# Things I learned from watching TV cop shows **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 9, 2023, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820 "2023-05-09T18:54:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/41 "2023-05-10T18:52:38Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > If a bad guy is holding an innocent person at gunpoint, the best thing for you to do is drop your gun, since losing absolutely all leverage is the best way to end a hostage situation. Good one. > [@iamatractorboy](#): > > On your last day before retirement, lock yourself in your house and do not, repeat do not, go to work. Lol 😀 > [@Loach](#): > > If you discover that someone is about to be murdered halfway across the city under no circumstances do you radio or call to get some of the thousands of other cops on your department to go save the victim. Who knows, a couple of them might be on the same block. That’s just a waste of time. Instead head down to the street, find your car, drive all the way across town and save the victim in the nick of time. So true. > [@terentii](#): > > In a running gunfight, cops will always hit the bad guy with a snub-nose .38 even at distances of 100 yards, while the bad guy will invariably miss with every shot. Only if the cop is one of the stars. > [@pkbites](#): > > If you are involved in a shooting just holster your weapon and write a report. Regardless if the perp lives or dies you are not going to have your pistol taken into evidence, required to take a drug/alcohol test, and be incessantly interviewed by IA and other investigators. Nor will you be required to talk to a counselor for several sessions. They covered this well in an early The Rookie episode… then skipped over it on all the others. Most cops never shoot anyone in their 20 years. > [@glee](#): > > nterfere in an investigation of a crime against your family, Yeah, the whole "This time, it’s personal " thing. Which defense attorneys would love, as they can easily get all that crap tossed out. > [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > Whenever questioned by police, never ever under any circumstances > > - Leave if free to do so > - Invoke your right to remain silent > - Ask for an attorney I am starting to see a few episode where the suspect does so. A few. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/42 "2023-05-10T18:59:11Z")
If the victim or the suspect is a close friend, ex-girlfriend, family member or someone you have known all your life don’t worry, continue to investigate. There is no way a defense attorney will ever bring up the conflict of interest. And if your boss tells you that you can’t work the case that’s more of a gentle suggestion not an order. ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/43 "2023-05-10T19:00:51Z")
Similarly, if you want to tail a suspect’s car, do not worry about doing so discreetly, as your own car will be invisible to the suspect. Pull up nearby in the middle of nowhere, they will never see you. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/44 "2023-05-10T19:18:34Z")
> [@Borborygmi](#): > > Never zoom in or enhance until someone looking over your shoulder suggests it. And you keep enhancing a cluster of 5 pixels until it reveals a room full of conspirators. Focus on one of them and you can enhance until you can see weapons in their pockets and read their underwear size. Say ‘enhance’ a few more times and you might be able read their DNA encoding. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/45 "2023-05-10T19:34:35Z")
> [@iamatractorboy](#): > > On your last day before retirement, lock yourself in your house and do not, repeat do not, go to work. Thread-winner! ---
**Author:** ![mjmartin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3d9bf3/32.png) [@mjmartin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mjmartin)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/46 "2023-05-10T19:34:52Z")
The department’s computer expert has instant access to every piece of computer data ever. Need someone’s grade school transcripts from the 1970s? No problem. Need access to a company’s payroll records, without a warrant? Barely an inconvenience. ---
**Author:** ![kitap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kitap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitap)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/47 "2023-05-10T19:42:24Z")
If you interview someone about a random night 3 weeks ago, they will always know exactly what they were doing. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/48 "2023-05-10T19:45:24Z")
When they are just looking for any evidence they can use, even if the data is well hidden random bits of C coding along with random binary and hex dumps will scroll out on the screen for a few seconds before popping up an image of the precise evidence needed, even though they didn’t know exactly what they were looking for. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/49 "2023-05-10T20:29:41Z")
Heck I probably couldn’t tell you what I was doing on any given evening any longer, I stopped paying for cable so I don’t have any shows I watch on a weekly basis [the way I used to know what day it actually was sometimes, like Wednesday I was watching Babylon 5 and sitting in an IRC chatroom with about 20 other people making comments.] Actually, I tend to fugue out if I am alone, I can remember running mrAru down to base on a Monday, his boat departed, I went home and sat down at the computer and next thing I remember it was Thursday. I know I must have eaten, slept, showered [change of clothing, smelled clean] and gone to the bathroom … but I have absolutely no memory of doing any of it. I have the times I take medications as a hard never changing set of alarms on both my phone and computer, a different alarm to remind me to eat meals [hunger reflex burnt out last round of chemo I was on. I can say I have had no hunger reflex for almost 3 years] and one to remind me to go to bed. And I have the meow mix jingle for the 0600 and 1800 alarms [feed the furball, the specific alarm is what I trained her to ask for gushifuds, otherwise she gets kibble] Sounds stupid, I should be able to remember all this? Not when I sit down at the computer and fugue out. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/50 "2023-05-10T21:14:13Z")
[Simpsons did it](https://youtu.be/MOk4hQXbGDs) ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/51 "2023-05-10T21:21:25Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Heck I probably couldn’t tell you what I was doing on any given evening any longer, Lounging around, playing on the computer, eating snacks, and watching stuff on TV. There, covers every nite but game nites. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/52 "2023-05-10T21:26:31Z")
If you’re in foot pursuit of a suspect try to get them to stop running by yelling “We just want to talk!” or “We just want to ask you a few questions!” ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2023, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/53 "2023-05-10T22:09:02Z")
My wife watches the ION channel onTV. This has shown me that the Chicago Fire Dept. is only marginally less corrupt than the Chicago Police Dept. Topped off by something called Blue Bloods where Tom Selleck plays the Godfather don, except he is a police commisioner. All of these people are fucking each other like rabbits on cocaine. ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/54 "2023-05-11T00:17:18Z")
If there’s a creepy looking grubby homeless guy, maybe even with schizophrenia, they’re always the initial suspect. They’re never actually guilty. Sometimes they even turn out to be a long lost relative of one of the detectives and they help crack the case once they’re back on their meds. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/55 "2023-05-11T00:22:41Z")
> [@FlikTheBlue](#): > > If there’s a creepy looking grubby homeless guy, maybe even with schizophrenia, they’re always the initial suspect. Wait! I thought they were the one who saw the perp leaving the victim’s apartment the night of the murder and can identify them perfectly even though it was late at night in an alley with no lights. ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/56 "2023-05-11T00:28:53Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > Wait! I thought they were the one who saw the perp leaving the victim’s apartment the night of the murder and can identify them perfectly even though it was late at night in an alley with no lights. Exactly. But at first they think it’s an alien from Mars, or a demon, or some such thing, until they’re back on their psych meds. Then their recollection improves, they remember that wasn’t a real snake, just a guy with a snake tattoo. That leads straight to the real killer. ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/57 "2023-05-11T00:32:42Z")
Speaking of insanity, the insanity defense works in proportion to the amount of evidence against you. Are there 5 eyewitness, fingerprints, DNA evidence, ballistics, and a clear video? Clearly the insanity defense is going to work. Is there only one unreliable witness and a partial smudged fingerprint? Don’t even bother with the insanity defense. ---
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/58 "2023-05-11T01:54:31Z")
It’s actually really easy and safe to jump off of a rooftop across a ten foot gap and 15 feet down to a fire escape across an alley or street. If you don’t hit the metal landing directly, you’ll definitely have the finger strength to grab the railing. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/59 "2023-05-11T02:43:58Z")
The first suspect is never the bad guy. It doesn’t matter how much it looks like it was him. Especially in the first 30 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Steven\_Maven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steven_maven/32/3272_2.png) [@Steven\_Maven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steven_Maven)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/60 "2023-05-11T03:41:05Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > while the bad guy will invariably miss with every shot. … with a fully automatic weapon [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820.md?page=4)