# Things I learned from watching TV cop shows **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 9, 2023, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820 "2023-05-09T18:54:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/221 "2023-05-18T04:59:51Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Unless it’s changed since I quit watching it, the perp on _ **NCIS** _ is _always_ one of the first suspects they questioned but discounted. What I have seen numerous times on CBS procedurals (Hawaii 5-0, NCIS Hawaii, The Equalizer) are cases where there is a celebrity or politician or other Important Person who is targeted. Most of the episode will be spent chasing down bad leads and interrogating the wrong suspects. And then in a shocking twist that surprises no one at all, the real suspect turns out to be the assistant who has been trying to “help” all along. It happens often enough that I feel like these characters should automatically be suspicious of assistants by now! The above shows also have a trope where there is a single police officer who works for another agency that can be trusted _at all times_. Other cops from outside agencies? Not so much and they are usually there to provide obstacles rather than support. So if it isn’t Duke, Whistler or Dante showing up to the crime scene but rather some blowhard from some other agency, this new cop is either in on it or might as well be because they insist on doing things Their Way (which always fails). Edit: I know I lumped The Equalizer in as a cop show which it isn’t really because McCall is a vigilante rather than a cop. But the structure of this show is completely identical to Hawaii 5-0. So McCall and her Equalizer crew are basically cops (minus the badges) and have even started identifying themselves as police-adjacent in more recent episodes. ---
**Author:** ![zbuzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e19b73/32.png) [@zbuzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zbuzz)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/222 "2023-05-18T06:00:52Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > The one before the most recent (the most recent= where Flambeau comes back). Well, after 10 years and 104 episodes, it was bound to happen. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/223 "2023-05-18T12:31:36Z")
Under “undiagnosed autism”, you left out the granddaddy of detectives with mental issues, Sherlock Holmes. Despite the fact that autism wasn’t even a recognized disorder yet, he was clearly on the spectrum. Also he was a serious cocaine addict. > [@DWMarch](#): > > So if it isn’t Duke, Whistler or Dante showing up to the crime scene but rather some blowhard from some other agency, this new cop is either in on it or might as well be because they insist on doing things Their Way (which always fails). Good one. Or, close corollary, if a cop finds that all of his moves are anticipated by the bad guys, he’ll suspect a mole in the department, but never that his trusted father-figure mentor will turn out to have been in on it the whole time, until it’s almost too late. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/224 "2023-05-18T12:38:48Z")
I’ve learned that, if you are chasing a suspect who has already shot several people and shown himself to be without doubt a ruthless killer, make sure you ask him to surrender when you catch him so that he has time to spin around and kill you instead. ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/225 "2023-05-18T13:42:29Z")
DCI: “DI Smith-Jones, you are hereby awarded the King’s Medal for Superior Police work because you have solved every single murder case assigned to you for the past 15 seasons, usually within 90 minutes. Your case clearance rate is 100%, which is unmatched in the history of the Met. You’ve never been wrong.” DI Smith-Jones: “Thank you very much, guv’nor! By the way, I think that Councilman Widget is a suspect in our most recent murder case.” DI: “Are you out of your mind? He’s a great guy! You’re suspended until further notice.” ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/226 "2023-05-18T15:07:19Z")
Every police department has something very dramatic happen at some point in the Spring, that endangers one or more of the lives of the department members. After that, it’s a very slow Summer. No crime or anything at all happens, really, until late Summer / early Fall, in which cop business picks up again, often with a slightly different personnel lineup. Coincidentally, I’ve also learned from TV medical shows that the exact same thing happens all the time in hospitals, as well. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/227 "2023-05-18T15:09:52Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > I’m surprised no one has come up with a letter carrier detective. After all, they walk a regular route, they know when people move in or out, they’re aware of a sudden increase of packages arriving. Seems like a natural fit. Door Dash Detectives. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/228 "2023-05-18T15:17:38Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > I’m surprised no one has come up with a letter carrier detective. After all, they walk a regular route, they know when people move in or out, they’re aware of a sudden increase of packages arriving. Seems like a natural fit. “The _killer?_ No, there were _three_; and I can say, with certainty, that they’ve never been in my kitchen.” ---
**Author:** ![dorvann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df705f/32.png) [@dorvann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorvann)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/229 "2023-05-18T17:51:51Z")
Either that or the killer will drop his weapon and put his hands up in the air screaming is unarmed and taunting you to shoot him ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/230 "2023-05-18T21:56:26Z")
The room service guy is never the room service guy. “Wait a minute… This motel doesn’t HAVE room service!” ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2023, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/231 "2023-05-19T01:45:13Z")
Yep. I mean, you’d think they’d figure that one out by now, ---
**Author:** ![peccavi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peccavi/32/388_2.png) [@peccavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peccavi)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2023, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/232 "2023-05-19T01:49:55Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Yep. I mean, you’d think they’d figure that one out by now The bad guys always come up with a twist. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/p_NS2H55dxI/maxresdefault.jpg "Landshark - SNL") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_NS2H55dxI) ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2023, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/233 "2023-05-19T22:26:58Z")
I’ve been watching Hawaii 50 reruns and it seem that in every episode they arrest someone and take them to that concrete room with the aluminum chair and harsh lights. Either no one in the state know they are entitled to a lawyer, or the right to that lawyer has been suspended in Hawaii. Not sure which though… ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2023, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/234 "2023-05-19T22:57:08Z")
Not only that, but you do not even have to accept their invite to come in for questioning- unless they arrest you. For which they often need a warrant. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2023, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/235 "2023-05-20T01:16:12Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I’ve learned that, if you are chasing a suspect who has already shot several people and shown himself to be without doubt a ruthless killer, make sure you ask him to surrender when you catch him so that he has time to spin around and kill you instead. Saw one just recently where the bad guy just stabbed a cop to death and is advancing on his partner as she’s yelling at him to drop the knife. He of course kills her too. As she was yelling I was wondering why the bad guy didn’t have 15 bullets in him already. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2023, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/236 "2023-05-20T01:26:42Z")
Anybody who ain’t got the balls to pull that trigger has no business being a cop. ---
**Author:** ![flurb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@flurb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flurb)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2023, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/237 "2023-05-20T03:26:01Z")
The smallest error made by officers in investigating the case will result in an obviously guilty defendant “getting off on a technicality” while the cops pull their hair in frustration and the namby-pamby ACLU lawyer smirks with self-satisfaction. If there’s a typo on a search warrant, the whole case has to be thrown out. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2023, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/238 "2023-05-20T13:16:19Z")
If you are a male law enforcement type who has been married for at least a decade, you can expect your wife to die or disappear pretty soon. If you have an only daughter, this will likely happen just after she goes to college. It might be an accident, a natural disaster, a mob hit, or a kidnapping gone wrong. Or else she will just walk out and disappear on her own, but turn up after a few years when you’re already involved with someone else. This applies to everyone from George Gently to Roy Grace to Jimmy Perez to Andy Taylor. If you’re a female law enforcement type, you’ll just have a messy divorce and be left with 2-4 elementary-age children. Your mother will take care of them while you’re out catching murderers and sleeping with someone in your office. ---
**Author:** ![Author\_Balk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Author\_Balk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Author_Balk)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2023, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/239 "2023-05-20T19:13:39Z")
In some areas the police, victims, witnesses, criminals all use clean language. In other areas they are all potty mouths. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2023, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/240 "2023-05-21T00:30:29Z")
> [@digs](#): > > “Pay attention to that out-of-place object, it’ll be a crucial clue an hour later.” … And you _know_ it’ll be a crucial clue because the camera will do a quick cutaway that focuses on it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820.md?page=13)