cigarettes.
While GrizzWife and GrizzCub werefinishing in the checkout line, I turned to see the WALL of cigarette cartons.
I started counting the different types of smokes one could get.
I stopped when I got to 132. (there were many more, I just had to leave)
Different brands. King, super, longs and regular.
Menthol, light, full flavor.
Filtered and filterless.
on and on and on and on and on…
I got to wondering… do smokers have to go through ALL THOSE DIFFERENT CIGARETTES to find the one that they like?
I’m fascinated by the sudden proliferation of cookie varieties from Oreo and Chips Ahoy. When I was growing up, you had Oreos, Double-Stuff and sometimes the fudge-covered variety. For Chips Ahoy, your options were crunchy or chewie.
Now Chips Ahoy comes in reduced fat, chocolate, peanut butter chip, and they’ve introduced Creamwiches in vanilla and chocolate. Oreos come in reduced fat, chocolate and mint.
I’m not complaining about the Creamwiches, as they marry the crunchy Chips Ahoy and the Oreo experience into one great cookie experience, but why the sudden proliferation. I can only speculate that they’re trying to lure back customers who fell into the clutches of Famous Amos, the Girl Scouts and Snackwells.
I believe I have eaten most of the edibles listed here.
Except the goat heads? I’ve never seen a goat head in a store.
If we want goat meat, we have to buy the whole goat, invite several nearest and dearest, and have a BBQ.
Microwaveable pork rinds. As if pork rinds weren’t disgusting enough, you can make these in your microwave, so the smell of fatty pigskins can permeate your household. I had to buy them. I ate one. Nasty.
Also, the whole canned chicken fascinates me. What is their quality control process to ensure can-sized chickens?
I, too, have wondered how one goes about juicing a clam, or any other type of shellfish. If there is clam juice (cleverly mixed with tomato, to form Clamato), why not mussel juice, or scallop juice.
Potato Buds. The first time I saw these when I was ten, I couldn’t fathom how this powder turned into a food, and why a person would want to eat a potato bud in the first place. This still bothers me.
Umm, Winston Smith, “long pig” refers to human flesh as eaten by cannibals. :eek:
Speaking of hot sauce…
The one I really got a kick out of was once sighted in the Cleveland Food Co-Op. Its brand name: Religious Experience Hot Sauce. 
I should have bought it just so I could save the label in a scrapbook.
My favorite moment in a grocery store came while browsing through the Hispanic stuff. I discovered bottles of a South American marinade whose Spanish name is — get this — Mojo. I kid you not! 
I just stood there looking at it for a while, taking in the fact that there really is such a thing as bottled Mojo.
vanilla: Maybe nobody wants more than that “little bit” of octopus at time.
booklover: There are actually five varieties of Funky Fries: Cool Blue, Crunchy Rings, Cocoa Crispers, Sour Cream & Jive, and Cinna-Fries.
I haven’t tried the chocolate or cinnamon flavors. The blue ones are just regular seasoned fries with some dye added, and the rings are hollowed-out tater tots. If you like sour cream and chives, that flavor is worth checking out, but it won’t exactly rock your world.
Otto: re: clam juice and how they get it
They take away baby clams as soon as they are born, stick them in a small pen so they can’t move around, keep it totally dark so they get anemic (the darkness makes the juice nice and clear), then “milk” them til theres none left.
Then they throw em away.
WILL NO ONE STOP THIS MADNESS!!!
To further expand on the neck bones…
Ukulele Ike, think of neck bones, particularly smoked ones, as substitutes for ham hocks. I use neck bones to season my black-eyed peas and my kale/mustard greens. Every now and again I use them to season a pot of string beans when I’m feeling nostalgic for my granny’s cooking.
I used to get “stuck” in the cereal aisle. I can wander up and down, looking at all the different varieties for hours. I like trying different ones, but always get one that I know I like, just in case the new one is a really poor choice.
I also love the spice section, especially in larger grocery stores. I mean, who knew there are like forty seven different ways of chopping onion or garlic? Not to mention the myriad of salts, peppers, Mrs. Dash, lemon, etc. I always wonder how diced garlic is supposed to taste different from ground garlic. Or pressed cloves are different from whole cloves. Stuff like that just intrigues me to no end. Plus I like the way that aisle smells!
Oh yeah, and the soaps/detergent aisle. Man, I can walk up and down that one forever. The smell always keeps me lingering!
The grocery stores where I grew up had an entire aisle devoted to the generic products. This must have been back in the day when the store made its own brand, so you’d have an aisle full of products with white labels and black lettering. My personal favorite was the $0.39 can of “DOG FOOD” with the warning that basically said, “do not feed to dogs.”
Nowadays, it’s the Jesus candles. I haven’t figured out what they’re for, or why the local Giant thinks they belong between the Mexican food and the Jewish/Kosher products.
:smack:
My bad. Brain fart I guess.
I meant “MSG”, the nasty stuff found in chinese food. GHB is a recreational drug, I believe.
Meatless meat products. Okay, I understand stuff like veggie burgers, that’s cool. But products made to look and taste like meat products…I mean, TOFURKEY!!! It’s a tofu turkey that’s given DIMPLES to make it look like turkery, and it even has an artificial wishbone. Wha!!
Bottled Waters. Okay, I lived in an apartment where it took the tap water a good five minutes before it became clear, so I’ve gone out there and purchased a few. But is there really that much difference between one bottled water and another that justifies charging two to three times the price of another one? And all these so called “flavored waters.” They’re just water. there’s no flavor in them unless you think the color of the wrapper has somehow instilled “pink” into your water.
Fried Rice in a can. Now that’s just silly.
Baby Bottle Pops, and the miriad of other bizare shapes and shit they do to candy now to make kids want them. What’s wrong with bars and balls of chocolate?
Snouse?
Anyone else ever seen this stuff? It’s a deli meat composed of peppers and pig snouts in a gelatin loaf.
One of the most fascinating things I have ever seen…
Is this what you’re talking about? I’ve bought the stuff. It’s not bad as a marinade for chicken.
brujo—that’s it exactly, hombre. Goya brand.
Oh yeah, and Religious Experience Hot Sauce is still around, if you want to check it out. “For a hot time, call 1-800-…” 
Long-Pig is a term for human meat. Eating it that is. What store do you frequent?
Ox tails are a trip. They even slice them for your convenience and the circumfrence of each slice gets smaller and smaller because, well…that’s the way tails are.