# Things I learned from teh internets **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 2, 2006, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904 "2006-11-02T23:07:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/1 "2006-11-02T23:07:43Z")
…And please post a brief desription of how someone could learn these things for him- or herself. Observe: **1) Pick anything, no matter how repulsive or degraded it may seem to you, and there’s a group of people out there who participate in it for sexual gratification.** \*Just type the keywords “scat sex eat” into your favorite search engine. \* :eek: **2) Pick anything, no matter how harmless and beneficial it may seem to you, and there’s a group of people out there ready to condemn it as immoral or harmful.** _Just type the words “Fred Phelp Mister Rogers” into your favorite search engine._ :mad: Anyone got more wisdom from the 'nets? ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/2 "2006-11-02T23:14:48Z")
‘Name it, there’s porn’ Go to any site compiling fanfic or fanart that allows adult content. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/3 "2006-11-02T23:15:07Z")
**1) No matter how bad your life is, or how strange you feel compared to others - there’s always someone on the internet who’s more broken-hedded than you.** _The Portal Of Evil is an eye opener, really._ **1a) Yes, those pictures of cute anthropomorphic animals in diapers are stroke material for someone. Really. And it’s likely that that person also wears diapers and a tail.** _Google “Baby Furs”_ **2) Nazis will always cause you to lose the argument, even if you’re not having an argument.** _We all know about Godwin’s law by now._ **3) Ninjas are Cool. Pirates are Cool. Ninja Pirates or Pirate Ninjas are the epitome of cools, but the ancient emnity between the two means we are safe from the Coolness Event Horizon that would ensue should one ever come into being.** **4) If you talk about a kitty, you must post a picture of the kitty. If you have no kitty pictures of your own, you must google kitties and post pictures of other people’s kitties until the slavering masses are satisfied.** ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/4 "2006-11-02T23:32:00Z")
[QUOTE=Sierra Indigo] **3) Ninjas are Cool. Pirates are Cool. Ninja Pirates or Pirate Ninjas are the epitome of cools, but the ancient emnity between the two means we are safe from the Coolness Event Horizon that would ensue should one ever come into being.** [/QUOTE] Cite? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/5 "2006-11-02T23:39:48Z")
Teenage girls’ tYpInG iS eVeN wOrSe tHaN tHeIr sPeEch? ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/6 "2006-11-02T23:42:45Z")
Apparently, all my base are belong to them. ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/7 "2006-11-02T23:49:53Z")
If you look around long enough you will discover someone that thinks that _the internet_ is really **teh internets** ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/8 "2006-11-02T23:57:05Z")
1. No matter what your problem is, you are not the only one who has suffered for it. There is most likely a message board for you, as a matter of fact. 2. You know how you previously thought 95% of people were dicks? Actually, it’s more like 97%. But the other thing is, 1% of people are way, way nicer than you could have ever dreamed possible. 3. You know that person, the one who \_\_\_\_ or the one who engages in \_\_\_\_\_ or dresses up like \_\_\_\_\_? They’re not really so different than you after all. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/9 "2006-11-03T00:09:26Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Cite? 😃 [/QUOTE] 😃 [Fact: Ninjas Hate Pirates](http://www.randomshirts.com/products/tees/antipirate.htm). [Fact: The only reason Ninjas Exist is because Pirates let them](http://www.randomshirts.com/products/tees/antipirate.htm). [2 Ninjas kill an entire squadron of pirates and don’t even think twice about it](http://www.realultimatepower.net/ninja/ninjahistory.htm). [“Ninjas of the Carribean would be a great film”](http://www.askaninja.com/node/1175?page=1) [However one ninja would decimate one pirate, because ninjas hate pirates](http://www.thebrewerpatriot.com/2005/11/29/ninjas-v-pirates/). ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/10 "2006-11-03T01:43:39Z")
[QUOTE=Sierra Indigo] 😃 [Fact: Ninjas Hate Pirates](http://www.randomshirts.com/products/tees/antipirate.htm). [Fact: The only reason Ninjas Exist is because Pirates let them](http://www.randomshirts.com/products/tees/antipirate.htm). [2 Ninjas kill an entire squadron of pirates and don’t even think twice about it](http://www.realultimatepower.net/ninja/ninjahistory.htm). [“Ninjas of the Carribean would be a great film”](http://www.askaninja.com/node/1175?page=1) [However one ninja would decimate one pirate, because ninjas hate pirates](http://www.thebrewerpatriot.com/2005/11/29/ninjas-v-pirates/). [/QUOTE] Pwnd! \<—learned that from teh interwebs! ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/11 "2006-11-03T02:33:36Z")
1. The Internet is a Zen Universe. Example: You cannot start a meme. The meme will start itself. 2. Most people are clueless. Example: that all responses are supposed to be in bold. ---
**Author:** ![silk1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@silk1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silk1976)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/12 "2006-11-03T02:57:05Z")
That it really _is_ a dumptruck with a lot of trash on it! ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/13 "2006-11-03T03:04:34Z")
[QUOTE=ASAKMOTSD] If you look around long enough you will discover someone that thinks that _the internet_ is really **teh internets** [/QUOTE] Am I hearing [teh](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=teh) sound of “whoosh” here? ---
**Author:** ![St\_Ides](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@St\_Ides](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St_Ides)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/14 "2006-11-03T03:04:53Z")
Every year, more than 100,000 internet users are infected with deadly catchphrases. To minimize your exposure to th- OH GOD HERE COMES A ZOMBIE PRIATE NINJA! ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/15 "2006-11-03T03:12:25Z")
1. Don’t feed the trolls. 2. Someone out there shares your interests. 3. Snopes is your friend. 4. Sometimes, it’s best not to try to get the last word. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/16 "2006-11-03T04:04:14Z")
Someone, somewhere, is masturbating to your most fearsome, hideous nightmare, and your most precious, innocent childhood memory. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/17 "2006-11-03T04:06:41Z")
[QUOTE=fluiddruid] Someone, somewhere, is masturbating to your most fearsome, hideous nightmare, and your most precious, innocent childhood memory. [/QUOTE] At the same time. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/18 "2006-11-03T04:20:20Z")
1 |34r||3D |+|0// 2 r33d +h15 hax0r5 rul, l0zrz drl!1! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/19 "2006-11-03T04:22:05Z")
If you need help decoding: [spoiler]"I learned how to read this. Hackers rule, losers drool!"[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904/20 "2006-11-03T09:44:12Z")
On this thread, I discovered that the Deadmines are Blizzard’s quite-succesful attempt to have ninjas\* and pirates in the same area and not killing each other (instead they’re all doing their best to kill low-level World of Warcraft players) Now what I want for next Halloween is a ninja-gnome dress… the pirate gnome is cute but those sideburns are a bit too much facial hair for my taste 😃 - Eddie vanC’s bodyguards, in case any of you WoW players weren’t paying attention [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-teh-internets/378904.md?page=2)