# Things I learned from watching TV cop shows **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 9, 2023, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820 "2023-05-09T18:54:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/81 "2023-05-11T19:00:10Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > In the US this is absolutely permissible. I don’t think the issue is whether it’s permissible if I’m a suspect, it’s how important it is in my life. I didn’t realize until watching TV shows that the brutal murder of a close acquaintance or colleague is something that I really should not be too concerned with. As a witness, why should I dedicate more than a couple of minutes to helping the police with their questions when I have to go and pick up my dry cleaning before the shop closes? ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/82 "2023-05-11T19:09:16Z")
When tracking down a suspect at his place of work don’t bother trying to do it discretely. Best way is to ask their supervisor to point them out and call their name from across the factory floor. That way they get a good head start when they start to flee and you can have fun chasing them. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/83 "2023-05-11T19:34:13Z")
The thing to notice about NCIS is that most of the crimes are attempted and successful murders of NCIS members. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/84 "2023-05-11T19:40:19Z")
A secret only experienced cops know is that houses and apartments have doors and windows that a suspect can leave through when you knock on their front door and shout “Police! Open up!”. The younger cops have to run through the place, crawl through a window, chase the suspect down the fire escape, where his older more experienced partner trips the guy when he gets off the ladder and cuffs him without a problem. Private detectives and bounty hunters all know this secret also, but for some reason it’s not covered at the academy. ---
**Author:** ![Celtic\_Kitsune](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/celtic_kitsune/32/12086_2.png) [@Celtic\_Kitsune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celtic_Kitsune)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/85 "2023-05-11T19:50:24Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Private detectives and bounty hunters all know this secret also, but for some reason it’s not covered at the academy. Now where would be the fun in that? 😉 Also regarding the academy no further training is required after having left the centre in the entirety of an officers career. Well maybe some firearms practice but that’s about it. When using a speedgun pointing it in the vague direction of a car is close enough. You don’t have to pay attention on stake-outs, in fact it’s the best time to get into a heated and distracted argument with your colleague. But most of all the thing I’ve learned from TV cop shows is that orders are optional and doing things by the book is for losers. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/86 "2023-05-11T22:08:42Z")
In New York, coffee only comes in tiny 4 oz paper cups with a Greek motif around the rim. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/87 "2023-05-11T22:15:05Z")
There seems to be some truth to that. > **[Anthora](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthora)** > > The Anthora is a design for a disposable paper cup for coffee that has become iconic of New York City daily life. > The cup was originally designed by Leslie Buck of the Sherri Cup Company in 1963, to appeal to Greek-owned coffee shops in New York City, and was later much copied by other companies. Sherri was later acquired by the Solo Cup Company, which in turn was acquired by Dart Container in 2012. The name is said to come from Buck's Eastern European-accented pronunciation of the word ampho... ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/88 "2023-05-11T22:18:13Z")
But if I’m pulling an all-nighter on a stakeout, I’m gonna need more than the two gulps of coffee one of those things hold. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/89 "2023-05-11T22:21:47Z")
It comes in 8- or 10-ounce sizes, according to the product page. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/90 "2023-05-11T22:39:51Z")
That’s the one ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/91 "2023-05-11T22:44:45Z")
I learned that there’s no such things as an ambulance. When someone is hurt, you call for a “bus”. If there are a lot of people to transport, and you want an actual bus, I have no idea what to ask for. ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/92 "2023-05-11T22:55:49Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > But if I’m pulling an all-nighter on a stakeout, I’m gonna need more than the two gulps of coffee one of those things hold. In addition to more coffee, that something is going to be Chinese takeout in one of those clamshell containers. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2023, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/93 "2023-05-11T23:54:10Z")
Forensics laboratories are normally staffed by young, good looking people, that really don’t have anything to do otherwise than jump on _your priority case_ _ **right now** _! [In the Lab] Need fingerprints from a homicide weapon? I’ll get a match for you by COB. . . Need DNA sequencing from a cigarrette butt? It’ll be an overnight job, but I’ll get on it as soon as I get these prints sent to Quantico. . . Need blood typing on a swab? Oh, um sure, just uh. . . [shoves murder weapon and cigarette butt to side of desk] leave it here and I’ll get to it in the morning. Need chromatography on an ink sample to compare it to a ransom note? Um, we’re sort of swamped, but I can try to get it started tomor. . . Oh, the ransomer says they’re gonna kill the hostage in 4 hours? Leave it here and I’ll see what I can get started with. . . . Need DNA analysis on a PCB board from a disrupted IED to match genetics to that database? Yeah, um, I’ll get to it. . . Oh, there’s _multiple IEDs_ ticking down throughout Gotham City? ::sigh:: Need me to appear in court as Prosecution’s expert witness _ **tomorrow** _ on that murder weapon? But I haven’t even started developing those prints for Quantico . . . Commissioner’s calling for an update on that ransom note? Tell him to wait . . [/in the Lab] The above _never_ happens. The young twenty-somethings have it covered, and will have scientifically accurate, 250-page reports by the morrning. TrIpler Gotham is _so_ gonna burn down. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2023, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/94 "2023-05-12T00:15:07Z")
I take it you’ve either had your prostate removed or you’ve got a voluminous bladder taped to your leg. Or both. 🤭 ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2023, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/95 "2023-05-12T00:45:22Z")
If you’re running along a wall, and someone tries to shoot you with an automatic weapon, if you run fast enough they will always hit the wall right behind you. They won’t be able to swing the barrel fast enough to hit you. Likewise, if you’re clinging to the roof of a van, if you time it right when you can roll to the side, the bad guys’ll shoot up through the roof and put holes where you just were. And don’t worry about them just slamming on the brakes, like in a rational world. ---
**Author:** ![Borborygmi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/borborygmi/32/217_2.png) [@Borborygmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borborygmi)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2023, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/96 "2023-05-12T01:02:32Z")
Any criminal or victim who falls to his or her death will land squarely in the middle of the roof of a parked car and will activate its alarm. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2023, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/97 "2023-05-12T01:07:25Z")
. . . and the body will look near-pristine, and _decidedly not_ like chunky salsa. Tripler . . . and the head will always be intact. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2023, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/98 "2023-05-12T01:11:46Z")
If the guy leading the investigation has “a hunch,” it will invariably turn out to be correct. There is nothing surer than “a hunch” on TV. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2023, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/99 "2023-05-12T01:15:18Z")
[Evelyn McHale](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evelyn_McHale) AKA ‘The most beautiful suicide’. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2023, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820/100 "2023-05-12T01:33:05Z")
Huh . . . I stand corrected! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-from-watching-tv-cop-shows/983820.md?page=6)