# Things I learned from 1970s Sci-Fi movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 3, 2009, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202 "2009-03-03T22:43:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/21 "2009-03-04T17:39:41Z")
Good Guys - Blue lazers/phasors/light sabers Bad Guys - Red lazers/phasors/light sabers Bad Guys still cant manage to learn to shoot and hit thier targets. Good Guys look humanoid - Bad Guys either are clearly alien, or wearing full body suits and ugly helmets. May the schwartz be with you! ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/22 "2009-03-04T17:52:16Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#): > > [Being from the past makes you incredibly cool.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qu4hbkp4-Eo&feature=related) Didn’t work for Woody Allen! 😃 There is a bizarre species of aliens that looks just like inflatable beach balls with paper-mache claws. You would think they’d make great pets to have around your interstellar starship, but no. They’re total nuisances. Swarms of giant killer cockroaches will over-run the midwest. “Theeerrrreee isss nooo sanctuaaaaaarrryyyy, theeyyy’rrrree aaallll froooooozeeeeeen…” ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/23 "2009-03-04T18:23:15Z")
We are not alone. The Bermuda Triangle, missing aircraft and ships? Aliens. They’ll put them back and in good condition. You might think that either their aim isn’t very good or they’re practical jokers because they’ll return some ships to the desert, but that’s just their way of getting our attention. Aliens are really musically inclined and are trying to communicate with us through music. What they’re trying to communicate is the co-ordinates of Devil’s Tower, Wyoming. When they get there they will return all the airmen and sailors who were on the aircraft and ships they took. Then they’ll let the kids out to take a whiz. Bigfoot leaves a track thirty-six inches from heel to toe and makes a sound you would not want to hear twice in your life. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/24 "2009-03-04T18:25:35Z")
Cruising into a black hole can send you to heaven and hell-like worlds instead of just ripping you to shreds ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/25 "2009-03-04T18:49:09Z")
I learned that there are some who believe that life began “out there.” ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/26 "2009-03-04T19:36:24Z")
Lesson 1: If a movie involves Sean Connery in a red diaper and suspenders, **do not watch**. (_Zardoz_) Lesson 2: When your house becomes self-aware, **move the f** \* out\*\*!!! (_Demon Seed_) Lesson 3: When John Hurt says he’s feeling a bit gassy, clear the room ASAP. (_duh_) ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/27 "2009-03-04T19:43:46Z")
> [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](#): > > Lesson 1: If a movie involves Sean Connery in a red diaper and suspenders, **do not watch**. (_Zardoz_) Unless you like incomprehensible plots and **boobies** (see #18) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/28 "2009-03-04T22:19:11Z")
> [@Bearflag70](#): > > Cruising into a black hole can send you to heaven and hell-like worlds instead of just ripping you to shreds Of course getting ripped to shreds can send you to heaven or hell. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/29 "2009-03-04T23:07:11Z")
Nuclear explosions can accelerate the moon to superluminal velocities without tearing it apart. You can’t see the hot alien polymorph chick actually polymorph; you’re always staring deeply into her hot alien chick eyes right at that moment. [The planet-destroying super battle station must, for some reason, travel _around_ a planet in order to blow up the secret rebel base on one of the planet’s moons.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzoeEdW-EDQ) You can dodge the mightiest of Imperial battlecruisers (not the local bulk cruisers, mind you; I’m talking about the big Corellian ships)…by drifting slightly left. Be careful of where you launch your Voyager probes; you don’t know what (mental) condition they will return in. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/30 "2009-03-04T23:15:11Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Civilization is evolving towards the totalitopia, where you can enjoy sex and drugs all day long, provided you don’t challenge the system. I can assure you that I most certainly will not. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/31 "2009-03-05T00:13:17Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > [The planet-destroying super battle station must, for some reason, travel _around_ a planet in order to blow up the secret rebel base on one of the planet’s moons.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzoeEdW-EDQ) To be fair, that’s because the DS I superlaser is very slow firing. It would have taken longer to fire, recharge, then fire again than to just go around the planet. Great video though. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/32 "2009-03-05T01:21:34Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > To be fair, that’s because the DS I superlaser is very slow firing. It would have taken longer to fire, recharge, then fire again than to just go around the planet. > > Great video though. What, the moon (and any enemy spacecraft already off the ground) wouldn’t have gotten messed up enough by the explosion of a gas giant [within spitting distance](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/02/Yavin-4-2.jpg)? (Or the Death Star didn’t actually have the power to destroy anything larger than a terrestrial-type planet. Which would certainly be reasonable and make sense, but is depressingly uncool. ☹ ) ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/33 "2009-03-05T14:51:24Z")
Stick with the guy/girl with the afro, they’re going to do just fine. ---
**Author:** ![johnspartan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@johnspartan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnspartan)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/34 "2009-03-05T15:46:18Z")
Totalitarian governments might provide everyone with their needs, but in the process they’re secretly taking away what makes us individual. Plus in order to be a viable way of sharing resources, they’re secretly exterminating (or genetically re-engineering) people who aren’t ideal. But the whole society will unravel when someone actually questions the system and whacks the central computer / leader. Isn’t that like half of the sci-fi movies in the 70s? Seems to be anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/35 "2009-03-05T16:02:26Z")
In the future there will be no war. There will only be Rollerball. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/36 "2009-03-05T16:44:11Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > Jenny Agutter really looks great in a futuristic dress. And, as **DrFidelius** suggested, equally good looking nipping out of it for a while too 😉 The future looks intolerably tacky and unergonomic. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/37 "2009-03-05T17:42:49Z")
In the future, the planets involved in an interstellar trade republic will be ruled by feudal aristocracies. To keep order in the galaxy, they’ll depend on a small band of mystical knights. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202/38 "2009-03-05T17:47:09Z")
In space, no one can hear you scream. But they can sure listen to you bitch about your pay! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-1970s-sci-fi-movies/488202.md?page=1)