# Things in movies that just ain't right! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 7, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864 "2003-07-07T22:01:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/61 "2003-07-11T00:39:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by X~Slayer(ALE) \* > \*\* Anyone really tried to jump thru a plate glass window? Unless you want a quick trip to the emergency room with hundreds of lacerations, dont do what Hollywood always does and jump thru a closed window to escape. Throw a chair first …or the bad guy. \*\* Actually, from personal experience, you’re perfectly safe… provided you keep moving… faster than the glass. I’ve done it by accident… and my dog did it on purpose once. We had a screen door with plate glass slats and the screen was out and… a cop car pulled into the driveway. So my dog barks excitedly, as the cop comes up the stairs and takes a running leap through the door. I can only imagine what the cop thought… turned out he just wanted to know who built our deck, but… wow. Bionic Standard Poodle. Gosh, havn’t thought of that in years. Anyhow. Basically, if you ever accidentally slip and put your hand through a glass window, DON’T flinch back and you’ll be kind of okay. ---
**Author:** ![MrBoy1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@MrBoy1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrBoy1967)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/62 "2003-07-11T01:22:28Z")
I agree on the glass door/window post-keep moving and you’re safe. Fall, like I did, and be glad the thing was safety glass (9 stitches) as opposed to normal pane glass (possible limb severing or decapitation. I’m always amazed at people who can outrun explosions. Especially small nukes. Or how shambling monsters always catch running victims. And how many clips are those action heroes carrying anyway? Not only that-they never accidentally get the wrong caliber bullets. Remember this quote? “JACK! I brought the wrong kind of bullets! Would you let me go back to the cabin and get the right kind?” (Jack, puzzled, replies) “Uhhhh, yeah! You do that!” ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/63 "2003-07-11T02:18:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*and Catherine Zeta-Jones should be naked in all her movies. \*\* VERY good point. Attractive women aren’t naked nearly often enough in movies. Don’t the filmmakers realize that half the audience is male and WANTS to see the female stars naked? Doesn’t necessarily add to the film’s realism, but it can be very, um, dramatic. Yeah, that’s it … dramatic. ---
**Author:** ![the\_terminator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/848f3c/32.png) [@the\_terminator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_terminator)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/64 "2003-07-11T02:28:54Z")
One that i think is funny is the hero will get into a brutal fight and not even make a face during it, but when a woman patches his wounds, he always winces. ---
**Author:** ![maddiesilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@maddiesilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maddiesilver)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/65 "2003-07-11T03:23:00Z")
I cannot watch courtroom dramas or other “legal” movies (or tv shows) without going nuts and cursing and berating all my friends by trying to convince them that Hollywood is totally irresponsible in its portrayal of trials, judicial procedure, etc… Sure, it makes for interesting “drama,” but… a husband and wife who represent opposing parties? like the Bar would ever allow such a thing…like anyone would ever consider it! (“sure, this will be good for the relationship…”) better yet…a daughter who represents her own father! (Music Box)… Every examination in chief I have ever seen in movies is a total crock…ever heard of “leading questions,” dear directors? and yet you inevitably see the prosecutor going nuts with a tirade disguised as a question…“is it not right that your husband hated you and on the morning of June 5th he was so desperate to meet his lover that he dissolved arsenic into your Ovaltine???”…no one objects, or any objection is instantly “overruled”…for no apparent reason… oh yeah…murderers suddenly confessing on the stand (a Matlock classic)…that REALLY happens a lot in “real life”… people are constantly adducing hearsay evidence (watch Philadelphia, for example), voicing opinions on which experts should be heard… and all judges are complete morons who make snap decisions without ever supporting them… Yeah…also, no lawyer I know breaks into song after work, shares a co-ed bathroom, or has dancing baby hallucinations…but hey! artistic licence… ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/66 "2003-07-11T03:25:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Evil Captor \* > \*\*VERY good point. Attractive women aren’t naked nearly often enough in movies. Don’t the filmmakers realize that half the audience is male and WANTS to see the female stars naked? \*\* Women are naked in movies a hell of a lot more often than men are. It’s extremely rare for a male lead to appear nude in a film (exception: Ewan McGregor), despite the face that half the audience is female and at least a few of them must be interested in naked men. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/67 "2003-07-11T03:57:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lamia \* > \*\*Women are naked in movies a hell of a lot more often than men are. It’s extremely rare for a male lead to appear nude in a film (exception: Ewan McGregor), despite the face that half the audience is female and at least a few of them must be interested in naked men. \*\* True enough, but if women want to see naked men in the movies, they must speak up as you have. Not my job to say what women want or don’t want. The only movie I can think of that went hog wild with that concept was of course “Free Willy.” ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/68 "2003-07-11T04:13:36Z")
In a word, cover. I once heard an interview with a guy who was a military advisor on “Full Metal Jacket”. He said that he had to kick and scream and bully to get the actors to take cover when under fire. As he memorably put it: “a real soldier under fire will lie down and dig with his tongue, if necessary, because standing up he has a fraction of a second to live”. But much of the time even in war movies, people under fire just stand around firing back. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/69 "2003-07-11T04:21:30Z")
> [@](#): > > **Characters who wear glasses, but are not hindered in the slightest after losing their glasses.** Except for times like today when I had to work in the rain, I _always_ wear glasses but I can function just as well without them on. I was even able to read the note my boss gave me in the twilight. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/70 "2003-07-11T05:16:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lamia \* > \*\*Women are naked in movies a hell of a lot more often than men are. It’s extremely rare for a male lead to appear nude in a film (exception: Ewan McGregor), despite the face that half the audience is female and at least a few of them must be interested in naked men. \*\* Counterexamples: “Wild Things” - Kevin Bacon’s schlong clearly visible as he gets out of the shower. “Boogie Nights” - Mak Walberg displays his (admittedly, fake) penis in the final scene. “Dances With Wolves” - Kevin Costner displays his ass. “12 Monkeys” - Bruce Willis, nude in several scenes, though none are exactly ‘sexy.’ “Basic Instinct” - Sharon Stone has plenty of hot love scenes, but all the men in them are just as bare as she is. And plenty more. The point is, men are naked in movies plenty, it just doesn’t have as much of an impact as a nude woman does. I honestly feel that women don’t enjoy seeing a nude man as much as men enjoy seeing a nude woman. If they did, we’d probably see even more naked men. ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/71 "2003-07-11T05:31:30Z")
Concussions. I’ve posted this before, but, what the heck. My biggest pet peeve is how Hollywood shows concussions. In the movies, if you hit someone hard enough on the head, they just lose consciousness. It’s just an excuse for bad script-writing. The unconsciousness lasts just long enough for the bad guy to grab a hostage and get away, or until the bad guy says “wakey-wakey, Mr Bond.” If you have two good guys in a brawl, knock out the good fighter early, and let his partner get beat _almost_ to death. Then the good fighter can wake up and save the day. :rolleyes: Knocking someone unconscious is also a way for a good guy to use non-lethal force. Is the hero undercover? Need to get past a guard who is not evil enough to kill? Bop the guard on the head! Problem solved! ---
**Author:** ![SnugTheJoiner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@SnugTheJoiner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnugTheJoiner)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/72 "2003-07-11T06:00:58Z")
Two from STAR TREK, seen many times: The ENTERPRISE is being fired upon by badguys and the control panels spark and burst into flames every time. They don’t have circuit breakers in the future? A badguy/madman/whatever is struggling with crewmembers. The doctor whips out a little injecting device and–PPFFFTTT!–administers a sedative. The struggling badguy goes limp instantaneously. I’m sure that they have really good sedatives in the future, but–the blood doesn’t need time to circulate? ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/73 "2003-07-11T06:05:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Elmer Snerd \* > \*\*Women must wear tight revealing clothing and impractical shoes that interfere with running, fighting, tunnel-crawling, climbing, or other athletics. \*\* Oh, another one from T3. The T-X robochick was wearing high heels while she was able to run fast enough to keep up with a car. I loved it! ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/74 "2003-07-11T07:12:36Z")
Well, in all fairness, she _was_ a killer liquid metal future robot. Maybe they have a running in high heels subroutine, or summat. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/75 "2003-07-11T13:51:36Z")
**Lamia, Evil Captor** I think we call agree on ‘more nakedness’ in general. If we pay their salary and they use that salary to hire personal trainers, shouldn’t we get to view the results? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/76 "2003-07-11T15:19:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > \*\* > The point is, men are naked in movies plenty, it just doesn’t have as much of an impact as a nude woman does. > \*\* You are kidding yourself if you think there are anywhere near as many male nude scenes in mainstream films as there are female nude scenes. They are not nonexistent, but they are relatively rare. Even Ewan McGregor has said that part of the reason why he is willing to do nude scenes is because they are so rare, which is unfair to both actresses (why should they have to take their kit off when actors don’t?) and female viewers (why should male viewers get all the fanservice?). > [@](#): > > \*\* > I honestly feel that women don’t enjoy seeing a nude man as much as men enjoy seeing a nude woman. If they did, we’d probably see even more naked men. \*\* You don’t know women very well, do you? I mean, I can’t say _I_ am that keen to see nude men on screen, but that’s because I want little to do with nude men in real life. The majority of women do not feel the same way. Personally I’d just like to see things be fair (attractive young actresses should not be expected to bare all any more often than attractive young actors), but believe you me there are plenty of women who would _love_ to see a lot more beefcake in films. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/77 "2003-07-11T16:39:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lamia \* > **You are kidding yourself if you think there are anywhere near as many male nude scenes in mainstream films as there are female nude scenes. They are not nonexistent, but they are relatively rare.** And what scientific survey are you basing that on? A paraphrased quote from Ewan McGregor hardly proves anything. For every movie where a woman appears shirtless, I can name one where a man does as well. I have seen quite a few movies in my time, and hearing people still quoting this old saw about how “women appear nude more often than men,” when it is manifestly untrue, is what I based my statement upon. Women may appear dressed _provocatively_ quite a bit more often than men, but that’s not the same as “nude.” In films where women appear nude it is very often in the context of a sex scene, with a man _who is also nude._ The exceptions are exploitation films, such as “Showgirls,” or the works of Russ Meyer. There are damn few mainstream films playing in theaters nationwide where women simply appear nude for no good reason. Perhaps you’re thinking of a movie like “Swordfish,” where Halle Berry displayed her breasts? sorry, Hugh Jackman appeared shirtless in the same film. And I could name a million similar examples. \*\* > [@](#): > > You don’t know women very well, do you? I mean, I can’t say _I_ am that keen to see nude men on screen, but that’s because I want little to do with nude men in real life. The majority of women do not feel the same way. Personally I’d just like to see things be fair (attractive young actresses should not be expected to bare all any more often than attractive young actors), but believe you me there are plenty of women who would _love_ to see a lot more beefcake in films. \*\* Well, they way you are making (or attempting and failing to make) your point tells me _you_ really don’t know Hollywood very well. I’ve followed the film industry for years, both as a simple movie buff and as a sometime-paid critic. The truth is, if there _was_ this huge market for “beefcake” that you claim, then the demand would be met in an instant. Movie studios have zero qualms about making and marketing a product that sells, as long as it’s legal. As for your desire for things to be “fair,” don’t be a simpleton. The majority of films are not social statements, they are carefully designed engines for making money. As I’ve already pointed out, there are _ **plenty** _ of nude or semi-nude men in American films. If they don’t stick in the mind well as naked women do, well, then that just about proves my point, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/78 "2003-07-11T16:57:41Z")
Have you noticed that weapons, whether shotguns or bazookas, rarely have a kick? And that it’s perfectly okay for Rambo to aim a missile launcher or bazooka out a helicopter window as it’s not going to injure the people directly behind him? And morning sex: how many of you want to be kissed by your partner when s/he first wakes up after 8 hours of nightbreathing and no toothpaste? Re: nudity: why is nudity essential to the plot for Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman, but not for Ed Asner and Bea Arthur? (Speaking of Nicole, I remember watching EYES WIDE SHUT and thinking “what a prick! you let your wife walk around totally naked yet you won’t even show a butt cheek!”- then soon after she divorced him- coincidence?) ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/79 "2003-07-11T18:37:09Z")
The most effective way to get away from a car is to run down the middle of the street. No need to duck into an alley, or take advantage of a human’s superior turn radius. No, no, just outrun the car. And at night the streets are always wet and shiny, even in LA. Computers always have custom GUIs with moving graphics and sound effects to do the simplest things. Actually, one of the things I liked about Microsoft’s Xbox was that their non-game console UI looked like a movie computer UI…green transparencies, moving windows, swishes and bleeps. Cool. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864/80 "2003-07-11T19:13:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sampiro \* > \*\*And morning sex: how many of you want to be kissed by your partner when s/he first wakes up after 8 hours of nightbreathing and no toothpaste? > \*\* \>Raises hand.\< I always wanted to be kissed by her, no matter what the circumstances. And morning sex is GREAT! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-in-movies-that-just-aint-right/186864.md?page=5)