# Things I Learned Watching a Twilight Zone Marathon

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Tags:** tv-shows-scripted
**Created:** [July 4, 2023, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519 "2023-07-04T00:40:16Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1

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### Author: ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/1 "2023-07-04T00:40:16Z")

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If we ever receive a visitor from another planet, we’re screwed.

All dolls, puppets, ventriloquist dummies, mannequins, etc. are evil.

Get one of those dorky neck chains to secure your spectacles.

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### Author: ![SwissMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@SwissMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwissMan)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/2 "2023-07-04T00:48:43Z")

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In the early 1960s, you could apparently bring a gun on an airplane and no one noticed or seemed to care.

Communities should pool their resources and build nuclear fallout shelters big enough to house all the residents (just trust me on this).

Evil people are subjected to ironic punishment in the afterlife.

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### Author: ![LegendHasit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/legendhasit/32/8246_2.png) [@LegendHasit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LegendHasit)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/3 "2023-07-04T01:24:51Z")

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Trains, sciency helmets, and horse wagons will travel you back and forth through time.

Talking slot and fortune telling machines are harbingers of doom.

Cameras and TV screens are portals to your final destination.

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### Author: ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/4 "2023-07-04T01:32:33Z")

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You can ride on the wing of an airplane without getting blown off.

Highly trained astronauts can’t tell the difference between the surface of the Earth and that of another planet.

You can be immortal and not look old.

All Creation myths were inspired by extraterrestrials.

Old people are really creepy.

Airplanes that fly into the past can stay aloft indefinitely.

It takes a long time to notice the Earth’s changing its orbit.

Two survivors of a holocaust are enough to repopulate the planet.

A time portal will magically open up if there’s an urgent need to do or get something.

The Devil can actually be contained in a jail cell.

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### Author: ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/5 "2023-07-04T01:37:01Z")

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> [@terentii](#):
>
> Old people are really creepy.

So are kids. If you’re in the middle of a multi-generation household you’d better put your affairs in order.

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### Author: ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/6 "2023-07-04T01:50:31Z")

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The slightest thing will set people at each others’ throats.

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### Author: ![XOldiesJock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ec9cab/32.png) [@XOldiesJock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XOldiesJock)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/7 "2023-07-04T01:51:57Z")

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There are just as many Monsters on Main Street now as then. Perhaps more so.

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### Author: ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/8 "2023-07-04T01:54:30Z")

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Kids can spend hours at the bottom of a swimming pool without drowning.

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### Author: ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/9 "2023-07-04T03:55:02Z")

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Defenestration is a common cause of death, particularly when time-bending cameras are involved.

A good writer can really bring a character to life!

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### Author: ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/10 "2023-07-04T03:56:53Z")

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Oh come on, you’re forgetting a key one.

Never, never, never bet about anything, with anyone. Ever.

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### Author: ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/11 "2023-07-04T04:23:34Z")

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Getting everything you’ve ever wanted really can be Hell.

Denizens of the Underworld can look, dress, and talk like Sebastian Cabot, Julie Newmar, or Burgess Meredith.

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### Author: ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/12 "2023-07-04T04:31:25Z")

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Don’t piss off a kid - or their doll.

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### Author: ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/13 "2023-07-04T05:25:38Z")

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Giant or tiny aliens are likely to be humans and you are not.

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### Author: ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/14 "2023-07-04T06:43:28Z")

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Any random object you find in a cornfield was probably put there by some bratty little kid.

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### Author: ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/15 "2023-07-04T11:05:34Z")

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> [@Kent\_Clark](#):
>
> All dolls, puppets, ventriloquist dummies, mannequins, etc. are evil.

How dare you, sir. How _dare_ you. I happen to have learned that, sometimes, if you’re just trying to make the best of a bad situation — be it as a hobo or a clown or a bagpiper or a ballet dancer or a military officer — your circumstances may well turn out to involve being, y’know, a doll.

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### Author: ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/16 "2023-07-04T12:49:49Z")

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The guys who fries your hamburgers all have Three Eyes.  
That’s why they wear the hats.

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### Author: ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/17 "2023-07-04T12:56:12Z")

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A good time machine has a ladder you have to climb to get to the controls.

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### Author: ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/18 "2023-07-04T13:19:28Z")

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Playing pool is a fine hobby but a lousy afterlife.

Don’t be sad about your career - one of your students may have died young due to careless medical experiments; that’s got to cheer you up.

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### Author: ![salinqmind1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@salinqmind1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind1)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/19 "2023-07-04T13:25:55Z")

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I actually would welcome Death if a young calm Robert Redford rapped on my door and offered to escort me out of my shabby apartment…More likely I’m dodging Death right now - he’s that evil grinning bastard I spot hitchhiking or at a gas station. Playing games while I’m driving across the country! And then he pops up in my back seat! Ah-hahahahahahahaaaaaa!

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### Author: ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2023, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-i-learned-watching-a-twilight-zone-marathon/986519/20 "2023-07-04T13:27:43Z")

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Dictatorial societies are pretty accommodating when you have some rather specific conditions in mind for your execution.

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