# Things I firmly believe about posters I never met **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 4, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246 "2001-07-04T20:35:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/161 "2001-07-09T07:53:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Cranky…I think I love you > > so what am i so afraid of?\*\* I think **jarbabyj** has never quite gotten over his David Cassidy fixation… ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/162 "2001-07-09T08:53:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > \*\*I believe that **Barbarian** has a “The Rock”-style hairdo. > \*\* Only the sideburns and the eyebrow of the people! It’s tough to have curly black hair when you’re descended from Vikings. I believe **jr8** is really a go-go dancer. I think **Coldfire** listens to lots of Rush. I believe that lots of newbies will have no idea who these people are ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/163 "2001-07-09T09:12:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* > **jr8** dances like a fiend, and looks damn good doing so! Only if by “dances like a fiend” you mean “moves like a white band on Soul Train”. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Barbarian \* > I believe **jr8** is really a go-go dancer. Alas, born too late to appear on “Laugh-In”. > [@](#): > > I believe that lots of newbies will have no idea who these people are \*\* Only because I’ve been too busy elsewhere the last few months to post much here. Damn you, PimpWars! ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/164 "2001-07-09T13:15:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tenar \* > \*\*I believe that if Spartacus was a gladiator slave from Sparta, then Eutychus is a gladiator mod from Utica, N.Y.! > > I believe Sua Sponte is a self-motivator! > > I believe Slortar watches old Barney videos when he thinks no one can see him. \*\* That is slander of the lowest, most despicable level. I must heartily protest. I would never stoop to watch Barney. I’m a big fan of the The Comfy Couch, though. Lunette is a real babe. 😃 I believe Tenar really goes to Elevenar. ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/165 "2001-07-09T13:45:21Z")
I believe **Ginger of the North** dresses in a red maple leaf super suit and leads a never ending battle against the mutant spiders of the planet Franobulax. I believe **Arden Ranger** is a fallen goddess of fertility dreaming of her former glory and living off the flirts and innuendo of this board. Come to think of it I believe the same of **True Pisces, hardygrrl, and Mauvaise.** I believe that **Chef Troy** and **Javamaven** are culinary vampires sucking new recipes from rival chefs and can be held at bay with cans of Spam. I believe with sufficient posts the Pick-Me-Up thread will actually allow Dopers to levitate but **Tubadiva** will lock it claiming “stress on the server”. I believe I need some coffee now. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/166 "2001-07-09T14:36:22Z")
I believe that **Coldfire** narrowly lost the role of Severus Snape in the new Harry Potter movie to Alan Rickman. I believe that **Mnementh** ’s first name is “Creme”. I believe that **slortar** is one of the Old Ones. [sub](H.P.Lovecraft reference)[/sub] I believe that **Qadgop the Mercotan** has a colorful assortment of pointy hats. I believe that **Ginger of the North** has invented a car that runs on maple syrup. I believe that **Verrain** owns 237 pairs of Doc Marten boots – all black. I believe that **Tequila Mockingbird** makes a mean mint julep. I believe that playing field hockey with **hardygrrl** could be hazardous to your health. I believe that with all this build-up, if I ever meet **Arden Ranger** in person I will spontaneously implode. I believe that I’m having way too much fun with this thread, and should go lie down now. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/167 "2001-07-09T15:42:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Verrain \* > **I believe that _Chef Troy_ and _Javamaven_ are culinary vampires sucking new recipes from rival chefs and can be held at bay with cans of Spam.** Hey **Verrain,** that SPAM-as-culinary-vampire-defense thing is an old wives’ tale. You should try my Spambalaya sometime. Or thin-sliced, pan-fried crunchy spam strips with scrambled eggs. Mmmmmmmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/168 "2001-07-09T15:51:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Verrain \* > I believe **Arden Ranger** is a fallen goddess of fertility dreaming of her former glory and living off the flirts and innuendo of this board. Sorry, but I gotta correct this misconception [sub](no pun intended)[/sub] : I don’t believe, I _know_ there’s nothing fallen about **Arden**. …or about any of the other ladies Verrain mentioned. -Tygr, who’s honestly not trying to suck up [sub](although, hey, y’know, if it happens, it happens 😉 )[/sub], and who, if he ever met Arden, would merely fumble and stammer (like Hugh Grant, only not at all) until she got bored and wandered off, taking her graciously bestowed title with her. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/169 "2001-07-09T17:43:58Z")
> [@](#): > > BunnyGirl is aptly named… you just know she \*\*\*\*s like a Bunny! :grabs **Astroboy** by the lapels and shakes him: Names, man! Give me the names of those spreading those, uh…rumours!!! 😉 Off the top of my head for people I haven’t met: I believe **Anthracite** is someone I’d like to sit down and have a beer with. I believe **Euty** is one of those guys that every woman wishes her husband was like: sensitive, caring and kind. I believe **Collounsbury** uses his biting sarcasm and wisdom to decimate his enemies and drinks whisky by the shot, slamming the glass to the table. I believe that a party with **jarbabyj** and **Arden Ranger** could quite possibly be one of the World’s Most Dangerous Things. Throw in **thinksnow** , **Senglekat** , and **Crunchy Frog** and you might as well call out the Guard! ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/170 "2001-07-09T18:04:05Z")
Oh, I forgot: **Zenster** knows something about everything and can explain it so it makes sense. **Ukelele Ike** knows everything about the early cultural development of American theatre, television and music. I’m intimidated. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/171 "2001-07-09T19:55:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > **I believe that Mnementh’s first name is “Creme”.** I believe I have no idea what to make of this. I believe **jr8** is a confusing, cryptic fellow. I furthermore believe that once this is explained to me, I’ll go ‘aaahhhh… I see’ and feel like a dumbass. I believe **MrCynical** is the devil. I believe **Maeglin** could run circles around me with a rapier, but couldn’t even lift one of my swords. 😃 I believe all of **hardygrrl** ’s fawning over the Hardy Boys (whichever one she likes) is all an enormous front for her eternal, powerful love for Kane. I believe **hardygrrl** will now administer to me a Swanton Bomb, followed by a Twist of Fate. And that I’ll enjoy it. _running_ ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/172 "2001-07-09T20:21:27Z")
I believe either **Fenris** or [b[Scylla\*\* is actually a well known, nationally published, author…like Steven King, and they come in here to try out new angles. Actually, I believe **Fenris** _is_ the Phantom of the Opera. I believe **struuter** has been away too long, but that she runs a small shop specializing in knish. Oddly, I picture **Lynn Bodoni** as a stereotypical tall, fair grammarian/teacher. Kindly, though. Just because I’ve gotten to thinking about Dopers, I believe **andygirl** and **quietgirldownthehall** practice magic, à la Willow and Tara. I mean this in a good way, honest. I believe **Dire Wolf** lives in a log cabin and has wolf pups or huskeys skittering around his feet while he types in front of a roaring fire. I believe that **screech-owl** is a friend to all animals and that they can sense this. When strolling through the forest or down the lane, birds perch on her arm or shoulder, chirping happy tunes and squirrels and chipmunks dance at her feet. > [@](#): > > **hardygrrl** > I believe **thinksnow** secretly rents chick flicks. No, not chick-on-chick, but stuff like Hope Floats. :eek: Note to self: hack _BlockBuster_s system and delete records! I believe **hardygrrl** could take Lita, and I believe I’d like to see the match. I believe that\*\* Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \*\*was an extra in the original _Stargate_ movie, one of the enhanced/robot/whatever guards but that he didn’t need the little gizmo, he just looked cool like that. I believe\*\* Scotticher\*\* skips, rather than walks, but I have no idea why. I believe **True Pisces** lives in a giant fish bowl. Not a tank, a huge bowl. I’m not sure whether or not it has water in it, though. I believe **jr8** is going to get his hind-quarters handed to him for this remark (underlining mine): > [@](#): > > I think **jarbabyj** has never quite gotten over his David Cassidy fixation… I believe **Zenster** is either an ex-Wolfgang Puck busboy or actually works at _Arby’s_ and the rest is all bluster, but the recipes are worth the deception. I believe **Doobious** is really a pro surfer with a wicked tan. I believe much more about many more, but that’s it for now, so if I didn’t name you, believe that I’m still thinking of you…doing funny things. ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/173 "2001-07-09T20:46:16Z")
I believe I’ll have another 151, with a dash of cinnamon, while I wait for the delectable **Arden** to saunter by… ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/174 "2001-07-09T21:27:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TVeblen \* > \*\ ***Superdude** : wry, self-parodying front for a born hellion. \*\* _Chokes on his Chips Ahoy!_ Y’know, I have mixed feelings about this. I think it’s great that someone has seen through all the bullshit to the real me (as a matter of fact, I decided to JAYWAZLK today!). On the other hand, I suppose I should be worried that a mod knows me so well, right off the top of their head. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/175 "2001-07-09T23:01:09Z")
I believe Superdude has a fixation with rope . . . [d & r] I believe that CalMeacham would be really cool to kick back with and talk about all sorts of things over a few beers. He’s got an a very down-to-earth, yet hilarious way of looking at things. I believe that Scylla isn’t a mythical sea monster, but a dog acting like a human who’s taken a monster as his handle, and this makes me scared to ever meet him. However, I would love to sit down and have a talk with his doggy, Shamus, [giggle] because I think that’s where Scylla gets a lot of his good ideas, especially the one for the “Cryptically Obtuse” thread, from. 😃 [definitely d & r] I believe I’d like to meet True Pisces, Arden Ranger, hardygrrl, & Mauvaise and see how they act IRL. Maybe they can give me a few pointers on how to flirt, but even if they don’t, I can imagine there won’t be a dull moment when these folks get together. I believe that Fenris is the type of fella to have a houseful of cats that he dotes on despite the fact that they literally walk all over him. He just sits back in his green recliner in his wood panelled library filled with books, sips a brandy, and continues to read his beloved science fiction or compose his next post amidst the meows, sneezing occasionally at the drifting cat hairs. 🙂 I believe that Daniel Sugar is sweet. I’m no fan of NASCAR, but I would like to sit down and chat with racinchikki and ask her what the allure of racing is. I believe I wouldn’t want to get in a fight with Barbarian. I believe that my Hunky second hubby Krunk-y (Hey Sweetie!)really is a big, hairy superhero out to save the world. 😃 I believe I’d like to meet moggy and her houseful of cats. She just sounds like a really cool person to hang with. I believe I really need to go do some work and quit fooling with this damn message board. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/176 "2001-07-09T23:07:29Z")
**Verrain** I may be a goddess but haven’t fallen just yet…j/k **thinksnow** Why do I know you want th match between me and Lita to be a bra and panties match? **jr8** I don’t play field hockey but rollerblade hockey. 🙂 **Mnenmenth** While Kane does have the sexy shoulders, it’s all about Jeffy. BTW…it’s Twist of Fate, then Swanton. I’ll give you a BroncoBuster if you’re good… ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/177 "2001-07-09T23:41:25Z")
Should I be glad or miffed that I haven’t been mentioned at all in this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/178 "2001-07-10T00:58:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by screech-owl \* > I screech only when I get really really **torqued** off about something. So I’m doing a search for the word ‘torque’ to see if anyone’s talking about me, and the “Things I firmly believe about posters I never met” thread shows up. “Egads, ye cats, and forsooth,” thinks I, “someone’s talking about me! Even better, someone firmly believes something about me! Someone cares!!” So, with a tear rolling down my sensitive yet handsome cheek, I open the thread. I’ll just go sit back in the corner and eat wet cigarette butts like a dog now. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/179 "2001-07-10T01:13:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Vestal Blue \* > \*\*I believe I’ll have another 151, with a dash of cinnamon, while I wait for the delectable **Arden** to saunter by… \*\* ::Sauntering by:: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246/180 "2001-07-10T04:08:12Z")
I really hope that Creme Mne Menth has figured it out by now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-firmly-believe-about-posters-i-never-met/71246.md?page=10)