# Things I learned from watching TV cop shows **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 9, 2023, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820 "2023-05-09T18:54:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/341 "2023-06-07T05:26:32Z")
So long as the cop runs fast enough, not even a hail of bullets from an Uzi will be able to hit him. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/342 "2023-06-07T11:42:48Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Kenneth Branagh is the only Brit who can do an American accent _at all_. Really? It’s always seemed to me that Brit actors are much more successful at pulling off American accents than American actors are at Brit accents. I have a theory abut why that is-- since we Americans don’t actually _ **have** _ an accent, Brits just need to turn their accent off 😏 ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/343 "2023-06-07T11:48:50Z")
> [@CaptMurdock](#): > > the uncanny accuracy a cop has with a snub-nosed revolver I don’t think anyone carries those any more - I don’t think modern TV cops even carry one strapped to their ankle anymore. My favorite snub-nose shot was when Mannix in a bouncing jeep shot out the tire of the pursuing bouncing jeep at some ridiculous distance. Even pre-teen me recognized that as insane. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/344 "2023-06-07T11:50:33Z")
Really good and committed cops frequently take leaves of absence to ‘go rogue’ and investigate crimes while off-duty. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/345 "2023-06-07T12:11:22Z")
And during that (ahem) _leave of absence_ they usually have a short, poignant romance with the sister/wife/girlfriend of the head bad guy (gang leader, Mafioso, etc.). She has wanted to leave The Life and sees Our Cop as her ticket out. Sadly, she dies in a hail of bullets while saving the cop’s life. But he will never forget her. _(Roll credits)_ ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/346 "2023-06-07T12:13:50Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > My favorite snub-nose shot was when Mannix in a bouncing jeep shot out the tire of the pursuing bouncing jeep at some ridiculous distance. Even pre-teen me recognized that as insane. I guess you didn’t see the first Rockford Files, where Jim hits an airplane with his snub nose, and the thing explodes like it was hit with a cruise missile. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/347 "2023-06-07T12:32:51Z")
> [@flurb](#): > > an extremely attractive woman who will give him both an emotional catharsis and some great sex. But I repeat myself. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/348 "2023-06-07T14:11:29Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Sadly, she dies in a hail of bullets while saving the cop’s life. But he will never forget her. _(Roll credits)_ All cop romances end in tragedy. The spouse or partner of a cop has a target on their back and an hour glass gets turned over when they fall in love. When the sands run out they get killed by someone who hates the cop or for some other reason they could have saved from but the cop was stuck on the job and couldn’t get home to save them. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/349 "2023-06-07T14:30:27Z")
Often, that’s where season 1/episode 1 begins, as I alluded to above. > [@Things I learned from watching TV cop shows](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/238): > > If you are a male law enforcement type who has been married for at least a decade, you can expect your wife to die or disappear pretty soon. If you have an only daughter, this will likely happen just after she goes to college. It might be an accident, a natural disaster, a mob hit, or a kidnapping gone wrong. Or else she will just walk out and disappear on her own, but turn up after a few years when you’re already involved with someone else. This applies to everyone from George Gently to Roy Gra… ---
**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/350 "2023-06-07T15:02:32Z")
> [@solost](#): > > I have a theory abut why that is-- since we Americans don’t actually _ **have** _ an accent, Brits just need to turn their accent off 😏 You mean talk like they do at home? You know they just do that for the tourists, right? ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/351 "2023-06-07T15:50:58Z")
Chekhov’s Partner (like Chekhov’s Gun). If the grizzled veteran cop gets a new partner at the beginning of the episode, “the Kid” will end getting shot before the episode is over. Earning the respect of the veteran cop, because _now_ he is qualified and has earned his stripes. In reality many cops make it through their entire career without firing their gun on the job, except during practice. But not TV cops, they shoot a perp-a-week and have usually killed many. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Krupe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Leo\_Krupe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Krupe)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/352 "2023-06-07T16:21:57Z")
I tried to read the entire thread, so apologies if one or more are repeats: 1. The traffic in big cities like New York, L.A., or San Francisco will always be light enough to allow you to pursue the bad guy at 120 mph through downtown streets. You will never hit a pedestrian. 2. Funerals are only held in the winter, and during rainy days. It doesn’t matter when the person died—the funeral home will hold the body until the appropriate weather occurs. 2a. All funerals are Catholic, with a priest reading “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust” from a small book (probably a bible, but that’s not made clear). The priest won’t say anything else–at least nothing comprehensible. 3. You go into a bar to get information on a case and order a beer. The bartender will pour a draft and set it on the bar top. You’ll get all the info you need, then throw some random bills on the bar and walk out. You won’t drink the beer. 4. When there’s an explosion and one or more people are killed, the only human remains are blood. No bone fragments, no shredded bits of clothing, no brain material—only blood. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/353 "2023-06-07T16:47:41Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > All cop romances end in tragedy. T Not just cop. Nearly All TV romances. Major characters are generally not allowed to be in a happy married relationship. > [@abcdefghij](#): > > You know they just do that for the tourists, right? Cockney slang is often done just for the tourists. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/354 "2023-06-07T17:23:14Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Cockney slang is often done just for the tourists. Not the real stuff. Or as a real cockney would say “N’sna. D’all grunt snort a’at.” ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/355 "2023-06-07T17:30:32Z")
Cops partners are assigned purely on the basis of how much their personalities differ. Polar opposites are ideal. If you’re ‘by the book’ you MUST be assigned with a ‘loose cannon’ partner. It’s in their HR hiring handbook. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/356 "2023-06-07T17:30:45Z")
> [@Leo\_Krupe](#): > > The traffic in big cities like New York, L.A., or San Francisco will always be light enough to allow you to pursue the bad guy at 120 mph through downtown streets. You will never hit a pedestrian. And no matter the traffic situation, the cop always finds a place to park right in front of the destination. * * * * * * > [@Leo\_Krupe](#): > > All funerals are Catholic… Unless it’s a British show, then the service is Church of England, conducted from The Book of Common Prayer. Catholic services are never conducted out of a Bible. The priest will use the [Roman Missal.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_Missal) ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/357 "2023-06-07T17:33:18Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Really? It’s always seemed to me that Brit actors are much more successful at pulling off American accents than American actors are at Brit accents. I don’t think so. I almost always catch a Brit with a mistake or two. But, yeah, most Americans do the most appallingly cliched UK accents. > [@TriPolar](#): > > The spouse or partner of a cop has a target on their back and an hour glass gets turned over when they fall in love. When the sands run out they get killed by someone who hates the cop or for some other reason they could have saved from but the cop was stuck on the job and couldn’t get home to save them. This is why I could never understand why everybody didn’t realize immediately what was in the box in _Se7en_. I knew it from the first seconds when we met Gwynnie how she’d end up. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/358 "2023-06-07T17:34:50Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Catholic services are never conducted out of a Bible. The priest will use the [Roman Missal.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_Missal) Do the Anglicans have anti-Missal defenses? ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/359 "2023-06-07T17:39:08Z")
Ok, mister, drop and give me 10 Hail Marys! 🪖 ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2023, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/360 "2023-06-07T17:39:16Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Not the real stuff. Or as a real cockney would say “N’sna. D’all grunt snort a’at.” I meant the Cockney Rhyming slang. There’s even a guy who claims to be in charge of it, and is a tourist attraction of sorts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820.md?page=19)