# Things I firmly believe about posters I never met **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 4, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246 "2001-07-04T20:35:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/1 "2001-07-04T20:35:31Z")
I beleive that **tomndeb** are actually two people. This is the only way he can be so versed in such a wide range of interest. It’s also the only way he can remain so level headed. When tom gets fustrated with a particularly hardheaded poster, deb takes over the computer and when deb types in the words “you putz!” tom runs over and gently pries her fingers away from the keyboard. I believe that **Fenris** and **Scylla** (or is that **Scylla** and **Fenris**?) are really the same person. They just don’t realize it. I believe that **Polycarp** wears nerhu jackets all the time. And **UncleBeer** wears overalls. I believe **Collounsbury** has a big, huge 'fro. The kind that bounces when you walk. He also does shock standup (that working overseas thing is just a cover-up). The kind of comedy that Andy Kaufman used to do. I imagine 2/3rds of the audience gets up and walks out during the middle of his routine. The rest of them stay and laugh their asses off, but feel guilty about it. In the morning he blames the bad reception on vodka. I believe that **Qadgop the Mercotan** is actually Humphrey the Good Magician from Xanth. I believe that **celestina** is really, really tiny. O.K… I’m insane. But it’s a good thing that the nice men in white let me have this padded keyboard and don’t give me _too_ many meds when my imaginary world gets too vivid. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/2 "2001-07-04T20:49:24Z")
**tomndebb** actually _is_ two people! Cool, huh? It’s just tom that posts most of the time. But I think you’re probably right about the posting style. 😃 I’m also with you on the **Fenris/Scylla** thing. I’m waiting for the day that we see a poster named \*\*Fylla[/b or **Scenris** or something like that, and my suspicions will be confirmed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/3 "2001-07-04T20:50:00Z")
I picture \*\*wishbone \*\* chugging salad dressing like it was soda. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/4 "2001-07-04T20:51:00Z")
Oops. Silly me. note to self: preview. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/5 "2001-07-04T20:51:54Z")
\>\> tomndebb actually is two people! **Is** they? Really? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/6 "2001-07-04T21:12:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biggirl \* > **I believe that Fenris and Scylla are really the same person. They just don’t realize it.** Can’t be. He has [uglier hands](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=57962)[sup]1[/sup], I’m in far worse shape and much heavier. He’s married to the (by all accounts) very cool Mrs. Scylla, I’m single. And I’m much cuter and have more posts in “Teeming Extras” 😛 Fenris (who’s flattered to be compared to Scylla. Even if he doesn’t realize the correct order that our names should go in! :D) [sup]1[/sup]Which, along with the “F_ck you, bad sh_t” post, is my favorite Scylla post. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/7 "2001-07-04T21:25:23Z")
I believe that Eve is actually Florence King. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/8 "2001-07-04T22:49:04Z")
I’m sure His High Lordship Scylla would disagree… 😉 So, Fenris, single, eh? Come here, my pigeon, and vee shall make bee-oo-tee-foo-l music too-gez-err… I’m quite convinced that Tequilla Mockingbird is an absolute _doll_… and for some reason I picture Euty as a tiny little guy with a goatee… Gah! Elly ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/9 "2001-07-04T22:51:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Elenfair \* > **I picture Euty as a tiny little guy with a goatee.** _BZZZTT!!_ Hang up … try again … ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/10 "2001-07-04T23:03:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Elenfair \* > > **I picture Euty as a tiny little guy with a goatee.** > > _BZZZTT!!_ > > Hang up … try again … \*\* Ok, are you a gorgeous, buxom-y redhead who wears a “Josie and the Pussycats” outfit and travels around the country solveing crimes with the help of a smart-“mouthed” computer which is ‘possessed’ by a bumbling angel who must do three good deeds to win his halo and wings? Fenris ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/11 "2001-07-04T23:06:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > Ok, are you a gorgeous, buxom-y redhead who wears a “Josie and the Pussycats” outfit and travels around the country solveing crimes with the help of a smart-“mouthed” computer which is ‘possessed’ by a bumbling angel who must do three good deeds to win his halo and wings? > > Fenris > > \*\* Nope, that’s me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/12 "2001-07-04T23:07:21Z")
Fenris, please. That’s just silliness. Everyone knows Euty is a blonde. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/13 "2001-07-04T23:21:36Z")
I’m convinced Scylla and Fenris are separate people. Scylla carries a shotgun and has a towel wrapped around his head at all times. I must follow his direction and preach his gospel. Fenris, wears a fedora whenever possible, and if he can get away with it, some Blues brothers type sunglasses. Be a great drinking buddy though. Hamadryad is actually my younger fraternal twin, from whom I was separated at birth,(forget that she’s a bit younger than me). Elenfair is a stunning beauty who leaves men groveling at her feet with the merest glance. (Of course, I think her personality, charm and wit do this too.) LindyHopper, I imagine him scouring the thrift stores for those 30’s handpainted neckties, especially the ones with the women in cheesecake poses adorning them. Jarbabyj, her I just imagine stuck in the middle of thousands of crazed women, hunting the racks of a clearnace sale on power tools. (Okay, so I fantasize about being there to witness her cursing the crap out of thousands of sale-hounds.) There’s more I think about posters here, but I’ll stop now before I really defile myself. [sub]Medication time, already?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/14 "2001-07-04T23:36:55Z")
Nah, **Euty** is an Oil Can Harry type. He’s always got a sweet word to whisper in any gal’s ear. The guys trust him 'cuz he seems so cool, but they don’t know he’s got their moms, sisters and daughters secretly lusting after him. **Tequila** is Ethel Merman, but much slimmer. Oh and **Batz Ma. . . Mar. . . whatever** reads dirty online anime comics about guys with dead girlfriends and other guys who masterbate obssesively. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/15 "2001-07-05T00:13:35Z")
I believe that **Cartooniverse** is really Alec Baldwin, on vacation. I believe that **iampunha** is a sixty year old man who’s just havin’ us on. I believe that **Mercutio** is really a stock-broker. I believe that **javamaven1** is making it up out of recipe books as she goes along. And that she doesn’t even drink coffee. I believe that **Coldfire** is really nine feet tall, with long green hair and one big eye right in the middle of his forehead. I believe that **matt\_mcl** _really_ prefers girls, but only ones that speak Esperanto; therefore he settles for men. I believe that **manhattan** has never even been to the city, and actually resides in Plano, Texas. I believe that **Crunchy Frog** is neither crunchy, nor a frog. I believe that **I** will have a beer. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/16 "2001-07-05T00:18:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > **I believe that Crunchy Frog is neither crunchy, nor a frog.** That, ma’am, is a damnable lie! Oh, wait… Nevermind. I believe that **Biggirl** _does_ cry. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/17 "2001-07-05T00:26:43Z")
I believe \*\* Manservant Hecubus \*\* is a wisp of a man with short inky black hair shaped in a widow’s peak. He only arises when called upon by Simon. I believe \*\* Crunchy Frog \*\* likes to run around his apartment wearing only a red rubber nose and juggling. I KNOW me,\*\* Arden Ranger, \*\* and \*\* Mauvaise \*\* are triplets separated at birth. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/18 "2001-07-05T00:42:27Z")
Every Doper is a Borg drone. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/19 "2001-07-05T01:06:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hardygrrl \* > **I believe \*\* Crunchy Frog \*\* likes to run around his apartment wearing only a red rubber nose and juggling.** That, ma’am, is a damnable lie! I never run and juggle simultaneously. I had an uncle die that way. It was very sad. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/20 "2001-07-05T01:06:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TheLoadedDog \* > \*\*Every Doper is a Borg drone. \*\* Our posts are irrelevant. All your posts are belong to me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246.md?page=2)