# Things I learned from watching TV cop shows **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 9, 2023, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820 "2023-05-09T18:54:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/201 "2023-05-17T14:02:39Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > If you find yourself in the presence of a celebrated amateur detective… Oh yeah, another thing I learned from cop shows is that detectives, amateur or pro, can have near-celebrity status in which their reputation precedes them, even among the general public. “Hey, I know you-- you’re the world’s greatest detective, right?” ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/202 "2023-05-17T14:06:58Z")
> [@solost](#): > > You’ll see a red wire and a blue wire. ALWAYS cut the blue wire. > > …or, is it the red wire?? Wait?! The blue wire with the red stripe or the red wire with the blue stripe? ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/203 "2023-05-17T14:14:40Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > Wait?! The blue wire with the red stripe or the red wire with the blue stripe? Never mind the wires, what no TV cop realizes is that the big red digital readout that _ **every** _ TV bomb has, also has timer controls on it. Just change the setting from 1 minute 29 seconds and counting down, to an hour, and buy yourself a lot more time. Just be careful not to accidentally adjust the timer the wrong way… ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/204 "2023-05-17T21:00:10Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > If you find yourself in the presence of a celebrated amateur detective, get OUT. RUN! > **[Which fictional TV town has the highest murder rate? | Media Monkey](https://www.theguardian.com/media/mediamonkeyblog/2012/aug/23/fictional-tv-town-murder-rate)** > > Media Monkey: Radio 4's More or Less has totted up the figures to work out the deadliest fictional place on television _Maine, Oxford and Scandinavia might look nice on the telly but they’re sure keeping the funeral parlours busy, according to the Sun. After totting up the figures, Radio 4’s More or Less has worked out that the deadliest fictional place in the world of deadly fictional places is Cabot Cove in Maine, home town of one Jessica Fletcher (played by Angela Lansbury) in **Murder, She Wrote** , which has 149 murders for every 100,000 people. Ystad, home of Swedish detective Wallander, is nipping at its heels, with 110 murders per 100,000._ I think they have forgotten Kembleford. [https://www.reddit.com/r/fatherbrown/comments/hc388o/homicide\_rate\_kembleford/](https://www.reddit.com/r/fatherbrown/comments/hc388o/homicide_rate_kembleford/) _Dividing 20 by 0.091 we get approximately 220. So even by a very conservative estimate, Kembleford has a homicide rate that is 220 times the average rate of England at the time. It is also makes Chicago, and other places known for high crime rates, seem like havens of peace by comparison._ ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/205 "2023-05-17T21:16:04Z")
What about Midsomer County? 😱 ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/206 "2023-05-17T21:31:30Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > _Maine, Oxford and Scandinavia might look nice on the telly but they’re sure keeping the funeral parlours busy, according to the Sun. After totting up the figures, Radio 4’s More or Less has worked out that the deadliest fictional place in the world of deadly fictional places is Cabot Cove in Maine, home town of one Jessica Fletcher (played by Angela Lansbury) in **Murder, She Wrote** , which has 149 murders for every 100,000 people. Ystad, home of Swedish detective Wallander, is nipping at its heels, with 110 murders per 100,000._ > > I think they have forgotten Kembleford. I recently started my investigation into Jessica Fletcher, the early years, and so far Cabot Cove isn’t all that deadly. Only two murders so far. The bulk of those meeting their untimely demise around her have been on the road. Maybe she becomes more of a homebody as she gets older. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/207 "2023-05-17T21:35:17Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > What about Midsomer County? They go on to cover that, but at least in MM they change villages all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/208 "2023-05-17T21:40:27Z")
Crime fighting, particularly when it comes to private investigators, can be done by people with a wide variety of physical and emotional impairments. Acute OCD (Monk) Paraplegia (Ironside) Blindness (Longstreet) Old age (Barnaby Jones) Obesity (Cannon) Autism (Alphas, The Bridge) Undiagnosed autism (Bones) Deafness (Sue Thomas: F.B. Eye) ---
**Author:** ![zbuzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e19b73/32.png) [@zbuzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zbuzz)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/209 "2023-05-17T22:05:24Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > If you want to get away with a crime, make sure you’re the first one the cops interview. It’s never (wink, wink) the first guy. The Father Brown Corollary to this rule is to always be the first person arrested for the crime because they are always innocent. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/210 "2023-05-17T22:49:24Z")
Although my wife and I spend our evenings sitting on the same couch, somehow one of us can sneak out of the house, commit a complicated murder, and return home without ever being noticed, giving us a perfect alibi when the cops interview us. In the first half of the show. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/211 "2023-05-17T23:58:25Z")
Rugged handsomness [(Castle)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azgS3ovFCWc) ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/212 "2023-05-18T00:07:21Z")
You left out “Sarge” (played by George Kennedy), a cop who became a priest after his wife was murdered and devoted himself to catching bad guys. _Priests have hobbies, [Miscreant]. Would you like to become mine?_ Back in the '70s, _ **MAD Magazine** _ came up with a new series titled _ **Longsarge** _, about (IIRC) a blind (or deaf) quadroplegic Buddhist monk on a motorcycle who moonlighted as a PI. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/213 "2023-05-18T00:12:44Z")
Unless it’s changed since I quit watching it, the perp on _ **NCIS** _ is _always_ one of the first suspects they questioned but discounted. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/214 "2023-05-18T00:25:50Z")
> [@zbuzz](#): > > The Father Brown Corollary to this rule is to always be the first person arrested for the crime because they are always innocent. Last epi, the first guy was guilty. But yeah, the cops always arrest the wrong guy and Father Brown proves he is innocent. > [@terentii](#): > > Unless it’s changed since I quit watching it, the perp on _ **NCIS** _ is _always_ one of the first suspects they questioned but discounted. Not so much anymore. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/215 "2023-05-18T00:45:38Z")
Vintage mob hits with lots of squibs but no blood. See how long it takes you to finger the first victim: > [https://youtu.be/YwGZvhYK5-M?t=2111](https://youtu.be/YwGZvhYK5-M?t=2111) Oddly enough, _ **The Untouchables** _ was criticized at the time for being _too_ violent. (The windshield effect was achieved using splatballs filled with petroleum jelly.) ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/216 "2023-05-18T01:44:12Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > You left out “Sarge” (played by George Kennedy), a cop who became a priest after his wife was murdered and devoted himself to catching bad guys. That opens up another category - people for whom catching bad people is a later-in-life/second profession, e.g., **Diagnosis Murder** , **Father Dowling Mysteries** I’m surprised no one has come up with a letter carrier detective. After all, they walk a regular route, they know when people move in or out, they’re aware of a sudden increase of packages arriving. Seems like a natural fit. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/217 "2023-05-18T01:57:54Z")
> [@peccavi](#): > > > [@Loach](#): > > > > > [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > > > > > And guarding a safe house is the most dangerous job in law enforcement. Also a job assigned to the dumbest officers available. > > > > The mortality rate is damn near 100%. And no one really gives them much thought after they are killed. Too bad for ol’ whats his name. > > Unless Ziva is guarding the safe house, > > [https://youtu.be/Qo\_a5E8hG70/](https://youtu.be/Qo_a5E8hG70/) Not TV but in a movie there is one scene of cops sitting on a house that bothers me. I think _Lethal Weapon_ is the best buddy cop movie ever. There is one glaring flaw. Riggs and Murtagh realize Mr Joshua is going to try and get Roger’s family. They call ahead to get protection on the house. Despite the fact that it’s a Special Ops trained killer coming the cops are just sitting in their car. They are immediately murdered. Mr Joshua enters the house looking for the family. He finds a note saying “Nobody here but the bad guys” and a car comes crashing through the house. So that means R & M got to the house first, got the family out of the house, left a snarky note on the Christmas tree then left two cops outside to die just so Joshua won’t think they were ready for him. Thats not exactly standard police practice. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/218 "2023-05-18T02:01:56Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > So that means R & M got to the house first, got the family out of the house, left a snarky note on the Christmas tree then left two cops outside to die just so Joshua won’t think they were ready for him. Thats not exactly standard police practice. well, Riggs is at best CN. ---
**Author:** ![zbuzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e19b73/32.png) [@zbuzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zbuzz)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/219 "2023-05-18T02:41:09Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Last epi, the first guy was guilty. But yeah, the cops always arrest the wrong guy and Father Brown proves he is innocent. Which episode was that? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/220 "2023-05-18T03:21:06Z")
The one before the most recent (the most recent= where Flambeau comes back). IIRC # The Beast of Wedlock [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820.md?page=12)