# Things I firmly believe about posters I never met **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 4, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246 "2001-07-04T20:35:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/61 "2001-07-05T16:35:53Z")
I firmly believe that I should not try posting with coding before I have ingested caffine in vast amounts. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/62 "2001-07-05T16:36:53Z")
What I believe (well, more accurately, **want** to believe) about **Magdalene, wring, and jarbabyj** cannot be written on a family message board. I believe **cartooniverse** is correct about both **Geobabe** and myself. šŸ˜‰ I believe that **esprix** , were he straight, would be the archetype of the guy Iā€™d warn my (hypothetical) daughters about. As he is gay, he is the archetype of the guy Iā€™d warn my (hypothetical) sons about. I believe that **dcnewsman** is a secret crime fighter, a la Clark Kent. I **know** that **Coldfire** has a multi-thousand mile long penis. Sua ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/63 "2001-07-05T16:39:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Searching For Truth \* > \*\ ***Dantheman** has a spot in his heart for younguns. (_wink_ Now what could THAT mean?) > > \*\* Jinkies! I wish people would stop saying that, even in jest. Thereā€™s a really rotten rumor going around about me that says Iā€™m a child molestor, with zero evidence. I know you must mean nothing by it, but stillā€¦ ā˜¹ ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/64 "2001-07-05T17:10:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Searching For Truth \* > \*\*I believe thatā€¦ > > **Mr.Visible** is in fact, not. At all, in the slightest, except on rainy Wednesday evenings. Am I right? > \*\* Well, I live in Tucson, Arizona for a reason. Donā€™t get much rain around these parts. Especially not on Wednesdays. MrVisible Look for him in all the best locker rooms. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/65 "2001-07-05T17:24:10Z")
I believe I owe Bad News an appology. I believe Dan needs a hug. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dan}}}}}}}}}}}} I believe Upham needs to get ahold of me soon before I send out a Canadian search party. I believe nothing will ever compare to the Guy Stuff thread. I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky I believe that will sufficiantly stick in everyones head to pay them back for that Whitney Houston and the sunscreen song that has been stuck in my head now! ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/66 "2001-07-05T17:26:51Z")
:: warbles :: I believe for every drop of rain that falls A flower grows! I believeā€¦umā€¦ :: thinks desperately for the lyrics. Rallies :: I believe for ever snotty sneeze you make You blow your nose! I believe for everyone who goes astray, someone will come to show the way. I believe, I believe. I believe above the storm the smallest prayā€™r will still be heard. :: thinks frantically :: I believe that buffalo roam where thereā€™s no discouraging word! Every time I hear a newborn baby cry, or listen to Hendrix touch the sky, Then I know why I believe! errrā€¦no. Letā€™s try another song. Well I can just sit around makinā€™ music all day long, Long as Iā€™m makinā€™ music, I canā€™t do nobody no wrong! And who knows maybe someday Iā€™ll come up with a song, That makes people want to stop their fussinā€™ anā€™ fightinā€™ Long enough to sing along! Ah believe in music, Ah believe in luuuuv . . . Ah believe in music, Ah believe in love! Music is love, love is music, if you know what I mean, People who believe in music are the happiest people Iā€™ve ever seen! So clap your hands anā€™ stomp your feet, shake your tambourine, ( Lift your voices to the sky ) God loves you when you sing! . \ Bad-song Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/67 "2001-07-05T17:47:41Z")
I now firmly believe that **Fenris** needs a spanking. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/68 "2001-07-05T18:15:35Z")
I firmly believe that Francesca sprouts lacelike wings and flits about the wolds in the merriest part of olde englande on her weekends off. I believe Diane runs a ranch of at least 10,000 head of longhorn cattle. She doesnā€™t take any crap off cowboys, smokes two packs a day, and can shoe a horse one-handed. Bachelor ranchers from miles around have wanted to woo her for her spirit and her land holdings, but sheā€™ll have none of it. Last time she got bored with the whole business, she drove a truck all over the country for 6 months, but then she came back to the land. She could have been Miss Rodeo Queen in 1974, but she thought barrel racing was for pansies and refused to wear a pink satin shirt with that much fringe. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/69 "2001-07-05T18:20:26Z")
I think \*\*Fenris \*\* and I were switched at birth I think **magdalene** and I are actually sisters, and would gladly trade her for mine. I think **UncleBeer** wears teletubby boxers ( šŸ˜ƒ ) I think **Kinsey** and I were once married to the same guy I think thereā€™s a long list of posters Iā€™d love to meet someday. and finally: I **thinksnow**. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/70 "2001-07-05T18:29:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tequila Mockingbird \* > \*\*LindyHopper, I imagine him scouring the thrift stores for those 30ā€™s handpainted neckties, especially the ones with the women in cheesecake poses adorning them. > \*\* Youā€™re right about the neckties, although Dr. LindyHopper frowns on the cheesecake motif. Letā€™s seeā€¦ I believe **Arden Ranger** swings a mean double-bladed axe. I believe **TruePisces** is secretly contemplating a move to Montana (hey, I can dream, canā€™t I? :D). I believe **Fenris** is really the love child of Dave Barry and Molly Ivins. I believe **Tequila Mockingbird** can swear fluently in sixteen languages. Iā€™m sure there are more, but my creativityā€™s in short supply right now. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/71 "2001-07-05T18:36:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LindyHopper \* > \*\* > I believe **Arden Ranger** swings a mean double-bladed axe. > \*\* Actually, itā€™s a hand and a half bastard sword, but hey, you were close. I believe **LindyHopper** has a Zoot suit and a wide brimmed hat with a leopard skin band that he wears out of Friday nights. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/72 "2001-07-05T18:38:03Z")
Iā€™m back from a trip to Vegas and I firmly believe that **LindyHopper** is actually the man of my dreams, dressed all in black with a nice square jaw, green eyes and a blood red mohawk. Am I right? :: kicking dirt :: jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/73 "2001-07-05T19:03:36Z")
I believe **jarbabyj** is a tall, red skinned alien with big floppy ears. I no longe misread her name as JarJarB, but the image stuck. I believe **hardygrrl** has dirty blonde hair streaked with motorcycle grease. I believe **Cartooniverse** has a head shaped like a globe, with latitude and longitude lines and everything. I believe **Tygr** is a forty year old guy with a bulletproof ken-doll haircut. I believe **CrunchyFrog** looks just like Rowan Atkinson. I believe **Sengkelat** is going to get his ass kicked for having such unfavorable mental images of people. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/74 "2001-07-05T19:05:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sengkelat \* > I believe **Sengkelat** is going to get his ass kicked for having such unfavorable mental images of people. not so much kickedā€¦as set on fire. And after I praised your dinosaur lunchbags and everything. gawd. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/75 "2001-07-05T19:13:37Z")
and I believe that: **CrankyAsAnOldMan** is a fine person even if she has the misfortune to be affiliated with UoM; \*\*Juniper 200 \*\* is a very uniquely funny person **Xploderā€™s** a great host/cook **BigGirl** is better to have on the same side of an arguement than on the other; **Sua** is a as talented a lawyer as he is at flirting; **Spiritus Mundi** is one of the most balanced personas around here **Persephone** knows now that toys are really meant for adults; that **Strainger** needs to come to Michigan more often; that **BunnyGirl & RalphCoder** are great meal companions; and finally **Milo** pretended to miss the Dopefest 'cause of some imagined car problem, but was really afraid to take me on in person ( :: D & R:: ) ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/76 "2001-07-05T19:13:56Z")
I believe Iā€™m not gonna get mentioned in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/77 "2001-07-05T20:09:10Z")
I believe **Magdalene** would fall madly in love with me if we were ever to meet. I believe **I** am a 79 year-old Chinese woman with a speech impediment and a deed entitling me to half the land in Canada, but thatā€™s only 'cause I havenā€™t taken my medication yet this morning. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/78 "2001-07-05T20:30:13Z")
I believe Cumber sits in his room on the comp thinking up comments to flatter me all the time. I believe I will not get mentioned either. (Unless of course Cumber comes in and he seems to turn up in all the threads I post in) ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/79 "2001-07-05T20:30:36Z")
I believe that, really, there is no human being known as ā€˜ **Upham** ā€™, and instead an experiment has been set up wherein a thousand monkeys in a cage have been given a thousand typewriters, and whenever one of them happens to come up with something halfway coherent it is posted on this message board to see what happens. I fully expect to see the entire works of Shakespeare in a few months. Furthermore, I believe I require yet more beer. And some groping. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/80 "2001-07-05T20:36:40Z")
* * * Biggirl said: ā€œI beleive that tomndeb are actually two people. This is the only way he can be so versed in such a wide range of interest. Itā€™s also the only way he can remain so level headed. When tom gets fustrated with a particularly hardheaded poster, deb takes over the computer and when deb types in the words ā€œyou putz!ā€ tom runs over and gently pries her fingers away from the keyboard.ā€ ā€œI believe Collounsbury has a big, huge 'fro. The kind that bounces when you walk. He also does shock standup (that working overseas thing is just a cover-up). The kind of comedy that Andy Kaufman used to do. I imagine 2/3rds of the audience gets up and walks out during the middle of his routine. The rest of them stay and laugh their asses off, but feel guilty about it. In the morning he blames the bad reception on vodka.ā€ ā€œI believe that celestina is really, really tiny.ā€ * * * [giggle] I believe Iā€™d like to meet Biggirl 'cause she sounds like a really cool person to hang with, because I think she has a BIG HEART, and because as amused as I am at the allusion of me being really tiny, I want to disabuse her of the notion that I bear any resemblance to Tinkerbell the fairy. I also believe that tomndebb is two people Iā€™ve been wanting to hug for quite some time now. {{{{{tomndebb}}}}} Thatā€™s for being such a patient sweetie when dealing with rather obtuse folks Iā€™d rather not name at this juncture. And [LOL!] I absolutely concur on your reading of Collā€™s character, Biggirl. I think heā€™ll get a kick out of it too if he can get away from the vodka long enough to read it. šŸ˜‰ Salut, Sugarlump! Ecrirai bientot. Oh, and I also think that UncleBeer wears teletubby undies as well as undies with BIG WINGED HEARTS on them. šŸ˜ƒ Gosh, I could go on forever listing the attributes I imagine folks have, but I need to get some work done. Au revoir. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246.md?page=5)