# Things I Have Learnt From Science Fiction **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 25, 2006, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542 "2006-01-25T13:07:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/81 "2006-01-26T11:45:43Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Firefly has them (nifty fold-away ones), and Babylon 5 has them (but steer clear of the Pakmara stall!) …yes, Girabaldi and Sinclair had a good old whizz, it wasn’t until they zipped up that I realized what they were doing! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/82 "2006-01-26T12:17:38Z")
Aliens won’t ever be _particularly alien_ in the way they think or behave, in fact they’ll be just like disfunctional, monomaniac humans - with traits that are just obsessive exaggerations of something humans already have. Oh, and their culture and language will be monolithic; all the aliens from planet Snid will be just Sniddian; between them no variances in dialect, race etc greater than you might find on the Isle of Wight. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/83 "2006-01-26T12:58:47Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > My point was that when and if the human race develops FTL spaceships that are cheap and efficient enough to make interstellar colonization possible, they just MIGHT have developed a few other technologies to make life more comfortable as well. I imagine a dirt-poor colonist of the future will live a life that a current millionaire would envy, in some respects. I’m not buying this rags-and-mud-huts stuff at all. It’s all people with little or not imagination looking at the future, unable to imagine what a really wealthy interstellar society might be like, so fallilng back on primitive shit. In Star Wars, not all planets are equal. Some are rich and powerful (like Coruscant) and others are impoverished backwater shitholes (like Tatooine). It’s lot like Earth, actually. It’s harder to explain on Star Trek, however, where the Federation is supposed to be a utopia. Frankly, this is one of the things about Trek that is inadvertantly creepy. It’s like only the people who live on Earth get the utopia, while the “undesirables” got shipped off to to the mining colonies, and are out of sight and mind for the most part. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/84 "2006-01-26T13:10:30Z")
> [@Cerowyn](#): > > Watching an episode or two would actually explain this completely, particularly since it’s actually part of the story arc. > > Another common “fact” from sci-fi: alien cultures (and even many human ones) are monolithic blocks that all exhibit the same traits and motivations. I watched the first couple of eps when it was originally broadcast, but found it boring. Cowboys in space. Whoopee. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/85 "2006-01-26T13:14:13Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#): > > Specifically in defense of firefly, this wasn’t unexplained at all. They didn’t have FTL, and they didn’t have, as a whole, technology that was _hugely_ ahead of us. > > The core worlds have a strong technological base, because the bulk of the people have lived there the longest. The people who choose to colonize the outer worlds do so because they’re poor or adventurous or whatever. And if you’ve got a “blank” world, with no technological infrastructure - do you bring your hovercar that needs a complex base to fuel, repair, operate, or do you bring along some horses (or possibly horse embyros and some sort of incubator) and some hand tools? Um, I don’t think we’ll be at our present tech level when we colonize other solar systems. I mean, successfully. We could probably launch a tin can at Alpha Proxima right now. But that would be mean. Technology WILL in fact be hugely ahead of us. The only workaround for that, IMHO, is some handwaving involving discover of alien FTL tech that lets us jump forward … quite a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/86 "2006-01-26T13:17:04Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > In Star Wars, not all planets are equal. Some are rich and powerful (like Coruscant) and others are impoverished backwater shitholes (like Tatooine). It’s lot like Earth, actually. > > It’s harder to explain on Star Trek, however, where the Federation is supposed to be a utopia. Frankly, this is one of the things about Trek that is inadvertantly creepy. It’s like only the people who live on Earth get the utopia, while the “undesirables” got shipped off to to the mining colonies, and are out of sight and mind for the most part. You’re not getting it. I’m saying the “shitholes” will be great places to live, by present standards. Better medicine, better housing, better food … you name it. For just about everyone. Think about the parallels between the poor in the US and the poor in the Third World. Now imagine that gap widened by an order of magnitude. The poor of the future will not be like the poor of nowness. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/87 "2006-01-26T13:46:24Z")
Transporters are the _cause of_, and the _cure for_ 50% of all your problems. A Weenie-ish teenager that all the fans hate can fly a starship better than a highly-trained Federation Officer with years of experience. A highly-trained Federation Officer with years of experience, who happens to be _blind_ will be trained as a ship’s pilot. And the ship’s Captain _will not_ shit a brick when he realizes that the guy behind the steering wheel is trying to pilot the ship by staring at a (video) windshield. Which he can’t see in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/88 "2006-01-26T14:23:38Z")
The ship’s captain will naturally be the best at unarmed hand-to-hand combat out of the entire crew, even if security forces are onboard. No doubt that’s true in today’s navy as well. A complicated set of circumstances will ensure that the captain will have to engage in at least one swordfight every year to determine the fate of his crew, fortunately, all ship captains are master fencers, as they are in today’s navy I again, doubt not. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/89 "2006-01-26T14:32:03Z")
It will always be either night time or raining or both outside, except for short glimpses of sunlight at either sunrise or sunset. Oriental themes and languages will abound. “Tell me all the good things you remember about your mother” will be commonly interpreted as “Shoot me in the crotch.” Everything is either free, no matter how extravagant, or horrendously expensive, no matter how commonplace. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Clanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/90 "2006-01-26T15:37:43Z")
Holographic technology will be able to generate a virtual reality that is completely indistiguishable from the real thing. But people will not spend all their free time on holodecks having virtual sex. Telepathy will be widespread, and all telepathic races/species will be able to inter-communicate (I guess there’s only the one frequency and type of modulation for the telepathic field). Don’t trust plants that can walk. ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/91 "2006-01-26T16:12:30Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > Despite having developed faster than light travel and other non-firearms related technology in the future, most guns will still only be capable of firing bullets. Slight Amendment: Despite having developed affordable faster than light travel and other non-firearms related technology in the future, most economically feasible guns for the average cash-strapped individual will still only be capable of firing bullets. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/92 "2006-01-26T16:21:41Z")
Jeans don’t exist in the future. In fact, no one wears two-piece outfits. Or dresses, for that matter. Everyone wears jumpsuits. There is no need for a doctor to do any real work anymore. All they do is scan you with some hand-held gadget that not only diagnoses your condition, but cures you as well. It makes me wonder what they learn in school. There is always some type of tension that exists between Lunar folks and Earth folks. Why can’t we all just get along? Although men still run things, there are plenty of women scientists. They are usually beautiful and single. No one cooks food anymore. In the future, the most common folk will be able to talk about astrophysics as if it is as elementary as 1+1. ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/93 "2006-01-26T16:31:37Z")
A couple from that subset of Science Fiction, _anime_ science fiction: Everything explodes. Everything. Before they explode, they bulge. The most explosive substance in the universe? Tokyo. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/94 "2006-01-26T16:32:47Z")
Alien cities generally look like community college campuses. If there are neon lights running around the edges of an “open” doorway, DO NOT TRY TO WALK THROUGH IT. Earth is the most important planet in the universe. Don’t bother bringing a psychic advisor on your ship. All they can ever tell you is that the person on the viewscreen is “Not being totally honest.” ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/95 "2006-01-26T16:42:14Z")
> [@tanstaafl](#): > > I read a story somewhere which involved the scientist who had invented the matter transmitter but who had never used it themselves. In the end it is revealed that the “transmitter” was really a duplicator. A duplicate was created at the far end and the original was then killed (and their atoms used to create the next duplicate arriving there). This had all been kept secret because they felt (probably quite correctly) that no one would use the transmitter if they knew how it worked. (The duplicates of course had all of the memories of the original up to the time they stepped into the transmitter, so never knew anything had happened.) Robert Silverberg, wasn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/96 "2006-01-26T16:44:19Z")
> [@RobuSensei](#): > > A couple from that subset of Science Fiction, _anime_ science fiction: > > Everything explodes. Everything. > > Before they explode, they bulge. > > The most explosive substance in the universe? Tokyo. Also the city most prone to the hazard of gigantic Alien, radioactive or mythological creatures. Must be the Ley points or something. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/97 "2006-01-26T16:52:11Z")
Stay far, _far_ away from any planet with a Shrike on it. Humans can evolve into a zero-gravity species within only a few centuries. * * * **Things I learned from reading _Dune: Buttlerian Jihad_:** -Einstein was wrong. -Future scientists can can create wonders that today seem impossible without any sort of computer. -Using slaves for manual labor on a ridiculusly huge scale is more efficient than non-computerized machinery. -Literary talent is not always passed from father to son. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/98 "2006-01-26T17:34:38Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > According to William Shatner, when Kirk says “I need to think.” he sits down on a toilet which pops out of the wall. This was included because they realized that they had never seen a toilet on the Enterprise. > > That said, Star Trek V didn’t really happen, so yeah, no toilets in Star Trek. 😃 The blueprints for the original Enterprise, btw, show toilets behind the screen on the bridge. In David Gerrold’s “Trouble with Tribbles”, his book about the episode, his description of Klingons says that the reason they’re so mean is that there are no toilets on Klingon ships, so they have to hold it for an entire flight. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/99 "2006-01-26T17:37:29Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > The ship’s captain will naturally be the best at unarmed hand-to-hand combat out of the entire crew, even if security forces are onboard. No doubt that’s true in today’s navy as well. All captains (and Commodores) actually. I’m thinking of the aging, paunchy William Windom beating up the much younger and beefier security guard in “Doomsday Machine.” But maybe the explanation is that he was crazy, so had the strength of 10. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/100 "2006-01-26T17:37:36Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > More than that - there are no toilets in the future. Maybe _that’s_ what the vertical shafts are for, and why they don’t have railings! :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542.md?page=6)