# Things I Have Learnt From Science Fiction **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 25, 2006, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542 "2006-01-25T13:07:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/121 "2006-01-27T03:32:52Z")
Don’t let rednecks play with anti-matter. It’s never “Okay, that’ll do 'er!” It’s always “Hey y’all! Lookit this!” ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/122 "2006-01-27T03:45:06Z")
Don’t eat people. If you do, you’ll get Creutzfeldt-Jacob and it’s a hard way to die.this actually is true If you take a marine animal, say a vampire squid, and it lives a few feet under the water surface, it’s the size of a tennis ball. But if it’s living a few thousand feet down, it can be nearly as big as a luxury cruiseship. If you take human DNA and splice it with alien DNA you get a creature 1/2 alien and 1/2 human. But if she mates with a 100% human, their offspring will be a lot _less_ human than she is, and it doesn’t have to wait until puberty to manifest its alieness. Nematodes have feet, and maybe wings, and attack people on some planets. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/123 "2006-01-27T04:17:59Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > There is no such thing as a mad scientist. It is the world that is mad: they are sane. Just like in real life. Fools! I’ll destroy them all! ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/124 "2006-01-27T04:57:17Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#): > > However, the outer worlds weren’t a primary concern - the people who went there were poor, trying to stake out a little bit of land for themselves, for the most part. They couldn’t just rent a giant interplannetary ship that could haul a huge amount of technological infrastructure with them - and the people who are most adept at operating such infrastructure would rather stay at home in comfort anyway. So they bring with them what’s entirely practical for survival - basic tools, animals, elbow grease. > > Not only is it plausible but it was actually one of the strongest points in the story, in the fiction world they created, I think. Suuuuure. As soon as you can explain why its economically smart to send poor people into outer space so they can be dirt farmers, I’ll find your idea credible.The only way it works is if interstellar travel is REALLY cheap. To my mind, this aspect is a major weak point of the backstory of Firefly, but has little to do with its dramatic qualities. ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/125 "2006-01-27T05:39:48Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > Suuuuure. As soon as you can explain why its economically smart to send poor people into outer space so they can be dirt farmers, I’ll find your idea credible.The only way it works is if interstellar travel is REALLY cheap. To my mind, this aspect is a major weak point of the backstory of Firefly, but has little to do with its dramatic qualities. Point of clarification: It’s all in one solar system. There’s no interstellar travel aside from the generation ships that got them there originally. It was made clear in an episode that it wasn’t uncommon for families to save up what they could, cram themselves into a crappy ship, and go for a one way trip out to the outer worlds. I think the third world country analogy is mostly apt. Even if we had a desire to make the inside of the amazon an urbanized, modern area, it would take a lot of time, because technological infrastructure takes time to develop. And that’s the point - it takes time to build up that infrastructure. The core planets had the best start, and everyone else has started way later, with fewer people, less expertise, and less starting infrastructure. In a hundred years, the outer worlds would have a much more developed infrastructure, but at the point that they’re in at the show, having them plant crops with horse driven plows and such is entirely plausible. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/126 "2006-01-27T05:45:44Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > Suuuuure. As soon as you can explain why its economically smart to send poor people into outer space so they can be dirt farmers, I’ll find your idea credible.The only way it works is if interstellar travel is REALLY cheap. To my mind, this aspect is a major weak point of the backstory of Firefly, but has little to do with its dramatic qualities. I don’t know about “sending” the dirt poor farmers out, but folks in the 16th, 17th, 18th, 19th, and 20th Century Europe didn’t seem to have too much trouble with the concept of dirt poor schleps hocking everything they owned for a one-way trip to the “New World” on an ocean-going deathtrap for a shot at “freedom” from established, oppressive powers in the “Old World.” ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/127 "2006-01-27T05:51:02Z")
Actually, now that I think about it, it seems to me that there are folks here in the 21st century who don’t seem to have too much of a problem with the concept of a desperate, one-way push to “a better place,” however they define “better.” In the _ **Firefly** _ 'verse, better for some seems to be “anywhere the Alliance ain’t.” ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/128 "2006-01-27T05:53:54Z")
> [@Quercus](#): > > I mean, you’re right in that in the Firefly universe, it is sort of unrealisitic to have backwater settlements of shacks built from mud and sticks, without electricity, running water, or advanced medical care. Instead, there would be backwater settlements of shacks built from scavenged nanoplastic shipping containers and plasteel garbage bags, without electricity, running water, or advanced medical care. Interestingly enough, we HAVE seen this sort of setup: Badger’s headquarters, which is apparantly made from combining a number of bulk shipping containers together. I can’t recall seeing it anywhere else, though we do have Inara doing the equivilant of living in a rented Volkswagon van (though with a garage provided to park it in). ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/129 "2006-01-27T05:55:49Z")
Forgot to credit my source: [The Laws of Anime](http://www.lawsofanime.com/). Another one from the list that applies to most sci-fi: > [@](#): > > #16 - Law of Inverse Accuracy > The accuracy of a ‘Good Guy’ when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the ‘Bad Guys’ when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Storm trooper Effect) Example: A ‘Good Guy’ in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of ‘Bad Guys’ firing on a ‘Good Guy’ standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss. > First Corollary - > > The more ‘Bad Guys’ there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage. > Second Corollary - > > Whenever a ‘Good Guy’ is faced with insurmountable odds, the ‘Bad Guys’ line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape. > Third Corollary - > > Whenever a ‘Good Guy’ is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated ‘Good Guy Area’, usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the ‘Good Guy’ from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/130 "2006-01-27T06:20:15Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > Not only that, but if you transmogrify a fly and a human, you’ll get a human with a fly head and a fly with a human head – _and both will be able to think and use language like humans._ The fly-headed human will be able to write messages and slip them under a door, and the human-headed fly will be able to gasp _heelp meee…heeelp meee_. In defense of the Vincent Price _Fly_, there’s no indication that the human-headed fly can think. After all, if it could think, and had even human sight, it should have been able to see the spiderweb. I’d always thought it simply had the same cognitive ability as, say, a parrot or dog. Otherwise it would have said, “For the love of God, Montressor!” ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/131 "2006-01-27T14:27:26Z")
At first it’s all “oohs and aahs” but eventually it’s all screams of terror. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/132 "2006-01-27T14:29:29Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > I don’t know about “sending” the dirt poor farmers out, but folks in the 16th, 17th, 18th, 19th, and 20th Century Europe didn’t seem to have too much trouble with the concept of dirt poor schleps hocking everything they owned for a one-way trip to the “New World” on an ocean-going deathtrap for a shot at “freedom” from established, oppressive powers in the “Old World.” Now now…that would only be an appropriate correlary if the Alliance in “Firefly” was an oppressive government. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/133 "2006-01-27T16:24:32Z")
> [@Linty Fresh](#): > > A super-advanced alien civilization can discover life on earth, build spaceships, travel light years through galaxies, target a vulnerable family in a remote house, and trap them in the basement, but it can’t figure out how to open a rickety wooden door. Not to mention that aliens always seem to target planets where their fatal flaw can be easily exploited. I mean, come on: (Spoiler for the movie _Signs_) [spoiler]Aliens fatally vulnerable to water attack a planet 71% covered in the substance? Where it **rains down from the sky**? Aftermath of _Signs_: Alien 1: Gee, Bob, only 84% losses among the attacking forces. In fact, the only places we didn’t lose over 50% of our men were the _fucking deserts_! Alien Bob: Just trying to outdo your little manuver there on the Sulfuric Acid Planet… [/spoiler] I’ve just got to say that I love this thread! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/134 "2006-01-27T16:31:02Z")
Despite an infinite amount of alternate universes, you’ll always end up meeting your evil counterpart, never your “so good you seem like a slimeball” counterpart. A new illness can always be cured, but only by something light-years away. Transporters are considered the most dependable form of traveling, even though they never seem to work when you most need them. Never trust anything with an exposed brain. In the future, there is no mac & cheese. Everybody eats exocic alien dishes. Thin, arched eyebrows = evil. Peace - DESK ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/135 "2006-01-27T16:37:39Z")
> [@](#): > > In the future, there is no mac & cheese. Everybody eats exocic alien dishes. One of the bits I liked in **Voyager** was the episode where Neelix prepared macaroni and cheese. I swear it’s true. Heck, to Neelix it must’ve been an “exotic alien food”. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/136 "2006-01-27T16:55:05Z")
> [@D.E.S.K.Top668](#): > > Despite an infinite amount of alternate universes, you’ll always end up meeting your evil counterpart, never your “so good you seem like a slimeball” counterpart. > A new illness can always be cured, but only by something light-years away. > Transporters are considered the most dependable form of traveling, even though they never seem to work when you most need them. > Never trust anything with an exposed brain. > In the future, there is no mac & cheese. Everybody eats exocic alien dishes. > Thin, arched eyebrows = evil. > > Peace - DESK You could make the argument that Spock’s alternate was the better of the two. He wasn’t a slimeball or evil. Under the conditioning of a lifetime he was still able to rationally understand the situation and be a force for change. He acted honorably when all others were corrupt around him. I think it showed a stronger person. Jim ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/137 "2006-01-27T16:56:00Z")
When traveling time for the future of mankind, avoid the great magnetic field. Think the 80s backlash was bad? In the 24th Century, wanting to command a starship will be evidence of mental illness in a woman. Fortunately, it will have passed by the 25th Century. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/138 "2006-01-27T17:04:25Z")
> [@D.E.S.K.Top668](#): > > Despite an infinite amount of alternate universes, you’ll always end up meeting your evil counterpart, never your “so good you seem like a slimeball” counterpart. Obviously, you’ve never met Ace Rimmer. Smoke him a kipper, he’ll be back for breakfast. -Joe, what a guy! ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/139 "2006-01-27T18:00:11Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Merijeek** :_ > At first it’s all “oohs and aahs” but eventually it’s all screams of terror. This is my favorite contribution to the thread so far! ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542/140 "2006-01-27T18:33:05Z")
According to _Babylon 5_, the most dangerous profession in the universe is undoubtedly archaeology. I don’t think there was a single archaeologist on the show who didn’t uncover some lurking alien menace that posed a lethal threat to all life in the galaxy. It must be hell on their insurance rates. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-have-learnt-from-science-fiction/341542.md?page=8)