?They’re _relentless_!!!”–the Grinch IDBB ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/15 "2002-12-19T14:51:20Z")
**IDBB** , if you had parking problems and then had to work a 12-hour shift in the ER, I’d feel bad for you. If it took you an hour to park, and then you had to be on your feet for 9 hours straight waiting tables, I’d be sympathetic. Really. BUT YOU’RE SURROUNDED BY GODIVA CHOCOLATE ALL DAY!!! 😛 Perhaps after I die, I too will be surrounded by chocolate (and I don’t mean being buried like a chocolate-covered cherry). A boy can dream, can’t he? [sub]Godiva dark chocolate…I’m drooling just thinking about it…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/16 "2002-12-19T15:10:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > **1. A lady who was waiting in line to mail her package. She was asleep. She would walk a step then sleep again, then walk some more sleep again standing up.** A couple of weeks ago I saw a guy like that in the DMV. I hope he wasn’t there to renew his license! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-at-the-mall-that-made-you-laugh-this-holiday-season/143226/17 "2002-12-19T15:52:58Z")
It wasn’t this year, but many moons ago when my son was about 3. We were shopping at Woodfield Mall and he came down with an ear infection (I know, not funny). But this all happened very quickly. I was running from garbage receptacle to garbage receptacle so he could throw up while we were trying to get to the car to get him home. Just this little kid, running and puking, running and puking. He was very used to being sick, so puking didn’t wig him out like it does other kids. I guess you had to be there.