# Things I'd forgotten cats do. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 4, 2018, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269 "2018-07-04T05:34:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/21 "2018-07-04T17:20:22Z")
How about when its time to take a pill or go in the carrier. Magically they are invisible. Ghosted right out of the place. I recently had a bird fly in an open door. OMG! It was a hair/feather flying grand old time. Picture dogs barking, cats screeching and me running around trying to catch breakables from hitting the floor. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/22 "2018-07-04T18:18:24Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > cats screeching and me running around trying to **catch breakables from hitting the floor.** Does not compute. Please remember,this is the SDope, and we insist on using logic in our discussions. Yet you have posted something totally illogical. Let us examine the facts: 1. You have cats. 2. You have breakables. Ergo, there is only one conclusion: 3. There is nothing to catch. Your breakables all hit the floor a long, long time ago. ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/23 "2018-07-04T18:28:39Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Gravity is their weapon and their minion, imposing their sterile will upon one and all. Cats are the ultimate argument against a flat Earth. If a flat Earth, cats would have pushed everything into the void… ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/24 "2018-07-04T18:40:04Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > Does not compute. > > Please remember,this is the SDope, and we insist on using logic in our discussions. > Yet you have posted something totally illogical. > > Let us examine the facts: > > 1. You have cats. > 2. You have breakables. > > Ergo, there is only one conclusion: > 3. There is nothing to catch. > > Your breakables all hit the floor a long, long time ago. Funny how I keep replacing picture frames and vases. I have learned to just drink out of a plastic water bottle. If I neglected to snap the lid down a cat will invariably jump on the table it’s sitting on. Every. Freaking. Time. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/25 "2018-07-04T19:01:02Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > I had a new pair of shoes sitting next to an old pair of shoes. Guess which one the cat puked in. > > Go on, guess! Or the cat is near a doorway between two rooms starting to hork one up, one carpeted, the other bare. Guess which one she pukes in. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/26 "2018-07-04T19:17:37Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > Or the cat is near a doorway between two rooms starting to hork one up, one carpeted, the other bare. Guess which one she pukes in. Once for each. Carpeted for the barefoot ick, bare for the slip ‘n’ slide. ---
**Author:** ![Hopeful\_Crow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/da6949/32.png) [@Hopeful\_Crow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hopeful_Crow)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/27 "2018-07-04T19:40:51Z")
What I don’t get is when a human needs to hork, he has to do it _right now._ When Noir Kitty needs to hork, he has time to get up from his box or wherever he is and go to the mat in front of the basement door, or whatever his favorite horking spot is at the time. (It changes every six months or so.) Also, it’s rare to catch him in the act. He’s a nighttime horker but since the Big Crow doesn’t go to bed until 3 or 4 in the AM and I get up usually around 8 or 9, he’s got a fairly small window to work in, yet 9 out of 10 horks fall within this window. It must be a superhuman, make that superfeline, power. Back to the subject, all Venetian blinds are the work of the devil (obviously not the one cats serve) and must be destroyed. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/28 "2018-07-04T20:00:09Z")
Cats seem to have a propensity for sticking their ass in your face. ---
**Author:** ![Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enter_the_Flagon)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/29 "2018-07-04T20:18:02Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Cats seem to have a propensity for sticking their ass in your face. Yet another way in which they are the opposite of dogs. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/30 "2018-07-04T20:44:29Z")
Really, many of these ‘complaints’ are perfectly understandable, if you think about how cats have evolved and been domesticated & bred by humans – then they make sense: > [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](#): > > Middle of the night kitty crazies. > [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Wandering around the house in the middle of the night, “singing the song of their people.” Cats are crepuscular, meaning they are most active at twilight times. In the wild, that would be sunrise & sunset. But for an indoor house pet, ‘sunset’ is when you shut the lights off and go to bed. That’s when it’s time to inspect the territory, guarding against intruders and hunting vermin, like cats are evolved to do. > [@Grrr](#): > > I had a new pair of shoes sitting next to an old pair of shoes. Guess which one the cat puked in. > > Go on, guess! Well, the cat had the choice between the ones that obviously (based on smell) belonged to its’ companion, or some other ones, that don’t smell like anything belonging to this household. It chose the ones that are a stranger to the household. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/31 "2018-07-04T22:30:14Z")
You can lay on the couch for hours, no cats to be seen. Once you decide you might need to get up…suddenly a cat appears, sound asleep, on your chest. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/32 "2018-07-04T22:36:44Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > How about when its time to take a pill or go in the carrier. Magically they are invisible. Ghosted right out of the place. > I recently had a bird fly in an open door. OMG! It was a hair/feather flying grand old time. Picture dogs barking, cats screeching and me running around trying to catch breakables from hitting the floor. Had a similar situation many times except substitute bat for bird. Bat circles room, cat jumping from bed to dresser and back trying to catch the bat. At 3:00 am on a work night. Catch bat, take it outside, lay back down in bed and just as you are drifting off to sleep the alarm goes off and it’s time to get up. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/33 "2018-07-04T22:38:46Z")
Oh yeah, cat cries for a half hour wanting to know what you did with his bat. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/34 "2018-07-04T22:44:43Z")
Oh yeah, let’s not forget the time you are awakened just before dawn by the cat playing some crazy game on your chest. What’s the game? Oh. It’s a live mouse he’s brought for your enjoyment. Yay, it’s escaped the cat by going under the covers. With you. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/35 "2018-07-04T22:51:07Z")
You have ALL the fun. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/36 "2018-07-04T23:16:01Z")
> [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](#): > > … the ones that obviously (based on smell) belonged to **its’** companion … My bold. That apostrophe was just a wild stab in the dark, wasnt it? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/37 "2018-07-05T00:12:23Z")
Intentionally knock stuff off tables just to watch it fall to the ground. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/38 "2018-07-05T00:21:21Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > My bold. > > That apostrophe was just a wild stab in the dark, wasnt it? :dubious: My cat once killed and ate a grammar stickler. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/39 "2018-07-05T00:33:02Z")
Took the litter box outside to hose it out and the cat shat an enormous pile of diarrhea as close to the place where the box usually was, but not quite making it to the linoleum. ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269/40 "2018-07-05T00:43:39Z")
…and that reminds me of two. Go outside just long enough to eat some grass and then want to come in to puke it up. Resist any efforts to puke on the newspaper or paper towels placed right in front of him to puke on. The carpet is much better! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-id-forgotten-cats-do/817269.md?page=3)