# Things Commentators Say That Make You Groan **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 4, 2011, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689 "2011-05-04T13:46:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/1 "2011-05-04T13:46:18Z")
Last week a horse called “Nobody” won at the provincials. Commentator said "I guess, today, you could say “Nobody’s perfect.” I suppose it has been used before, just to head that off. However, I wish I had thought of it. I chuckled. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/2 "2011-05-04T14:02:55Z")
John Madden. … and that’s all I’ve got to say about that. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/3 "2011-05-04T15:32:15Z")
“This rookie sensation’s future is very much ahead of him.” (As opposed to all those other players, whose futures are BEHIND them.) “If the Jets are going to beat the Tom Brady and the Patriots today, they’re going to have to OUTSCORE them.” (Ummm… yeah, the whole DEFINITION of winning is to outscore your opponents!) ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/4 "2011-05-04T17:00:01Z")
That guy there, is a FOOTBALL player! Joe ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/5 "2011-05-04T17:21:36Z")
On a local station there was coverage of local soldiers returning from the Middle East. One perky young reporter went up to a soldier and her husband, who were locked in a tight clinch. She stuck the microphone at them and chirped “So, what are your plans for this evening?” ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/6 "2011-05-04T17:24:10Z")
“Sarah Palin tweeted about…” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/7 "2011-05-04T17:54:28Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > One perky young reporter went up to a soldier and her husband, who were locked in a tight clinch. She stuck the microphone at them and chirped “So, what are your plans for this evening?” :eek: During the closing ceremonies of the Olympics, one sportscaster would just not shut up. At one point he did, then chimed in “This hardly needs any commentary at all.” But you just had to provide some anyway, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/8 "2011-05-04T19:44:00Z")
Have you ever heard the radio voice of the Yankees, John Stirling announce a homerun? I don’t want to groan - I want to hit him with something large. The worst is for Curtis Granderson: [Grandy Man- John Stirling at it again - YouTube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzdKercpO_Y) Someboy outta smack that boy; when Granderson connects with the ball I lunge for the radio on/off switch. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/9 "2011-05-04T20:44:19Z")
The main thing I hate about the Olympics is hearing commentators talk about how many years it’s been since something happened. “It’s been EIGHT YEARS since the US won gold in this event.” Soooo… they didn’t win last time? ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/10 "2011-05-04T23:30:41Z")
I realize this is slightly different, but it’s been bugging me for days. Barbara Walters. The most recent royal wedding. Kate and William exiting the church. Baba comments on how tiny and slender Kate’s waist is in the dress. Really? that’s the best you can do? That’s the whole focus of the day, how skinny Kate is? ---
**Author:** ![Skyscrapers\_Are\_Gravestones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Skyscrapers\_Are\_Gravestones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skyscrapers_Are_Gravestones)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/11 "2011-05-04T23:50:52Z")
In UFC, everything is (or was) “explosive.” Everything. The constant overuse of ‘explosive’ as a catch-all adjective actually pushed me away from MMA and was a major contributing factor in my refusal to help pay for the Pay-Per-View fee for UFC parties. Needless to say, no one invites me to their MMA viewing parties any more. ---
**Author:** ![Dano83860](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a4c791/32.png) [@Dano83860](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dano83860)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/12 "2011-05-05T02:19:23Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > John Madden. > > … and that’s all I’ve got to say about that. John Madden talking about Troy Aikmans Super Bowl touch down pass. Troy stepped and threw up. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/13 "2011-05-05T09:12:16Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > John Madden. > > … and that’s all I’ve got to say about that. 🙂 Yep. I was going to say something similar. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/14 "2011-05-05T12:37:50Z")
Children say that balls thrown over the wall were never returned. This was said more than once by the same anchor lady to emphasize how horrible Osama Bin laden was I think. It was pretty pointless and added nothing to the story. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/15 "2011-05-05T12:52:07Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Children say that balls thrown over the wall were never returned. This was said more than once by the same anchor lady to emphasize how horrible Osama Bin laden was I think. It was pretty pointless and added nothing to the story. Is this the correct thread 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/16 "2011-05-05T13:36:26Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Children say that balls thrown over the wall were never returned. This was said more than once by the same anchor lady to emphasize how horrible Osama Bin laden was I think. It was pretty pointless and added nothing to the story. The lady who was our next-door neighbor when we first moved in was the same way. Maybe she was a closet terrorist. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/17 "2011-05-05T16:42:04Z")
one reporter asked dan jansen’s coach if the ice was slippery. coach’s face was priceless. he then deadpanned “all ice is slippery”. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/18 "2011-05-05T19:25:56Z")
> [@rocking\_chair](#): > > one reporter asked dan jansen’s coach if the ice was slippery. coach’s face was priceless. he then deadpanned “all ice is slippery”. Right after Super Bowl 6, in which Duane Thomas led the Cowboys to victory, CBS broadcaster Tom Brookshier asked Duane “Are you REALLY that fast?” Thomas stared at him incredulously for a moment, then said, “Apparently.” ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/19 "2011-05-05T19:43:00Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > “This rookie sensation’s future is very much ahead of him.” (As opposed to all those other players, whose futures are BEHIND them.) > “If the Jets are going to beat the Tom Brady and the Patriots today, they’re going to have to OUTSCORE them.” (Ummm… yeah, the whole DEFINITION of winning is to outscore your opponents!) This kind of stuff seems to be the vast majority of sports commentary–it’s mostly just filler, so they end up saying stupid things all the time. From the last Superbowl: “Well, what the Steelers’ are planing right now to make two more touchdowns, one after the other.” ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689/20 "2011-05-05T19:51:02Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > This kind of stuff seems to be the vast majority of sports commentary–it’s mostly just filler, so they end up saying stupid things all the time. From the last Superbowl: > > “Well, what the Steelers’ are planing right now to make two more touchdowns, one after the other.” Agreed - it must be hard to keep things flowing and no doubt in the end you end up saying things that later make you think: _really? did I really just say that?_ I always make fun of Madden, but I am keenly aware that I could not do it for the entire length of a football game. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-commentators-say-that-make-you-groan/580689.md?page=2)