# Things I Have Learnt From Romantic Comedies... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 7, 2007, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091 "2007-04-07T10:51:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/41 "2007-04-09T03:04:36Z")
[QUOTE=jacquilynne] That last is starting to change, as well. I’ve increasingly seen shows (though not movies that I can think of) that have people buy ‘the cheapest ticket that would get me past security’ to find their one true love at the gate. [/QUOTE] Yes, but they’re never stuck in a long line at the ticket counter behind grandma, grandpa, and 18 grandkids (none of whom know what they’re doing) who spend 30 minutes trying to check in. Nor do they get stuck in a huge line at security because someone’s trying to take a stroller through the Xray, someone else forgets to remove their keys, and yet another person refuses to remove their shoes. No matter how much you lie about who you are or even why you’re seeing the person, they’ll forgive you when you say how much you love them. Every apartment complex in NYC has a doorman. He’s usually a font of wisdom who knows exactly when each tenant left and where they’re headed. Especially useful for that last minute dash to catch your true love before she flies off to the west coast. Your coworkers spend all day talking about your romantic life. The only person who actually wants to talk about work is either a slave driving asshole boss or someone who wants to get into your pants. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/42 "2007-04-09T03:46:58Z")
[QUOTE=Stranger On A Train] Well, duh! That’s Donald Trump’s life philosophy in a nutshell. Stranger [/QUOTE] Possibly that explains the lack of sequels to romantic comedies. **Pretty Woman II: Trainwreck** … “Watch the hilarity that ensues as a recently divorced Julia Roberts burns through her fat alimony settlement while battling Richard Gere for custody of their son through a downward spiral of cocaine abuse, reality television, sex tapes, knickerless partying, tabloid headlines and a bloated lonely death in a sordid motel room.” ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/43 "2007-04-09T04:55:43Z")
You know that cute gal who’s known you since childhood and who’s been helping you out while you’re chasing the hot blonde you met in an elevator and who clearly thinks you’re pond scum and has nothing in common with you and has repeatedly treated you like dirt? Well, it may surprise you to know that the cute gal is the one you really love! And she’s been helping you out because SHE loves you! No, I’m not kidding! It’s true! That’s why she spends so much time sighing hopelessly around you. ---
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/44 "2007-04-09T05:13:51Z")
[QUOTE=astorian] The stable, employed guy you’re engaged to? Dump him! You don’t want stability! You want the carefree, penniless jerk with whom you have nothing in common! [/QUOTE] Obviously. And your smart, sensible, mature girlfriend? Boring and cold, of course - you’ll be much happier with the overly emotional, quirky “free spirit” who acts like a 7 year old on acid. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/45 "2007-04-09T05:16:46Z")
All bathrooms are huge, especially in New York apartments. ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/46 "2007-04-09T05:27:41Z")
[QUOTE=Elret] Obviously. And your smart, sensible, mature girlfriend? Boring and cold, of course - you’ll be much happier with the overly emotional, quirky “free spirit” who acts like a 7 year old on acid. [/QUOTE] sadly, if this was true IRL, I would be on cloud nine by now :smack: (and a bit of ☹ ) Oh and, the amount you initially embarass/make a fool out of/be a complete assbag too/generally despise the other person is directly proportional to the amount of love you’ll have in approximately 6 months. Also, it’ll directly relate to the ridiculousness of the situation when you first have sex ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/47 "2007-04-09T07:14:00Z")
A wedding has at least a 50% chance either being derailed by a rival love interest who interrupts the ceremony, or called off because one party has decided to ditch their partner at the altar. IRL, I’ve been to nearly 800 weddings, and neither of these has ever happened (although a couple have been called off the week of the ceremony). ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/48 "2007-04-09T10:32:51Z")
If on your first meeting a woman mistakes you for a lion tamer, a thoracic surgeon, or the Crown Prince of Bulungi, on no account set her straight, share a laugh, then ask her out for a coffee. You should instead spend the next six months perpetrating an elaborate, time consuming and costly charade designed to perpetuate this misunderstanding. By the time she inevitably discovers the truth, she will have already fallen for the _real_ you so it won’t matter. Of course if you were a mature adult, she could have discovered the real you in the first thirty seconds and saved a lot of mutual aggravation, whereas making a fool out of her is over an extended period is likely to cause any real woman to take out a restraining order, but then you wouldn’t have a plot, would you? ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/49 "2007-04-09T14:48:50Z")
[QUOTE=Scissorjack] Possibly that explains the lack of sequels to romantic comedies. **Pretty Woman II: Trainwreck** … “Watch the hilarity that ensues as a recently divorced Julia Roberts burns through her fat alimony settlement while battling Richard Gere for custody of their son through a downward spiral of cocaine abuse, reality television, sex tapes, knickerless partying, tabloid headlines and a bloated lonely death in a sordid motel room.” [/QUOTE] Am I the only one who would really shell out bucks to see this? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kurilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ea5d25/32.png) [@kurilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kurilla)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/50 "2007-04-09T15:33:32Z")
[QUOTE=Sublight] IRL, I’ve been to nearly 800 weddings, and neither of these has ever happened (although a couple have been called off the week of the ceremony). [/QUOTE] That’s some extended family you’ve got there. As to the OP: If you and your best buddy are wild-n-crazy, carefree, free spirit types and one of you starts to think of the other as immature, you can bet there’s a romance involved, because only romance is capable of making people mature. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/51 "2007-04-09T15:56:44Z")
[QUOTE=kurilla] That’s some extended family you’ve got there. [/QUOTE] Nah, it’s all business. And unlike the movies, I never ask if anyone in the congregation objects to the wedding. I did include that line once, by direct request from a couple who wanted their wedding to be just like the movies. Fortunately, it wasn’t _exactly_ like the movies, since everyone had the sense to keep their yaps shut. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/52 "2007-04-09T22:22:36Z")
Drinking too much alone in your apartment and then pouring out your soul out to a girl’s answering machine at 2 am is far a more effective means of communication than actually sitting down and having an adult conversation with her. ---
**Author:** ![initech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/439d5e/32.png) [@initech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/initech)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2007, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/53 "2007-04-10T02:01:38Z")
Ice skating is pivotal to your relationship: If you’ve not yet met the girl, you’ll meet her at the Rockefeller Center ice rink. If you’ve got the girl, you’ll lose her at the Rockefeller Center ice rink. If you’ve lost the girl, you’ll get her back at the Rockefeller Center ice rink. (If you’re John Cusack, you practically _live_ at the Rockefeller Center ice rink.) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2007, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091/54 "2007-04-10T18:08:17Z")
[QUOTE=kurilla] That’s some extended family you’ve got there. [/QUOTE] Of course, there is [another possible explanation](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0396269/) . . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-romantic-comedies/399091.md?page=2)