# Things I Have Learnt From Cop Movies... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 28, 2007, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768 "2007-05-28T11:30:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/21 "2007-05-28T16:24:38Z")
If you cant get info out of a hostile witness or a suspect through interrogation, just beat him up some. It’s OK, our President approves. ---
**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/22 "2007-05-28T16:35:50Z")
On learning that your wife/girlfriend/daughter is in danger on the other side of the city, the correct procedure is to run to your car and speed recklessly through rush-hour traffic, to reach the destination just in the nick of time. Because calling headquarters and having them direct any of the 200-odd cops who are closer than you to the scene would obviously waste too much time. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/23 "2007-05-28T16:39:24Z")
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove] 1930’s Cop Movie: decent, but the cops are a little too “Jack Armstrong, All-American Boy.” [/quote] Also, every last friggn one of 'em is Irish Catholic. > [@](#): > > 1940’s Cop Movie: These guys are tough, smart and talk fast. Don’t fuck with them. They’re also decent, and generally dress well. They’re not all necessarily Irish Catholic anymore, either. > [@](#): > > 1950’s: still smart, tough & fast-talking, but now they have to deal with mixed-up teenagers, so they either screw it up or understand better than anyone else in the movie (like Edward Platt in “Rebel Without A Cause”) They’re also more skeptical/cynical, having been in a war. This helps to make them either reactionary Officer Krupke types, or sympathetic Dutch uncles. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/24 "2007-05-28T16:43:10Z")
After soon-to-be-retired veterans and just-out-of-the-academy rookies, the third most common murder victims are too-good-to-be-true love interests who finally draw the loner cop out of his or her isolation and teach them to feel again. Unfortunately, after a brief period of feeling love and hope for the future, the next thing they’ll feel is grief when their new lover is murdered. ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/25 "2007-05-28T16:53:07Z")
Drug kingpins in LA always live in houses built on stilts. A majority of drug deals take place in dilapidated warehouses. They may or may not be at the docks. Never stop for a hotdog - as soon as you start eating you will get an urgent call on your police radio requiring instant action. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/26 "2007-05-28T16:59:43Z")
Two new partners will be one white guy and one black guy. Throughout the course of the movie, they will overcome their racial prejudices against each other. Thie movie will end with the white guy saying something stereotypically black and everyone having a good laugh about it. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/27 "2007-05-28T17:05:23Z")
> [@](#): > > Cops never carry back up pieces (which is completely untrue based on my experience with cops). Except for bad guy cops. [c.f. Gary Sinise in **Witness** opposite Mel] ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/28 "2007-05-28T17:10:00Z")
Need evidence? Just give almost anything you find at the crime scene to the CSI folks. They’ll have the clue you need in no time. Even DNA evidence. And fingerprints always match somebody in the system. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/29 "2007-05-28T17:11:01Z")
[QUOTE=John DiFool] Except for bad guy cops. [c.f. Gary Sinise in **Witness** opposite Mel] [/QUOTE] Wasn’t that _Ransom_? _Witness_ was Harrison Ford and the Amish, right? Well, maybe Pennsylvania Dutch. Not Quakers anyway. I just saw _Ransom_ last week or so on cable. ---
**Author:** ![Mikemike2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikemike2/32/305_2.png) [@Mikemike2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikemike2)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/30 "2007-05-28T17:12:47Z")
If you are a cop, it okay if the bad guys shoot at you with machine guns. Just run, and they will miss. ---
**Author:** ![Labtrash](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/labtrash/32/528_2.png) [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/31 "2007-05-28T17:13:09Z")
Expanding on **e-logic’s** warehouse item: _ALL_ warehouses, no matter where they are located, have something illegal going on inside of them. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/32 "2007-05-28T17:23:43Z")
In the criminal underworld, all handguns are single-use disposables that cannot be reloaded. You fire the gun until it clicks twice, then glance at it disgustedly and hurl it (preferably at the pursuing detective, if he’s close enough). ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/33 "2007-05-28T17:25:46Z")
The Hero Cop will get shot in the upper arm but it will not affect his ability to use that arm. Hero Cop’s love interest will be killed by Bad Guy or his henchmen if she gets pregnant, or if HC gives her an engagement ring. Most women will fall down and whimper a lot while they’re being chased by bad guy’s henchmen, but not HC’s woman. She’s smart & she fights back, but in the end they kill her. This only makes Hero Cop more determined to kill BG. Bad Guy takes Hero Cop’s child hostage. HC has to rescue his child. Having disabled the bad guy in the Abandoned Warehouse, Hero Cop will turn his back on the Bad Guy. The Bad Guy will then produce a pistol and aim at Hero Cop. HC’s child will warn him just in time for HC to turn around and shoot BG dead. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/34 "2007-05-28T17:26:54Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] In the criminal underworld, all handguns are single-use disposables that cannot be reloaded. You fire the gun until it clicks twice, then glance at it disgustedly and hurl it (preferably at the pursuing detective, if he’s close enough). [/QUOTE] The neatest twist on this that I have seen is when Bond catches it and throws it back in _Casino Royale_ – way up in the air on a girder at that. Hit the guy, too! ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/35 "2007-05-28T18:35:11Z")
This time, it’s personal. Car chases are to be routed through sleepy, ethnic neighborhoods and terminate in a spectacular, slow-motion crash into a crowded restaurant, water at the end of a dock, or best, a pushcart loaded with melons and squash and a few feather-flying, flapping chickens. Some of the best advice a cop can get is from a perp in jail, booking or back of the squadcar. Car involved in chases go through cycles of repair and disrepair. The never are disabled, even when the tires are shot out and radiator punctured. _Bridge Out!_ and _Road Closed!_ signs are for law-abiding civilians. Fleeing criminals and pursuing coppers are exempted. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/36 "2007-05-28T19:06:26Z")
Undercover cops always drive really nice cars. Sometimes they’re Ferraris, sometimes they’re classic muscle cars. Cops are always witty and always have connections that can get them to kingpins, even in brand new cases. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/37 "2007-05-28T19:08:33Z")
That guy had _rights!_ ---
**Author:** ![Miscue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@Miscue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miscue)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/38 "2007-05-28T19:41:26Z")
To conduct a successful surveillance you need only park one house down the block and slump down in the seat of your navy blue Crown Vic when your subject drives by (sorry to be picky but as an ex-PI this one kills me). Also, when your Glock runs out of rounds you can continually pull the trigger to get that dramatic clicking on an empty chamber over and over again, when in reality the slide on the pistol (on any automatic I’ve ever owned) would have already locked to the rear. To really drive home the point you’re about to execute a person, you can deliberately pull back the hammer on your Glock, a pistol which has no external hammer, before giving your partner’s killer the ol’ dirt nap. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Hildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Johnny\_Hildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Hildo)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/39 "2007-05-28T19:44:39Z")
The murderer will never bother closing the door of the victim’s residence. He will always leave it slightly ajar to alert the cop that there’s funny business going on. The murderer is usually someone impossibly high-up on the force and no one has yet discovered his lifelong corruption. Showdown at the old factory! A factory that’s only apparent product seems to be fire and steam. Watch those metal railings. Someone might fall and hurt themselves. Workmen moving a large pane of glass across the street will do so at precisely the wrong time. Poor glass movers. They didn’t want to get involved. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768/40 "2007-05-28T19:47:11Z")
Undercover cops are never charged with assault, mayhem, reckless driving, or held accountable for property damage. Level half of a major city, and you might earn a minor scolding from your captain. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-cop-movies/405768.md?page=3)