# Things I learned from watching TV cop shows **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 9, 2023, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820 "2023-05-09T18:54:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2023, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/1 "2023-05-09T18:54:13Z")
If you kill someone on the streets, go ahead and steal the watch, cash, phone etc. Dump it all sure, (except maybe the cash, and maybe someone will find the wallet , use the cards, and be the suspect). That way “it is a mugging gone wrong”. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2023, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/2 "2023-05-09T20:14:08Z")
It is okay to fire at a fleeing suspect in a crowded venue. No need to worry about hitting innocent bystanders. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2023, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/3 "2023-05-09T20:20:23Z")
When someone is pointing a gun at you threatening to shoot you it’s the perfect time to point your gun at them and engage in a long conversation about their plans. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2023, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/4 "2023-05-09T20:27:20Z")
If you’re a lone cop seeing one or more bad guys entering a darkened warehouse with multiple hiding places, don’t bother to wait or even call for backup before continuing pursuit, that’s just a waste of time. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2023, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/5 "2023-05-09T20:46:52Z")
Yep. this one pisses me off. Goes against all training, which even I , a mostly desk guy, had to take. Call it in. Now, sure if there is screaming or gunshots you maybe can’t wait, but otherwise- wait. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2023, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/6 "2023-05-09T20:52:48Z")
If a bad guy is holding an innocent person at gunpoint, the best thing for you to do is drop your gun, since losing absolutely all leverage is the best way to end a hostage situation. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2023, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/7 "2023-05-09T21:08:11Z")
If you want to get away with a crime, make sure you’re the first one the cops interview. It’s never (wink, wink) the first guy. ---
**Author:** ![Borborygmi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/borborygmi/32/217_2.png) [@Borborygmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borborygmi)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2023, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/8 "2023-05-09T21:21:19Z")
Never zoom in or enhance until someone looking over your shoulder suggests it. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2023, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/9 "2023-05-09T21:33:24Z")
Always bring donuts to distract the evidence room clerk. ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2023, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/10 "2023-05-09T21:36:03Z")
On your last day before retirement, lock yourself in your house and do not, repeat do not, go to work. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2023, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/11 "2023-05-09T21:47:24Z")
It’s totally okay if you don’t have the Miranda rights memorized–_just wing it._ You don’t have to worry about finding witnesses–there’s _always_ security footage from _somewhere._ Tripler Oh, and you don’t have to reload in a sustained gunfight–just _wish_ you don’t run dry. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2023, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/12 "2023-05-09T21:52:34Z")
Evidence doesn’t matter - just say to the crim ‘You did it because you didn’t like the boss’, and he will launch into a full confession/justification rant detailing every single facet of the crime he committed. In front of the judge and jury. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/13 "2023-05-10T00:22:44Z")
If you discover that someone is about to be murdered halfway across the city under no circumstances do you radio or call to get some of the thousands of other cops on your department to go save the victim. Who knows, a couple of them might be on the same block. That’s just a waste of time. Instead head down to the street, find your car, drive all the way across town and save the victim in the nick of time. While your at it just pretend cell phones don’t exist. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/14 "2023-05-10T00:24:49Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > It’s totally okay if you don’t have the Miranda rights memorized–_just wing it._ > > You don’t have to worry about finding witnesses–there’s _always_ security footage from _somewhere._ > > Tripler > Oh, and you don’t have to reload in a sustained gunfight–just _wish_ you don’t run dry. While you’re at it just blurt out the Miranda Warnings randomly at times that are not required by law and don’t even make sense. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/15 "2023-05-10T00:34:26Z")
Don’t worry about the police detective assigned to the crime you committed. The one you have to watch out for is the civilian who hangs out with the detective while they’re working. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/16 "2023-05-10T00:37:52Z")
If you’re at work and two cops show up to discuss the fact that your friend or colleague was found horribly murdered, on no account stop what you’re doing. Just continue loading your van / stacking chairs / polishing glasses while you talk to them. ---
**Author:** ![MikeF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MikeF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeF)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/17 "2023-05-10T00:38:43Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > It’s totally okay if you don’t have the Miranda rights memorized–_just wing it._ True story. It happened to a an officer in another agency that I knew. This was at a Miranda hearing to determine if the accused statements were admissible. Defense Lawyer: Did you read my client his Miranda warnings? Cop: I advised him of his rights DL: But did you _read_ the warnings? Cop: No. I recited them. I have done so hundreds of times. I know them by heart DL: Oh really. Can you recite them now? Cop: Sure. (goes on to omit the part about having an attorney provided if he can’t afford one) DL: That’s what you recited to my client? Are you sure? Cop: Absolutely. DL: Your Honor? Judge: The statements are excluded The thing is, the cop probably got it right at the time but choked under pressure. I always read from a card or form, as trained. That way there can be no mistakes. What I learned was there is always DNA or fingerprint evidence and those results are available in minutes. I don’t know how I missed this when I was still working. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/18 "2023-05-10T00:46:28Z")
From watching TV cop shows, I know _“inadmissible”_ means _“the lawyer absolutely gets to say it, as long as he then shows both palms and says ‘withdrawn’.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/19 "2023-05-10T00:48:21Z")
Police Dept employment rules are very lax. You can tell your boss off, slam your badge down on his desk, quit and walk out, but everything will end up fine. And you can do it again next week. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/20 "2023-05-10T00:50:46Z")
If you find a bag containing an unknown white powdery substance, you should cut it open and taste it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820.md?page=2)